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For those in their 40s and 50s

125 replies

Fatandfifty49 · 28/12/2021 22:48

Do you miss being younger (ie late teens, twenties) or do you embrace middle age?

What do you miss about your twenties and what do you enjoy about being older?

I miss the spontaneity you have when you are young, the exuberance because every experience is exciting and new and the bravado.

I didn't like the insecurity and worrying about what people thought or the poor sense of judgement I had - especially re friendships and men.

I love having the experience behind me and being past caring and the confidence that comes from it. I don’t like that the best years ard behind me or the signs of advancing age plus all the extra stresses such as elderly parents

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 28/12/2021 23:55

I think I’m much better at being middle aged than I was at being young.
I don’t like the triad of hormones, teens and ageing parents 😱.

Pinkchocolate · 29/12/2021 00:00

I miss my figure and I miss not having responsibility, being able to go out without my phone.
Apart from that I am (in my early forties) now not riddled with insecurities, I know exactly where my life is going, I couldn’t care less what people think and I have stability in every area of my life. Im definitely much happier than I was in my twenties.

curlymom · 29/12/2021 00:06

Early fifties and miss having joints that didn’t hurt all day. Also miss good health in general, husband has cancer 😔
But I do like the success we made of our children and the house we own.

godmum56 · 29/12/2021 00:09

@TrashyPanda

I miss the way my body worked. I miss having the person I shared so many memories with in my life

I don’t miss thinking I had to be able to do everything
I don’t miss feeling a failure

This especially missing my husband who died 10 years ago. But i do not miss menstruation, having to work for a living (retired now) and like Pam Ayres, I wish I'd looked after me teeth. Dental knowledge care and technology has come on by leaps and bounds, all my life I've done my best but it wasn't good enough....as well as wear sunscreen, If I was Baz Lurhman, I'd say use interdental brushes or at least floss.
Kite22 · 29/12/2021 00:10

I don't feel that my best years are behind me - I'm looking forward to the years ahead - but I do look back on those late teens and 20s years with great fondness and I'm very glad I had the experiences that I had.

FlyingPandas has put it so much better than I could.

Ticksallboxes · 29/12/2021 00:12

I wish I'd had my 40's mindset/confidence in my 20s body...

This! But it will never happen - as they say 'Youth is wasted on the Young'...

I had a lovely time in my youth but that's behind me now, and the fundamental thing I've taken from that is that putting yourself last leads to contentment and putting yourself first results in endless disappointment!

Thickasmincepie · 29/12/2021 00:19

Early 40s. If I die in my 80s, like the rest of my family, I am middle aged.

I miss the thrill of going out on the pull in my early 20s. But I don't miss the loneliness at times.

Boobs are now smaller, but body looks v good. Just a few niggles in the cold.

I look my age, but I can look good with makeup.

I have a better social life than my 20s and have had some cracking holidays with mates.

I'd like to be 20, with the knowledge and confidence I have now, just to see. But my choices have led me here, so I'm happy.

CreativeData · 29/12/2021 00:30

Don't miss it at all.
I made the most of my younger years working abroad, travelling, experimenting, partying (right up to mid-40's) so now I enjoy a quieter life.
I love being settled now (in my 50's) after so much uncertainty in my 20's, 30's and 40's.
I don't feel I missed out on anything as I feel I tried every sort of lifestyle, job and boyfriend!

Ticksallboxes · 29/12/2021 00:37

A male friend who has just turned 60 recently posted a photo on Facebook of him at a Fat Boy Slim concert. He had about 50 replies from people of a similar age who also went.

The ticket prices were astronomical though, and I do wonder if it's the middle aged, more financially secure people who are really the only ones who can enjoy these things, as high rents/mortgages mean younger people just have to content themselves with Netflix and Amazon Prime etc.

LandGirlJudy · 29/12/2021 00:38

@Gormless

I miss having a fit, healthy body that would do almost whatever I asked of it. I also miss the UK of ten years ago: remember 2012, and the Olympics, when we felt good about ourselves?
If you're in your 40s/50s how would you be teen/20s ten years ago? Which is what this thread is about
LandGirlJudy · 29/12/2021 00:39

I miss my thin body, my energy and my back not hurting

RiverSkater · 29/12/2021 00:41

I miss the pain free slim self that I was and my defined jaw line.

