Do you say 'Mum', or 'my mum', when speaking to a non-family member?

[EinsteinaGogo]

Inspired by a recent thread where the poster typed 'mum said XXX, dad said YYY', mum did XXZ, dad did YYY, all the way through a really, really long thread.

I've always said 'my mum, my dad' unless speaking to my brother or sister, because of course - my mum isn't your mum and I want to differentiate!

Sweeping generalisation but I have found that people who don't do this tend to be very insular / self focused. Stop saying 'mum' to me - it's not my mum!

How do you refer to your parent outside of family?
'

@HeronLanyon I was involved in a family law case a few years ago fighting for custody over my children. I was referred to as 'the mother' throughout the proceedings, whereas my ex was referred to affectionately as 'Dad'.

They do this in an educational setting too. Rather than saying his / her mum.
Eg mum has been notified/ dad send an email about it/ we're having a meeting worth mum later. I find it odd too.

I would say 'my mother' or use her first name - I am in my 60s and referring to my 89 year old DM as 'mum' or 'mummy' sounds bonkers ... .

Generally say Mum when talking to people who know her (in same way I’d say John not my friend John to someone who knew him) but My Mum initially otherwise, though might switch in rest of conversation. It’s difference between using name and description.

This annoys me, I say "my mum". My mums new husband (who I met when I was 25) has a habit of referring to my mum as "mum" which really annoys me for some reason. I think it's because it feels like he's trying to be a parent but I was a grown adult when we met.

I say ‘my mum’ to anyone who isn’t a family member. As others have said, it’s weird when someone else just says ‘mum’ - she’s not my mum

@Redcrayons

My mum. She’s only ‘mum’ when talking to another family member. And in true northern style I also refer to my siblings as ‘our + their name’.

Same here. I remember as a teenager younger siblings were known as 'our baby' even if they were at school!

I agree with you OP

But the person in the post could have just been trying to shorten it eg in a post I might say "baby" rather than the baby or my baby or my son or my daughter

My mummy or my daddy

Dh calls his mum, dad

Im trying to get him to make sure he calls me mummy to our DD. Its just what I always want to be called by our DC 😊

Both? The first time I bring her up I’ll say “my mum”, but then after that I’ll say “mum”

Yes, I'd do this, especially if it was a long story I was telling.

I don’t mind it when the person is quite obviously talking about their own mother.

What I really hated was when nurses/social workers, etc. referred to my elderly mother as ‘mum’ when speaking to me, over her head. Not even ‘your mum’ or ‘your mother’. So bloody rude and patronising. She had dementia but was still aware of it, and hated it likewise.

We had never called her ‘mum’ anyway!

Presumably they think it sounds ‘cosy’ or something, but to me it’s just plain rude and disrespectful. Why can they not use a person’s name?

I say my mum. Find it so strange when people don't!

I always say ‘my mum’.

On a similar note, it really annoys me when people are telling stories and just mention people by name and expect you to know who they are and what their relevance to the story is.

E.g. “I was at mum’s and then Sarah said she wouldn’t be going after all because Steven was going now and you know what it’s like with Steven and Alison.”

??

@RedskyThisNight

I'd say "my mother" rather than use "Mum" at all.

Ooh sorry

Being both Northern and common, I say "me mam" and "me dad". And when they're talking about each other to me, it's "yer mam/dad". I'm sure other people find me very annoying 🤷‍♀️

My.

But on MN I'd say DM or DF.

Agree OP.

My Mum. I'd only use Mum if I was talking about her to my Sister.

sugar that must have been awful !

Yup. Definitely ‘my Mum’ rather than ‘mum’ to all but siblings. My DH and his DB use ‘mum’ and I do find it a bit irritating but struggle to articulate why!

@HelloDulling - we're from London. She has lived in Scotland for many years, but I doubt this is less of an influence than the fact she's never forgiven me for being born and her no longer being an only child.

I’m from somewhere where you say “my mum” even to your siblings so I’d definitely say that to non-family members.

I say 'my'. I think people who don't use it are also more likely to say ....

If you've just had a baby.... how's mum doing (instead of how are you doing)
or
Refer to you as 'mum' to your pet. I did not give birth to a dog, I am not the dog's mum.

I am probably being judgemental.

alltheusernames that’s interesting! England here - if one of my siblings had ever said ‘my mum’ to me I’d have had a quick check of all of our birth certificates and looked for stash of deep family paperwork !

I do say 'my mam' to siblings as well as others. My siblings say 'my mam' to me.

For some reason it makes me cringe when people say 'mam/mum' without the 'my'.

Never thought about it.

I think I normally say "my mother"