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Original poster

What do you think of this dating profile wording?

120 replies

BlueBlazerBlack123 · 02/01/2022 21:44

Okay I'm being honest because I'm 39 not 25. I want to build a slow and steady relationship. I'm too old and too intolerant for FWB or bullshit. If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.

I don't have or want children and I've zero interest in them. That's my 75% chance of dying alone probably. Oh well! Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed. But if you're the right one I'd rather share a bag of chips with you than eat lobster with a twat.

What you see is what you get. Peace ✌

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 02/01/2022 22:15

@christmascharade

Be exactly who you are. If it frightens a lot of men off, good! You want one who suits you. You don't want to appeal to the most men possible by pretending to be someone you're not as then you'll have to wade through a load of bullshit with unsuitable men.

Having said that, please can I offer the following edit to make you not sound a. Depressed b. a bit of a dick.

I'm being honest because I'm 39 not 25. I want to build a slow and steady relationship. I'm too old for FWB or bullshit. If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.

I don't have or want children and I've zero interest in them. Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed. But if you're the right one I'd rather share a bag of chips with you than eat lobster with a twat.

What you see is what you get. Peace ✌

Noooo this is still awful!
RunningFromInsanity · 02/01/2022 22:15

I would take out
If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.
That's my 75% chance of dying alone probably.
with a twat.

The rest is fine and will appeal to someone who is a good match for you.

Cocomarine · 02/01/2022 22:20

I like the things you’re into, but I’m with everyone else… what you think is honest and upfront is actually just coming across as aggressive!

“If you're a "don't know what I want" man - good luck but off you go.”

You might as well have said fuck off 🤣
I like the “good luck” bit though.

Keep the bits that are about you, and lose the aggression.

TowandaForever · 02/01/2022 22:22

@OnlyClothes

I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who is looking for the same.

I would love to find a man who rates humour, honesty, loyalty and independence as highly as I do.

I’m fairly sure I don’t want any children, and I’m looking for someone with similar views.

I enjoy running (and even more so since I managed to stop smoking last year!)

I’d love to share a bag of chips with you and argue about which Ricky Gervais character is funniest, discuss where the best rock climbing is, all topped off with a fine wine perhaps?

All basically what you said but much more palatable. Online dating is TOUGH, no need to make it tougher for yourself!

I think you re wrote that really well. Wish I had your skills !
TerraNovaTwo · 02/01/2022 22:22

Christ almighty! 😂😂

Somuddled · 02/01/2022 22:24

@OnlyClothes

I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who is looking for the same.

I would love to find a man who rates humour, honesty, loyalty and independence as highly as I do.

I’m fairly sure I don’t want any children, and I’m looking for someone with similar views.

I enjoy running (and even more so since I managed to stop smoking last year!)

I’d love to share a bag of chips with you and argue about which Ricky Gervais character is funniest, discuss where the best rock climbing is, all topped off with a fine wine perhaps?

All basically what you said but much more palatable. Online dating is TOUGH, no need to make it tougher for yourself!

Much better! First one was so aggressive, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone so grumpy never mind date them.
maffhew · 02/01/2022 22:28

It's all about what you don't like, so I'd think you're a very negative person and swipe on by.

CrispAndFrosty · 02/01/2022 22:31

I love the bag of chips/lobster with a twat line. You don't come across to me as aggressive, just forthright and no-nonsense. Like you say, you're 39, you know who you are and you want someone who appreciates that. It's not as if you have a long list of requirements other than that. I'd more happily respond to something like this than something which laid out a detailed job spec. And you're certainly not bland!

Obviously I'm not your target audience though, presumably none of us are, so take everything we say with a pinch of salt!

Cocomarine · 02/01/2022 22:32

Right, not saying this is perfect, but taking out the aggression, and putting the positive first (what I want before what I don’t want) I would start with this, and improve on it!

**
I’m often told I’m blunt… but at 39, I know what I want and I’m looking for someone who’s also clear in what they want. That will be dating with a view to finding a relationship - I’m not interested in FWB type situations, but good luck to those of you that are!

Independent, loyal, humourous and honest is what I am and what I want.

I like rock climbing, running, Ricky Gervais humour and fine wine. Quit smoking a year ago. I don't care about politics, religion or whether or not you're jabbed.

At my age, the children question is always floating around - and I said I’m blunt: I don’t have any, or want any, and I’m looking for someone in the same position.

So if you’re child-free and your ideal date is cracking The Office jokes 10m up a climbing wall before a chat over a glass of decent wine, we might find we get on.

