Mumsnet Village Hall - committee members and volunteers needed

[FavouriteMug]

I've got the keys and we've got the entire building to ourselves. There's a kitchenette with a large enough fridge for Gin (maybe milk if absolutely necessary).

I need committee members and volunteers to organise a packed social calendar.

On the agenda for first meeting:

The Mumsnet Play - we need to agree on the script and then we can start casting

Life Drawing Class - we need a subject and smocks of course

Cake and Gin night - cant decide which night but I think gin should be funded from play proceeds.

Hot Desk Space - those of us who work from home can come together once a week and pretend to be busy and important.

Excercise Class - but what? We don't actually need to turn up but it should at least appear on the calendar.

Book Club - I can't be arsed so someone else will need to volunteer for this.

So, whose in and what can you contribute?

Heads up we will need to change the WIFI password after Phoenix has been in as theGent5smellsoffw33! will be even less memorable.

And really @pollysshoe I think you're cherry picking the Inbox; you made no useful help solving the PTA/Kind Laura issue that's caused me conniptions all weekend.

@KurtWilde Well, I’ve heard on very good authority, not that I’m one to gossip, of course, that there has been rather too much dib dib dibbing, if you get my drift, and that Akela was caught in a somewhat compromising, ahem, “situation” with Brown Owl when a knot tying lesson went drastically wrong and the Parish Secretary walked past and had to stage an intervention. They’ve now been banned from holding any further meetings!

@100problems

And really *@pollysshoe* I think you're cherry picking the Inbox; you made no useful help solving the PTA/Kind Laura issue that's caused me conniptions all weekend.

@100problems As Kind Laura is your cousin's wife's best friend I naturally assumed you would be dealing with that email yourself.

I assume you have declared the relationship per Bullet 9 of the Committee Decisions Conflicts of Interest Protocol?

Might I press you for an answer for the Rainbow Alliance on the question of Gender Neutral Toilets? Phoenix (she / his) could pop round and put the decals up?

I'm sorry, but if you do that I will need to dress up in a dinosaur costume to put stickers on the back of the toilet doors in the ladies. saying 'Women don't have penises'

@FuzzyPuffling

I'm booking the local Sea Shanty group as a fundraiser. Anyone want to run the bar and raffle?

For the love of god, please tell me it not the Seaman Staines Players. Absolute carnage the last time they played!

We’ve had a noise complaint from Mavis at number 73 about the am-dram group’s rehearsals of their production of Stomp.

She says, and I quote, “If those twats don’t stop banging dustbin lids while I’m trying to watch Songs of Praise, I’ll be sticking my walking stick up them where the sun don’t shine”.

Do we need a laminated sign reminding them to not make contact during rehearsals?

Perhaps one of the craft groups can make some dustbin lid mufflers? I think we have a some large rolls of felt and wadding left over from the quilted display that was made for the Princess Diana memorial. It should be under the stage behind the tombola.

Oh my gosh the Seaman Staines Players. Heaven help us. 3 people bluelighted to hospital with shock. I don’t think Edna has been the same since.

I certainly learned some new things about human anatomy that night. Things I never wanted to know.

Jumping Jack strikes again with a new request for another trampoline party. I have already explained that we cannot have the dragon trampoline which flattens our lovely shrubs or scrapes the ceiling in the hall.

@godeeva

Jumping Jack strikes again with a new request for another trampoline party. I have already explained that we cannot have the dragon trampoline which flattens our lovely shrubs or scrapes the ceiling in the hall.

And this time it is definitely NO DOGS ALLOWED.

I woul love to judge the flower&produce show. including pointed passive-agressive comments on the entries.
'the tart has a bottom as soggy as rainham marsh'

@purplesequins

I woul love to judge the flower&produce show. including pointed passive-agressive comments on the entries. 'the tart has a bottom as soggy as rainham marsh'

and I shall only hand in the receipts after the accounts for the year have been closed. unsorted, crumpled and with coffee stains of course. plus I have all the teaspoons at home. oops.

So when's the Fashion Show then?

Just don't let Bodger Bob build the catwalk this time. My Persephone is still having physio from the time she tumbled into the Lady Mayoress' lap and got tangled in her chain of office.

Just as long as the Fashion Show is not dominated this time by pastel polyester from "Creations by Mavis". Especially with those hats. It made far too much of a contrast with the "Plastic Retro Punk" section by the local school and I fear Mavis has never been the same since.

the fashion show can be the evening event after flower&produce.

which means ms janet, who voluntered as part of her doe will have to stay from 8am 'till midnight and defend the raffles table with her life,

I'm sure I've still got my WI judges handbook somewhere if we need a fixed point of reference on the craft, flower and produce show. Please also pre book security for the after show auction, we don't want fights breaking out again as well as making sure the takings do actually get banked.

1 I hope the curtains will be 1980s red velvet
2 the OAPs were wanting a monthly fish and chip supper. the bin will be filled with greasy smelly papers and if Brenda can stand up long enough she will rinse the plates under the tap assuming that will sufficient
3 local OAPs home wants the knitting group to knit some willy warmers for their residents luminous green if possible

sunil forgot to supply the dishwasher tablets again so wendy has used washing up liquid in the dishwasher.. and then left the hall.
the tai-chi group had to wade through 3 feet of foam.

You do know that Wendy puts the toilet brushes in the dishwasher?

not the toilet brushes.
but the mop heads