What do you think of this dating profile wording?

[BlueBlazerBlack123]

Okay I'm being honest because I'm 39 not 25. I want to build a slow and steady relationship. I'm too old and too intolerant for FWB or bullshit. If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.

I don't have or want children and I've zero interest in them. That's my 75% chance of dying alone probably. Oh well! Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed. But if you're the right one I'd rather share a bag of chips with you than eat lobster with a twat.

What you see is what you get. Peace ✌

It's atrocious!!! You sound so aggressive.

It’s very defensive somehow. Where is your vulnerability?

Wtf, please tell me you haven't used this? It will frighten them off!

“Rigorously honest and authentic, I’m pushing 40 and would love to share the next 40 years with someone with the same values. I’m happy in my own skin, and prefer chips on the beach to the pointlessly swanky. Children are ok but for me, well I couldn’t eat a whole one.

If you know what you’re at, and what you want, bring a chip fork and I’ll let you have a dip of my mushy peas.”

I think it's fine & it would weed out the dickheads who don't see women as real people.

You’ve just given a bloke carte Blanche to buy you a bag of chips off the market for a first date with that one @Dogfacepacer

I feel like theres a bit of a fixation on chips 😂 it was obviously only meant as a way to illustrate that OP would rather share something cheap with someone special than something expensive with someone crap, not that she just wants to be bought chips

It’s just a literary device. Presumably she can speak to people beforehand…

@Dogfacepacer

Where is your vulnerability? Why does the OP have to discuss her vulnerability?

Depressing

@HobgoblinGold - ok instead of vulnerability, how about softness? She’s looking for someone to share her life, soul, heart. So show a tiny bit of these. A partner is meant to be a soft place to fall, not a concrete block reinforced with rusty wire!

@Dogfacepacer

Correct me if I'm wrong - but vulnerability? Softness! My knickers are in a feminist twist with this? Have I read this wrong? Would you say this if a man wrote it? If so - apologies and ill get the JCB to get my panties out my ass 😁

For me - nah... I'd rather everything out there... She said she liked walks - couldn't that be classed as soft? Down with nature and all that?

@OnlyClothes

I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who is looking for the same.

I would love to find a man who rates humour, honesty, loyalty and independence as highly as I do.

I’m fairly sure I don’t want any children, and I’m looking for someone with similar views.

I enjoy running (and even more so since I managed to stop smoking last year!)

I’d love to share a bag of chips with you and argue about which Ricky Gervais character is funniest, discuss where the best rock climbing is, all topped off with a fine wine perhaps?

All basically what you said but much more palatable. Online dating is TOUGH, no need to make it tougher for yourself!

You have totally nailed it @OnlyClothes

I really love it and other posters' rewrites have been abominable (especially the one spattered with cutesy exclamation marks!!!). You sound honest, normal, grounded and sane. And intelligent.

You don't sound aggressive at all. You sound fantastic.

No, that's shit. Why tone down the OP's zero interest in children to "I’m fairly sure I don’t want any children"? It changes the meaning significantly.

@HobgoblinGold my feminism game is strong, don’t worry - and I wasn’t saying it meaning that women should be soft and fluffy and naice - just that the wording of the OP needs some of the hardness removing, IMO.

I think the OP sounds like a great person. I’d be her mate. But OLD is a selling game, however uncomfortable that might make us feel. So it’s a matter of accentuating the positive attractive qualities and retaining authenticity without coming off as being someone who is defensive and hard work.

I get what you are trying to do OP ward off the dick heads but I found with OLD and just men generally the dick heads will be sick heads regardless of anything you say if anything they can see women as a challenge . The right guy doesn’t need to be told how to treat you if that makes sense

The re write a pp did sounds perfect

Sick heads 😂 I meant dick heads

I generally like it OP! You're honest and very clear about what you do and don't want and your personality comes through. I don't think it reads as a 'no drama' type profile at all - you do talk a lot about what you want in a positive way. The tone might not be for everyone, but if it helps weed out the many dick heads on OLD (particularly the ones who think a woman who's not a submissive pushover is 'too much hard work'), then that's no bad thing. A bit at the number of posters who think it's 'too aggressive' tbh ...

I'd reword the second paragraph - take out the bits about 'dying alone' (seems defensive/unnecessary) and clarify 'zero interest' in kids. If the latter means you don't want to date someone with children then just say that. If someone with older or adult children is ok then say that too. I'd also take out the 'peace, what you see is what you get' line as it's a bit of a cliche.

Good luck!

@Dogfacepacer

“Rigorously honest and authentic, I’m pushing 40 and would love to share the next 40 years with someone with the same values. I’m happy in my own skin, and prefer chips on the beach to the pointlessly swanky. Children are ok but for me, well I couldn’t eat a whole one.

If you know what you’re at, and what you want, bring a chip fork and I’ll let you have a dip of my mushy peas.”

A dip of my mushy peas???

@Dogfacepacer

“Rigorously honest and authentic, I’m pushing 40 and would love to share the next 40 years with someone with the same values. I’m happy in my own skin, and prefer chips on the beach to the pointlessly swanky. Children are ok but for me, well I couldn’t eat a whole one.

If you know what you’re at, and what you want, bring a chip fork and I’ll let you have a dip of my mushy peas.”

Where's Ricky Gervais, fine wine and the OP's sense of humour gone?

Rigourously sounds like an unfortunate double entendre and mushy peas?!! Just no!!

None of these reworded ones are an improvement. They've all made the OP sound more bland, more passive, less funny and more appealling to dickheads who want someone they can push around iMO.

“If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.”

You might as well have said fuck off 🤣

I have actually seen male profiles that tell certain type of women to 'fuck off'. Delightful.

I am always wondering, why so many people have to go on dating sites now. is it not possible to meet a person in real life; as like the oldie days,before dating sites existed.. It would seem like looking through a catalogue,and seeing if there is anything you fancied, and you get all the gen about the products etc. But if you buy something from a catalogue,and you dont like it, you can send it back.. but I suppose you can do this with dating sites,if you don't fancy a certain person, you can easily get rid of whoever.and kind of send them packing.

Do you want a date or a fight club ?