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Original poster

What do you think of this dating profile wording?

120 replies

BlueBlazerBlack123 · 02/01/2022 21:44

Okay I'm being honest because I'm 39 not 25. I want to build a slow and steady relationship. I'm too old and too intolerant for FWB or bullshit. If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.

I don't have or want children and I've zero interest in them. That's my 75% chance of dying alone probably. Oh well! Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed. But if you're the right one I'd rather share a bag of chips with you than eat lobster with a twat.

What you see is what you get. Peace ✌

OP posts:
givethatbabyaname · 02/01/2022 23:01

You’re asking a bunch of women?!

Grin
crochetmonkey74 · 02/01/2022 23:04

@givethatbabyaname

You’re asking a bunch of women?!

Grin

I asked my female friends in real life to help me write mine, pretty common to ask for help and advice!
ClaudiaJ1 · 02/01/2022 23:06

Quite defensive and anti-social.

ShowOfHands · 02/01/2022 23:07

I find it peculiar when people specifically say "no bullshit" or "I want somebody honest". Well yes quite. Much like "no drama" or "I am what I am, what you see is what you get". It's all just generic dating profile filler. I think most people can reasonably assume you're not looking for a liar, bullshit, some drama, nor that you're a two-faced ne'er do well.

SarahDippity · 02/01/2022 23:08

Hope you tone down the aggro, OP! I really like the tone of @OnlyClothes version. It’s good to state your likes and intentions but keep the tone neutral.

(It remind me (a lot) of the types of profiles some men put up where the words are loaded with hostility against some imaginary female persona out there that they’re determined to weed out: ‘I’ve worked hard to build a good career but gold diggers can jog on.’ ‘I enjoy a few quiet pints with mates or a bottle of wine with Netflix, so if you’re needy or a drama queen, don’t bother.’)

BurbageBrook · 02/01/2022 23:11

You want positive comments only in a dating profile. No criticisms or what you’re not looking for— talk about what you are looking for.

tara66 · 02/01/2022 23:14

Who said romance is dead?

crochetmonkey74 · 02/01/2022 23:16

@SarahDippity

Hope you tone down the aggro, OP! I really like the tone of *@OnlyClothes* version. It’s good to state your likes and intentions but keep the tone neutral.

(It remind me (a lot) of the types of profiles some men put up where the words are loaded with hostility against some imaginary female persona out there that they’re determined to weed out: ‘I’ve worked hard to build a good career but gold diggers can jog on.’ ‘I enjoy a few quiet pints with mates or a bottle of wine with Netflix, so if you’re needy or a drama queen, don’t bother.’)

Yes ! Totally agree , my personal favourite was "princesses need not apply"
liveforsummer · 02/01/2022 23:18

I'd have swiped left before finishing the 2nd sentence- sorry

Iamabitstinky · 02/01/2022 23:22

I’m going to put it out there and say if this is the real you, go with it and you will attract the right person. Absolutely no point in toning down who you are! If you do that you will come as a bit of a shock on a date! The right man will take you exactly how you are. Do you and be proud. The ‘lobster with a twat’ but made me laugh out loud! Good luck!

Thatsplentyjack · 02/01/2022 23:26

It sounds a bit....defeatist. I can't really describe it, but it's a bit like you are trying to put the reader off.

mrsausten · 02/01/2022 23:26

I read it out to my DH and he said he would (I'm assuming before he married me hopefully - or that's a whole other thread!) that he would have responded to that profile - I hope it goes well for you

RachAnneKirl90 · 02/01/2022 23:26

This sounds like the person has been bitten hard by life. But - it is refreshingly honest!
I would tone down that first sentence which makes you sound exasperated and inflexible.
I would replace the word "twat" from the piece. I see it used on this website all the time. There will be many lovely men in the real world repelled by that word. "Cunt" and "twat" are words that should be used sparingly if ever. I am obviously not in your world though.
Good luck!

HalfTermHalfTerm · 02/01/2022 23:27

I don't have or want children and I've zero interest in them.

