Access to your partner's phone

[WhalesTales]

Just wondering what is normal here. Do you have full access to your partner's phone and do you use it just because. I mean reading emails, WhatsApp messages and going through photos. And how soon after getting together would you expect this access?

If I wanted full access sure I could have it. Like DH could with mine.

But I've never gone through his messages/photos. No need or want to. Neither of us are secret about anything apart from if we're buying each other gifts.

Sounds like you don't trust your partner so I'd say length of time together is irrelevant.

Never.
A person who expected this is no partner for me.

I'm single. This isn't me. But someone close to me said their partner reads their messages. Some of which may be mine. I find it odd. I was then told that all new relationships would expect this. I would hate this as some conversations I have are private to me and the recipient.

I don’t but I’m sure I could. I wouldn’t expect it at any point though as it’s his phone not mine and while he could look through mine at any point I’d be pissed off if he expected to as his right to check up on me. Serious lack of trust. If someone is expecting this if you I’d run a mile.

Why do you feel the need to go through his emails, WhatsApp messages and photos?

Not sure why I would want to read his messages? They are his and private. I don't think you have a right to go through someone's phone just because you're their partner, even if there is nothing to hide.

@DroopyClematis I don't. I'm single

Never. We have been together 14 years and the day we start going through phones is the day we are done.

I can get in his phone if I need, like if he is driving and needs to check an email, but nothing would possess me to abuse that, and nor would he.

If you don't have trust, you don't have anything.

Why would you need access to his phone? You don't trust him?
I think both partners deserve their privacy.

Not normal. We both know the codes to unlock each other's phones and have nothing to hide but no way would either of us routinely read the other's messages. That not healthy. Your friend's relationship is not a healthy one.

I'm single but when I was married we did not have access to each other's phones, it wouldn't even have occured to me to ask.

I believe in privacy, sometimes I might be discussing something with friends that they might not want a partner to see and I would never betray their confidence.

I would never, ever expect that from DH.

We have each others passcodes, especially as I use his phone for him when he's driving, but I would never dream if going down his phone.

Never in terms of reading messages etc; that’s my private conversations.

DH and I have full access to each other's phones. We'd use each other's regularly enough if we pick one up to call a take away for example.
We never look through each other's phones.. ever. We totally could I wouldn't have a problem I very much doubt he would either but we just don't. There is no need everyone's entitled to a little privacy.

We have access to each others phones if one of us needed to use it for any reason but it would never cross our minds to check them. Everyone is entitled to privacy, he knows my password because I know he trusts me not to feel the need to go reading through everything

I'm glad it isn't just me who finds it odd. I obviously don't know the full context or the nature of what is being looked at but I just find it unsettlingly. It has now made me think twice about what I text them in case it is read.

Never, this isn’t ok.

I could read DPs messages if I wanted to but I don't. He could read mine but doesn't, I wouldn't be happy if he was doing it regularly

I occasionally see his messages if say he's driving he will ask me to read out a message. So I would see who's he's been messaging but I wouldn't read them all. There's just no need.

Again sometimes I will access his emails if say a holiday email has been sent to his emails, but I wouldn't read them all.

There's no healthy relationship where partners read each others messages just because. That means you don't trust each other, and you are expecting someone to cheat. I don't need to read messages between him and his friends, it is relentless formula one memes.

No one has access to my phone other than me, I'm sure no one would read my messages but I like to think friends can message me what they want and have the confidence that no one other than me will read it.
I'd be furious if I was messaging someone in confidence and then their partner was reading it!

Been together 24 years and neither of us wants access to the others phone or post. I wouldn't like a relationship where this happened, it seems like an invasion of privacy.

no, it is intrusive

I could have full access if I wanted, as could DH, I certainly have nothing to hide. I just don't get why you would unless you have suspicions, it just makes you look mistrusting.

No. I can't get in his phone, he can't get in mine. And that's the way I like it.

Full access, doesn’t bother me. There’s nothing of interest on it anyway 😂