TrickyD · 02/01/2022 22:33

@ShirleyPhallus

I’d run a mile too

It’s very “what you see is what you get, I’m just honest me, I tell it like it is, if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best”

Ie all said by people who are totally insufferable arseholes

And who have been educated at ‘The University of Life’. Thick twats.
FunkyPhantom · 02/01/2022 22:36

I think it's spot on 👍

You'd certainly sort the men from the boys with that, those with a Ricky Gervais/Frankie Boyle sense of humour anyway 😆

christmascharade · 02/01/2022 22:37

@OnlyClothes

I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who is looking for the same.

I would love to find a man who rates humour, honesty, loyalty and independence as highly as I do.

I’m fairly sure I don’t want any children, and I’m looking for someone with similar views.

I enjoy running (and even more so since I managed to stop smoking last year!)

I’d love to share a bag of chips with you and argue about which Ricky Gervais character is funniest, discuss where the best rock climbing is, all topped off with a fine wine perhaps?

All basically what you said but much more palatable. Online dating is TOUGH, no need to make it tougher for yourself!

Nah, you've taken the OP's personality out of it.

I hate this.

It may well be more popular, but with people who would be a good match for someone who wants to hide their personality, and that doesn't sound like the OP to me.

5thHelena · 02/01/2022 22:38

Tbh you don't sound humourous you sound terrifying!

WheelieBinPrincess · 02/01/2022 22:40

You don’t have to put all your personality out on the blurb though do you @christmascharade. I see what you’re saying but the point is to get talking to someone you click with and date. Why would I want to share all my wants and dislikes and personality for the entire site to look at?

I did actually meet my husband via online dating so I’m not clueless.

christmascharade · 02/01/2022 22:41

I’d love to share a bag of chips with you and argue about which Ricky Gervais character is funniest, discuss where the best rock climbing is, all topped off with a fine wine perhaps?

I especially hate this. It's so passive, FFS.

Cas112 · 02/01/2022 22:41

It's just seems so aggressive, like your angry or something 😂

user1471604848 · 02/01/2022 22:42

It sounds very aggressive. You mentioned you're humorous - that certainly doesn't come across, with mentioning your death and all the negative things you don't want.

It comes across as very heavy and serious - not like someone you could have fun over a glass of wine with.

Why do you mention you've given up smoking?

I can't even imagine the type of guys this ad would attract.

Cocomarine · 02/01/2022 22:43

@christmascharade

I’d love to share a bag of chips with you and argue about which Ricky Gervais character is funniest, discuss where the best rock climbing is, all topped off with a fine wine perhaps?

I especially hate this. It's so passive, FFS.

I agree. I don’t think OP was even saying that she particularly liked chips! Just that chips with someone lovely beats lobster with someone who’s not! In fact, from the fine wine comment I actually assumed OP would actually opt for lobster with her lobster, than chips with them 😉
StillSmallVoice · 02/01/2022 22:45

I had a profile which was very honest and straightforward. I didn't go on many dates as a result. I married the first one I met and have been happy for many years.

I wasn't interested in dating just anyone, was a bit wary, and not sure whether I wanted to date at all.

Something like your suggested profile will put a lot of people off, but those it doesn't may well be better suited to you.

crochetmonkey74 · 02/01/2022 22:47

@OnlyClothes

I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who is looking for the same.

I would love to find a man who rates humour, honesty, loyalty and independence as highly as I do.

I’m fairly sure I don’t want any children, and I’m looking for someone with similar views.

I enjoy running (and even more so since I managed to stop smoking last year!)

I’d love to share a bag of chips with you and argue about which Ricky Gervais character is funniest, discuss where the best rock climbing is, all topped off with a fine wine perhaps?

All basically what you said but much more palatable. Online dating is TOUGH, no need to make it tougher for yourself!

This is great. Try Hinge OP, it worked for me!
Cocomarine · 02/01/2022 22:48

I definitely agree about not losing one’s personality… but I actually doubt that OP is aggressive like this, I doubt it’s her actually personality showing through here. Sounds like she’s really defensive about dating being beset with wankers (it is!) and that’s coming across more strongly than a natural bluntness (that’s assertive not aggressive) and humour.

Give the reader a chance to see your interests, they’re lost in the “jokes” about dying alone!

emsmar · 02/01/2022 22:51

"Peace ✌🏼"

😂

MimosaFields · 02/01/2022 22:53

It comes across as too aggressive but the good thing about most OLD profiles is that you can change them as often as you wish. I'm always fine tuning mine or adding new stuff. Try and see! You might be lucky and meet someone straightway who gets attracted to your style

WheelieBinPrincess · 02/01/2022 22:54

Peace sounds particularly passive aggressive, I’m not sure why.

RAOK · 02/01/2022 22:56

It’s truly awful! You won’t get many (any?) matches.

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