I completely understand why you’ve included that you don’t have or want children, but I’m not sure what the purpose of the second part of this is. Is it just to essentially say that you don’t want to be a step mother, so any men who have existing children need not apply?

If I were a man who had a close relationship with nieces, nephews, godchildren etc that would really put me off too. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t like children, so you might put off some nice men with that.

I think the ‘peace’ sounds really aggressive too. Sorry!

LouLou789 · 02/01/2022 23:30

I like how direct you are and (TBH) good for you to say how you feel about kids. Maybe soften the opening para?

I met DH online. My profile blurb specified “no wimps or halfwits” His said “If you are looking for someone with a load of money then do not bother” 15 years one we are still v v happy together. I love honesty.

NoNameHere12 · 02/01/2022 23:32

I’d date you if I was a guy!

That’s pretty much how I’d put my profile, so the replies are very interesting!! I think I’m funny but I’m obviously a bit over kill-no wonder I find it hard to make new friends! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Look on the bright side, you have to soften up a dating profile, I need to soften up my whole personality! Damn it!!

Good luck op

stillvicarinatutu · 02/01/2022 23:38

I'd rethink . I'm online and I'm 49.

My profile is short and sweet. But not hostile . Yours is hostile. When I've read mens hostile or combative profiles I've swiped on .
I've done that and don't want someone challenging . I want to get on with a date .

Clymene · 02/01/2022 23:40

@Cocomarine

Right, not saying this is perfect, but taking out the aggression, and putting the positive first (what I want before what I don’t want) I would start with this, and improve on it!

**
I’m often told I’m blunt… but at 39, I know what I want and I’m looking for someone who’s also clear in what they want. That will be dating with a view to finding a relationship - I’m not interested in FWB type situations, but good luck to those of you that are!

Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed.

At my age, the children question is always floating around - and I said I’m blunt: I don’t have any, or want any, and I’m looking for someone in the same position.

So if you’re child-free and your ideal date is cracking The Office jokes 10m up a climbing wall before a chat over a glass of decent wine, we might find we get on.

This is miles better
stillvicarinatutu · 02/01/2022 23:44

Oh and try bumble . Women are in charge there - men can't message you- you initiate any contact .
After 2 long years online I've just had my first date of many with man I really like .
Third date on weds . !

SleepingStandingUp · 02/01/2022 23:51

I think it depends what kind of man you're hoping to attract. It's v combative and defensive, but it'll certainly sort the wheat from the chaff

kittensinthekitchen · 03/01/2022 00:12

Well

I kind of liked it, so if you're into women at all.... Wink

HobgoblinGold · 03/01/2022 00:16

@BlueBlazerBlack123

You sound like my kinda gal tbh. I would much prefer honest and up front than all polite with stuff coming out later. I would stick with what you've write tbh, someone will ‘get it’. I know I would.

eeek88 · 03/01/2022 00:17

@BlueBlazerBlack123

Okay I'm being honest because I'm 39 not 25. I want to build a slow and steady relationship. I'm too old and too intolerant for FWB or bullshit. If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.

I don't have or want children and I've zero interest in them. That's my 75% chance of dying alone probably. Oh well! Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed. But if you're the right one I'd rather share a bag of chips with you than eat lobster with a twat.

What you see is what you get. Peace ✌

I’d start with your interests / the bits that would appeal to the sort of person you want to meet, and tone down the bolshiness a bit.

How about:

  • I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed. But if you're the right one I'd rather share a bag of chips with you than eat lobster with a twat.

[maybe a bit more on what makes you tick - favourite books, films, places, modes of transport, anything positive]

I'm being honest because I'm 39 not 25. I want to build a slow and steady relationship. I'm too old for FWB or bullshit. If you're a "don't know what I want” man, please decide what you want before contacting me.

I don't have or want children and I've zero interest in them. That's my 75% chance of dying alone probably. Oh well! Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

What you see is what you get. Peace ✌*

SpankyPankhurst · 03/01/2022 00:22

I like it.

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 03/01/2022 00:26

I'd date you, but I'm the wrong sex!

I don't know how it would read to a man.

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