Feeling a bit blue and teary today - I need a nice story or silly joke…

[KittenKong]

It’s all getting a bit much now. I was just reading some info about the disease my sister has (terminal) and it sucks. She is on the other side of the world.

Could so with a smile… any takers?

Aah I'm sorry, I'm totally rubbish at jokes. I like to go on the Humans Being Bros sub on Reddit when I'm feeling sad, it's people doing nice things.

Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. Fsssh!

I'll get my coat...

I once got in a real sulk and a huff like a teenager. Stomping around the house. I went to the bedroom and fully threw myself onto the bed backwards in a big strop.

Then I felt something cold and wet against the back of my head, touched it, looked round, and in my full on teenager style strop, I'd flung myself onto a pile of cold cat sick.

Not my best moment!

What do you call a french man wearing sandals?

Phillip Fillop

Here is a ddoggy hug for you op...

Awwwwww. Pet pics appreciated too.

I’m on my work gettogether call and blubbing and snorkking away (sound and video off obv). So I am bound to get ‘volunteered’ for allsorts…

god, pull yourself together kitten…

Aww that sounds awful, hope you get through it without too much stress 🙂

What's the difference between a dirty old bus station and a lobster with boobs?

One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Dcat one..

Scientists have discovered that trees have a way of communicating with each other.

It’s called WhatSap.

Funniest mumsnet thread ever: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/752184-hauck-stroller-pound-25-Asda?pg=1&order=

It’s a thing of beauty and you don’t need to read 100s of posts like lots of the classics

Remember that TV show 'Bread'?

I had a small roll in that.

Melt your heart?

Comedy gold post about a chap thinking we could all be millionaires on betting on horse racing due to the time difference in America!

www.hotukdeals.com/discussions/just-thought-about-this-online-betting-idea-189552

@ChristmasQuizzer

Funniest mumsnet thread ever: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/752184-hauck-stroller-pound-25-Asda?pg=1&order=

It’s a thing of beauty and you don’t need to read 100s of posts like lots of the classics

Hahaha. This made me laugh. I needed this today too

Big hugs op @KittenKong

A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips. Its peculiarity was that it had feet.
After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free. "Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?" "Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor.
.
"That would be defeeting the porpoise.

True!

I can offer a picture of my devil child?

Awwww 🥰

@RonniePickering he looked like this in a photo once and now I don’t go to sleep whilst he naps

Haha 😭😂

Also this song always cheers me up. It sounds like waking up for a new day and hope

m.youtube.com/watch?v=z_UwpVeKE8Q

OP if you’re on Facebook, check out Pet Portraits by Hercule, guaranteed to make you chuckle.

Sorry to hear about your sister.

One of my favourites

When I was young and left the door open my mum would ask "Were you born in a barn?" You'd think she'd remember something like that!

Sorry - it's all I have - a coffee shop I pass posts a joke on a chalkboard outside every day and this was today's effort...