Mumsnet Village Hall - committee members and volunteers needed

[FavouriteMug]

I've got the keys and we've got the entire building to ourselves. There's a kitchenette with a large enough fridge for Gin (maybe milk if absolutely necessary).

I need committee members and volunteers to organise a packed social calendar.

On the agenda for first meeting:

The Mumsnet Play - we need to agree on the script and then we can start casting

Life Drawing Class - we need a subject and smocks of course

Cake and Gin night - cant decide which night but I think gin should be funded from play proceeds.

Hot Desk Space - those of us who work from home can come together once a week and pretend to be busy and important.

Excercise Class - but what? We don't actually need to turn up but it should at least appear on the calendar.

Book Club - I can't be arsed so someone else will need to volunteer for this.

So, whose in and what can you contribute?

@KurtWilde that's all well and good but please remember to leave the kitchen how you found it. Myself and other Bossy Boots's ladies were left disgusted and "fumming" last week when the previous users didn't put things away properly. I don't know who the culprits are but they failed to replace the tea pot lids properly when they put them away and stacked all the tea cups with the handles pointing in the wrong direction. Things like this spoil it for everybody else.

Saturday afternoons- the Hall could be let out for kids birthday parties for £30. We have a vvvv strict numbers policy so that extra siblings can't randomly pitch up. I'm happy to be party coordinator so organising the calendar for this and organising pass the parcel etc. Parents would be welcome to stay for wine or drop and run.

@pansypotter123 well it wasn't us, it's probably the scouts. We always seem to be missing a few jammie dodgers the day after they've dib dib dibbed. I wouldn't be surprised if they've been at the tea, too.

But you didn't hear it from me..

The archery club need a venue for indoor shooting. We will need to put up a fuck off big net to protect the windows, have 20 metre shooting distance and take 2 hours on a Wednesday evening before falling into the pub. Of course, Alan, who uses a compound with massive arrows will somehow by pass the fuck off net and pierce the wall bars at the end of the hall and shatter them. Ray, who is somewhat random, will also entangle himself in the ghastly 1970s hall curtains and rip a set down. This will entail much muttering and the caretaker will hate us.

I'm booking the local Sea Shanty group as a fundraiser. Anyone want to run the bar and raffle?

Nobody has answered my question upthread. stanps footWhat about wedding receptions?
I have lived here, like forever since i relocated from London about 5 minutes ago and me and my fiancé think it would suit our retro theme. We could depart afterwards by hot air balloon from the recreation ground next to the hall. I'm getting soon stressed and the wedding is taking place in 2025.

Hello all!!! Just moved to the village here from Great Didling but you seem a friendly bunch!!!

Oodles of experience as right hand woman to our esteemed Chair at Great Didling Village Hall, Christine. Ladies, do, do pick my brains if you need any help. Christine and I had it all running like clockwork and happy to pass on our tips.

Quick heads up on the chairs re stacks of four. We always stacked them in fives at Great Didling and haven't had a topple since 2012!!! Christine's husband was a structural engineer so on good authority!

Popped into the Hall last night while you were all at the Mouldy Badger (Phyllis the keyholder is a sweetie, isn't she! ) and took the opportunity to restack them in fives. Sure you'll agree it's SO much more efficient and gives us an extra 19'' of space between the bunting cupboard and the serving hatch.

100Problems Thank you so much for your positive and welcoming response. Monday evening will suit Phoenix (ham/she) very well: the Gender Neutral Toilet Decals will be put up on then.

Phoenix (she/ who) does have a van, they work for an inclusive woodland burials company and it is a pink van with ‘Private Ambulance’ sign written in pale blue on the side but I will see what we can do to disguise it as a gas van.

Phoenix could make a DANGER: POSSIBILTY OF EXPLOSION! sign? (Laminated of course).

