Phrases you hate reading on mumsnet

[Ohmycron]

I’ve been on mumsnet for about 18 years and you know what, if I read about people putting ducks in a row once more I might go mental.
What phrase do you hate.

"i would [insert unreasonable or appalling reaction] but that's just me"
and i swear I can hearthe self-satisfied face being pulled as its typed.

There’s also a strange trend for an OP saying, I dunno, some vaguely controversial opinion, Covid or whatever. And then ending with

“What am I missing?”

“Are you on glue?”

"Gently" or "Kindly" at the start of a sentence drives me mad.

"Oh my love"/"Oh sweetheart".

I know the poster is trying to be kind and not really fucking patronising, but that's not how it comes across in my mind.

I know it's not the same thing but if I see 'viscous' one more time, I may start foaming at the mouth.

“Ooh looks like I touched a nerve 🤣🤣🤣” when you respond/defend yourself when someone has said something spectacularly nasty to you.

Also, “man here.” I’m not against men using mn, but why do you need to announce it?

“Pearl clutching” is overused on here. It’s boring.

The yellow flower emoji that I think is meant to be like giving the finger?
Having a “niche” job or hobby
The green face emoji with (not envy) after. Usually when talking about vomit,poo, used moon cups etc when it’s bloody obvious they mean it’s gross and are not envious.
Are you drunk/on glue
People accusing people who drink normal amounts of being alcoholics
Suggesting OP simply says something passive aggressive with a “tinkly laugh” and a “big smile”
“If it was me I’d say/do (something witty, clever but impractical to deal with a situation) but then that’s just me” or “but then I’m not afraid to speak up” or some other dig at the OP
Ddog and dcat-it’s not shorthand if it’s more letters!
Even DH,DC is quite annoying but I’m used to it now.especially annoying when “DH” is not dear/darling at all. Could we just use H, C, F,M,S etc for husband, father,mother, sister not sure the D helps.

I hate LTB, which now seems to be the standard response to anything from domestic abuse to a partner not putting his underpants in the wash. Like, any woman can just walk out. Where are they supposed to go? How do they live, especially if they have small children and their DH is the main wage earner? It took me years, and a joint house move to a cheaper town, before I was in a financial position to LTB. It's a big decision, it's not easy and often there are insuperable financial obstacles.

Not so much a phrase but it really bugs me when people write really LONG paragraphs but there are no full stops, no commas, no separate paragraphs etc.

The NHS is on its knees and overwhelmed (again....)

"That's offensive"

Any ridiculous swear words seen as oh so hilarious. I don't mind calling someone a cunt, I will refuse to say "cunt waffle" or whatever phrase is quoted as hiiiiiilarious.

Ridiculous suggestions on how they should respond to annoying/offensive family members. Usually a long work worthy text about how the comments have offended them so going forward they would appreciate bla bla, I'm sure you can understand, respect boundaries. An array of bollocks, usually can be shortened to "you're being a dick and it's annoying"

Misogynist. Never seen it used except on MN.

I know it's not the same thing but if I see 'viscous' one more time, I may start foaming at the mouth.

Ah yes, those viscous circles...

And in the same vein: Discrete. It is NOT an alternative spelling for discreet. It means something else entirely, and therefore changes the entire meaning of your sentence.

'On its knees'- so overused.

I dislike referring to breast feeding as boob, 'baby wants boob'. Read a thread yesterday, "he was on and off the boob all night" "I don't want to take his boobs away from him" I am 100% for breast feeding but its the term that grates on me. They were the OPs boobs, not the ds.

@WindInTheWillows7

"That's offensive"

Or when you disagree with someone and they say, "I'm sorry you're offended".

Errr no, I just disagree with you but you clearly can't accepted it.

Have form for, and of a morning. Can't explain why, but those two expressions always annoy me.

I know it's not the same thing but if I see 'viscous' one more time, I may start foaming at the mouth.

You have defiantly got a a problem.

‘You seem very over invested’

…in your child, health, life in general 🙄

Oh and ‘meeting needs’, unless used in a SEN context.

Oh god. Threads that are labelled as “lighthearted “
ILL DECIDE HOW ILL REPLY

@coogee

I know it's not the same thing but if I see 'viscous' one more time, I may start foaming at the mouth.

You have defiantly got a a problem.

I know, I'm fumming.

Incandescent. Nobody uses that word in real life to describe anger.

Also 'boils my piss' mingin.

Give you head a wobble. Serious threads and the poster says after every sentence - ha ha ha, he hasn’t text. Oh well ha ha ha. it really winds me up.

"Are you quite well?"
"Have you asked her if she is quite well?"

Normally in response to someone asking about a SIL\MIL issue