Was I chatted up or was it a scam of some kind?

[username23894uq3944]

This has been on my mind since it happened and I need to know what other people think.

I went for a walk on the beach the other day. As I was standing looking out at the sea, I noticed a young man smile at me. I’m in my mid-50s and he looked mid to late 30s. As he walked away with his friend, he looked back over his shoulder at me.

My husband was some distance away, taking photos, so I appeared to be alone. Several minutes later, the man was back, but this time he came up to me and commented on the view. I replied and then he asked me if I was from the area. We ended up chatting for several minutes, whilst his friend sat on a bench nearby, busy on his phone. He was Italian, but had lived in the UK for several years. It definitely felt like he wanted to get to know me, but I felt so confused. As I say, I’m mid-50s, long married, and was wrapped up in a thick coat and woolly hat. This kind of thing doesn’t happen to me anymore!

After a while, I said I needed to get back to my husband and gestured to where DH was standing, some distance away. We said goodbye amicably and I returned to DH.

Later, I mentioned it to a friend and she asked if I’d been pickpocketed. I said no, I hadn’t had any cash /cards on me and, anyway, he hadn’t been standing near enough. But then it set me wondering if it was a scam of some kind and I felt a bit silly to even consider he could have been interested in me. I look OK for my age, but I certainly don't look 30-something!

What do you think?

Visa hunting, fake italian, after a free lunch---- you lot are bonkers

Can't believe some of the comments on this thread, I frequently chat to people when I am out and about .. as does my 88 year old DM, in no way do we think we are being 'chatted up' or 'scammed' ..
Surely it's just people being friendly and .... chatty .

@WorraLiberty - yes, it's a valid contribution, of course, but , for what it's worth, I don't think I'm overthinking. It was an unusual encounter and I simply wanted to make sense of it and thought other perspectives might help.

For those saying it was just someone being friendly and chatty, I am very much like that myself in the right circumstances. So it's not as if I'm against friendly chat with strangers. It was the singling out that made me feel unsettled.

I think the OP and women in general are well aware of the difference between friendly chit chat from strangers and 'chatting up' or pick up lines. I don't know why people are being obtuse on this matter.

I'd say he was chatting you up and his friend gave you both space so you didn't feel intimidated by two men approaching you 🤷‍♀️

Exactly, FKATondelayo.

And, Babyvenusplant, it would be nice to think this, rather than the less attractive scenarios.

Reminds me of the sketch by Amy Schumer, which applies to actresses, but could just as easily apply to anyone.

Maybe it was my last fuckable day .

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair. All the many many women who have been raped by a "friendly chatty man" do indeed lead a sad life,because women like you tend to side with the man and think,it wad the womans fault.

[quote Thatldo]@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair. All the many many women who have been raped by a "friendly chatty man" do indeed lead a sad life,because women like you tend to side with the man and think,it wad the womans fault.[/quote]
Yeah, right, youve got me

What a stupid, stupid post

@WheelieBinPrincess Yeah I thought that was pretty naive as soon as a wrote it.

[quote Thatldo]@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair. All the many many women who have been raped by a "friendly chatty man" do indeed lead a sad life,because women like you tend to side with the man and think,it wad the womans fault.[/quote]
Oh, for god’s sake, don’t be so stupid and dramatic.

This thread is totally absurd and it’s no wonder people sneer at MN when they read the total bollocks posted on here.

It’s fine to be wary of strange men approaching you. It’s fine to question their motives in a non-paranoid weirdo kind of way. It’s not fine to randomly decide that they are people traffickers, visa demanders, scammers or rapists just because they spoke to you specifically.

And the posters claiming that they would tell any man trying to speak to them to fuck off sound deranged.

Honestly I’d just assume he was being chatty/mildly flirty. He probably wasn’t trying to get in your knickers, just enjoying the moment.

I think your friend is being a killjoy and may be a tiny bit jealous, but you do have to prefer the simplest explanation in life, and that’s that he saw an attractive woman and wanted to connect, not that it’s a scam or a therapy session.

If I were in OP's place, I would be analysing this incident as well. In my experience, 30 something men are just not interested to talk to you unless you are stunning in looks( no matter what age), are part of a popular and outgoing couple, are in a managerial ranking ( if they know you at work). They are more than happy to treat you like part of furniture if you are none of the above. Like OP said, this sort of thing just never happens. It's sad to think we are made to feel this way. I am a perfectly friendly and funny person, who would've loved to have a banter with lads at work, but they were just not interested.

I also believe your friend is jealous.

The opinions on this thread are interesting though. Some saying that men that age aren’t interested to talking to older women and those saying they would tell them to fuck off - which may explain why!