So excited to be joining this vibrant Community centre alongside all you village people ❤️

Well hello @MostlyEatingBiscuits, I don't know what passed for acceptable chair stacking protocol at Great Didling, but in this village we do not drag our chairs across the floor, we lift them. Those scratches were not there when I locked up earlier.

TheChemicalMother Shall I do some laminated signs too? We found signs very useful at Great Didling for this sort of thing. Can't have too many, Christine always says. I've got my own laminator. And cones. And hazard tape. I've still got the key from Phyllis (oops!!!) so I'll pop along and get it all sorted.

There still aren't any bourbons

No takers for the sea shanties then? Huh, I'll haul away on my own and stuff the £24.30 it would have raised for the tea fund.

And please can someone sort out the hall door - it doesn't slam properly.

@FuzzyPuffling

No takers for the sea shanties then? Huh, I'll haul away on my own and stuff the £24.30 it would have raised for the tea fund.

And please can someone sort out the hall door - it doesn't slam properly.

I don't think I have any takers for the lunch club. We can set up a breakaway group in the Scout hut singing sea shanties over soup and scones.

Well, I can assure you Namechangeforthis88 that all protocols at Great Didling are strictly observed. Christine runs a tight ship.

I suggest any scratches on the floor were caused by the verger who was leaving with what looked like lighting equipment just before I arrived.

Excellent idea ApolloandDapne. Honestly, you put forward fabulous ideas and the so called committee don't give you the time of day.

Isn't Great Didling that place where there were certain financial irregularities found and the Chair had to leave all of a sudden?

Along with Birthday Parties I don't mind being all party co-ordinator. So landmark anniversaries, bar/bat mitzvahs , weddings & wakes. But it will be on a those living in the village the longest getting first dibs.

Just no blue tack, confetti, streamers, balloons or bouncy castles. I will tolerate flowers so long as they're done by Betty who does the church flowers.

@FuzzyPuffling

Excellent idea ApolloandDapne. Honestly, you put forward fabulous ideas and the so called committee don't give you the time of day.

@fuzzypuffling To be honest the current committee seem a little self obsessed and power mad. I think we could probably stage a coup and ensure more niche groups get a look in when it comes to booking sessions. The hedgehog appreciation group have been shunted off so I believe. They are getting a little prickly.

And the Save the Local Frog Group are hopping mad.

@FuzzyPuffling

And the Save the Local Frog Group are hopping mad.

Indeed.

Just checked the email inbox for the first time in 6 months and we've received a Subject Access Request from 'grabby' Gerald.

We asked him to leave because he kept helping himself to 'leftover' hall supplies. Remember the great tea shortage of 2016 and not to mention the loo roll crisis of 2020?

Does anyone know which Committee deals with Subject Access Requests?

I think you had better check your facts before throwing wild accusations like that around FuzzyPuffling. I'll have you know that that money was just resting in her account.

@pollysshoe

Just checked the email inbox for the first time in 6 months and we've received a Subject Access Request from 'grabby' Gerald.

We asked him to leave because he kept helping himself to 'leftover' hall supplies. Remember the great tea shortage of 2016 and not to mention the loo roll crisis of 2020?

Does anyone know which Committee deals with Subject Access Requests?

Was it Gerald who was behind the Gin shortage of circa 2017? Remember we couldn't get any for miles it was chaos as there was a flower arranging workshop at the time who needed gin for themselves and to keep the flowers fresh

You need to speak to George who lives above the pub

@MostlyEatingBiscuits

I think you had better check your facts before throwing wild accusations like that around FuzzyPuffling. I'll have you know that that money was just resting in her account.

Well, I read it in the Daily Fail so it must be true!

Well, I read it in the Daily Fail so it must be true!

Well, you should also know that Christine's brother in law is an eminent QC and with the help of her nephew who was interning as a paralegal at one of London's leading libel firms managed to secure a four figure sum in damages and a page 7 apology. Above the fold.

So I suggest you be careful. Very careful indeed.