Don't miss the chronic lack of self esteem or the worry I'd never have children as I was chronically virginal until late 20s and then usually single....

I love love love being a mum.

Still worry about money though.

bookworm1982 · 29/12/2021 00:54

This thread has made me feel really depressed about turning 40 next year Sad

RedSquirrel111 · 29/12/2021 00:57

I honestly don't feel an iota of difference being 42 to 22. I think that's mainly because I was born without a -responsibilty- worry gene.
I'm still the same size, although face may tell a different story Grin
Thankfully no health issues. Just feel exactly the same

blueshoes · 29/12/2021 01:09

I am the sensible sort. Studied hard, good grades, good professional job, kept working pt even after children, now working ft, went for promotions, great salary increase, big house and mortgage, now paid off. Pensions, savings, investments. No big holidays or spending other than than the house and private schooling.

I am in my early 50s and so glad all that is behind me. I love it that I have just about to achieve my financial goals and any extra will go to the dcs to give them a leg up in life.

I would not want to go back to myself more attractive self in my twenties and thirties to the stress of exams, uncertainty of finding a life partner, pregnancy, children, career (and a few blips along the way) and worrying about being able to afford the right house. Been there, done that. Don't miss any of it.

I am about to close the first half of my life and getting ready to downshift slowly into retirement. This is how I planned it and it has come to fruition.

PrancingQueen · 29/12/2021 01:25

Age 53.
I wish I hadn’t wasted my twenties through to mid thirties on 2 bad relationships. I didn’t appreciate the body I had then!
But I partied hard, went to raves, travelled and established a career in my early 30s.
I’m now a single parent to DS who I had at 44 and enjoy life very much. I’m fortunate to have good friends and an active social life.

Beecham · 29/12/2021 01:32

I miss thrill of going out and just knowing I looked stunning. Gives you an amazing sense of confidence!

But agree there are many many plus points about getting older too

Ohdofuckofdear · 29/12/2021 01:33

I miss my parents, they were still with us then,the 1 thing I'd do differently would be to spend more time with them.

I'm Ill and disabled now but so much more confident than I ever was in my 20s and I have a really lovely DH,(I was with my ex husband in my 20s and he was a nasty sod)5 barmy DC that I love very much and we have the most gorgeous little Grandson,so despite my health and missing my parents my 40s is the happiest I've ever been.

aurynne · 29/12/2021 01:47

I am loving my 40s as much as I loved my 20s! My body has not changed, I have no aches and pains and am very fit, I have loads of old and new friends and I am as energetic as I used to be. Loving where I live, my job and my freedom (separated, no kids).

I don't really miss anything from the past, I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s but as I am enjoying my 40s too there are no regrets and no "missing" anything. I can have anything now that I had back then if I wanted it.

lotusgirl909 · 29/12/2021 01:48

I miss raving

Lampzade · 29/12/2021 01:56

@CatherinedeBourgh

I don’t miss anything. I’m happier and more comfortable with myself every year.

I find not being young any more incredibly liberating. I don’t have to …insert thing of choice here…any more, I’m past that!

This
Blossom64265 · 29/12/2021 02:00

I love being in my 40s. I’m so much happier because I accept who I am.

I didn’t really do the healthy 20s, since I spent a good portion of them battling cancer.

Yuledo · 29/12/2021 09:10

I look back and I had a great life but I’m also loving the lack of responsibility now the kids are young adults. Covid is a bugger. Experiences, weekends away and holidays that are now financially viable, have been somewhat scuppered for the time being.

I still feel exactly the same but I just don’t have as much energy.

SirChenjins · 29/12/2021 09:19

I miss the energy I had, the excitement of all the new experiences and of falling in love, the freedom, the crippling anxiety and MH issues brought on by the menopause. Now I’m just on a hamster wheel of work/family/house stuff and it’s been a tough couple of years with health things, a horrible family bereavement with the police involved, other family things and covid. I have noticed a massive difference between my 40s and 50s - I feel a lot older in those 10 years for some reason.

Otoh, I enjoy the financial freedom, the peace that being settled in my family, relationship and friendships brings, not constantly comparing myself to others, that kind of thing.

HappyGreen · 29/12/2021 09:19

I miss raving

Me too. Dancing all night, the music, the energy and sheer debauchery of my youth and none of it recorded Wink.
Good Times

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