Do you say 'Mum', or 'my mum', when speaking to a non-family member?

[EinsteinaGogo]

Inspired by a recent thread where the poster typed 'mum said XXX, dad said YYY', mum did XXZ, dad did YYY, all the way through a really, really long thread.

I've always said 'my mum, my dad' unless speaking to my brother or sister, because of course - my mum isn't your mum and I want to differentiate!

Sweeping generalisation but I have found that people who don't do this tend to be very insular / self focused. Stop saying 'mum' to me - it's not my mum!

How do you refer to your parent outside of family?
'

I don't think I've ever noticed this before. I'm not sure I'd draw any conclusion from it really. I guess it's just that they are using mum as a name rather than a title if you see what I mean.

Sally and I went to the cinema
Mum and I went to the cinema

They are using mum in place of a name. Whereas if they sad my mum it's more in place of a title

My friend and I went to the cinema
My mum and I went to the cinema

Other titles (such as sister) are not usually used interchangeably as a name so you would always use it as a title and put 'my' in front of it.

I wouldn't read into it that they are a self obsessed arsehole I think it's probably just rather a familiar way of speaking.

My mam or my dad, even when talking about them to my siblings.
Our [name of any other family member].

I say my mum and my dad, even when talking to my brother who has the same parents 🙈

@IKissedSantaClaus - that's a far more educated interpretation than mine which is based on instinct!

@ImStayingInside

I say my mum and my dad, even when talking to my brother who has the same parents 🙈

@ImStayingInside - is that a regional thing? Do your siblings do the same?

I would say "my" mum/dad etc. I've noticed it in Masterchef Australia, it must be their habit

I think I say my mum when talking to people who don't know her but Mum to people who do, even if they're not family.

In the say way that I'd say "my husband" or "my son" to someone who didn't know them, but use their names with someone who did.

I completely agree, the only person I’ve noticed who does this is a self centred misery

I always say "my." I think your theory about people who say, "Mum," is interesting! I find it cringeworthy when a woman I work with does it, but quite endearing when an old friend does it, so...

@Mumoblue

Both? The first time I bring her up I’ll say “my mum”, but then after that I’ll say “mum”.

I don’t think you can really draw any conclusions about people from whether or not they say “my” before “mum”.

This, I don't think you can make a sweeping generalisation on someone's personality just by the way they refer to a parent. Fwiw I use mum and dad in the same way I use dh's name.

I wouldn't say "My Fred" I'd just say "Fred"

I say 'my mum' because one time my best friend in y6 corrected me and said, 'you said mum. She isn't my mum too so you should say my mum instead of just mum.' Since then I've always said 'my mum.'😂

Interesting thread tho because my ex would always talk to his siblings and say stuff like 'is my mum home yet?' 'is my dad in the kitchen' and so forth. They all did it and all had the same mum and dad! I always used to say why the hell do you all act like you have separate parents and think it's just because they wanted to feel close to each parent

Omg I always thought I was the only person in the world who finds this annoying! My ex did this and I always thought it was odd and self centered, as if his mum and dad were everyone's mum and dad type thing!

My Mum.

If I’m talking to my brother I just say ‘Mum’!
I said ‘MY’ Mum to him once by mistake and he replied ‘Whose Mum? You mean MY Mum?’ 🤣

@IKissedSantaClaus

I don't think I've ever noticed this before. I'm not sure I'd draw any conclusion from it really. I guess it's just that they are using mum as a name rather than a title if you see what I mean.

Sally and I went to the cinema
Mum and I went to the cinema

They are using mum in place of a name. Whereas if they sad my mum it's more in place of a title

My friend and I went to the cinema
My mum and I went to the cinema

Other titles (such as sister) are not usually used interchangeably as a name so you would always use it as a title and put 'my' in front of it.

I wouldn't read into it that they are a self obsessed arsehole I think it's probably just rather a familiar way of speaking.

^ this ^

Depends on context here too, I'd say "my mum" (and it is always mum not mother, no one I know says mother) to friends, but if the conversation went on it might change to just mum. So I might say "I went to that cafe with my mum a while ago, it was really nice, mum bumped into someone she knew etc".

Always just mum with my own family, but my mum with DH's family.

I don't particularly notice what friends do to be honest.

@IKissedSantaClaus

I don't think I've ever noticed this before. I'm not sure I'd draw any conclusion from it really. I guess it's just that they are using mum as a name rather than a title if you see what I mean.

Sally and I went to the cinema
Mum and I went to the cinema

They are using mum in place of a name. Whereas if they sad my mum it's more in place of a title

My friend and I went to the cinema
My mum and I went to the cinema

Other titles (such as sister) are not usually used interchangeably as a name so you would always use it as a title and put 'my' in front of it.

I wouldn't read into it that they are a self obsessed arsehole I think it's probably just rather a familiar way of speaking.

I agree it can be about title or status, more than a specific relationship.

At the school where I currently work, there's a tendency for staff to refer to parents of pupils this way. E.g. I will be meeting with Mum tomorrow, so forward any comments on Joe's progress / Please seat Emily near the front, as Dad has informed us of...

@Duckerbizzle

Omg I always thought I was the only person in the world who finds this annoying! My ex did this and I always thought it was odd and self centered, as if his mum and dad were everyone's mum and dad type thing!

We can form a club , @Duckerbizzle !!

My daughter says mum when talking to my husband or other friends or family members who know me, anyone else it’s my mum

'My mum'

I hate it when people say 'mum' about their own mum. It isn't my mum!

I’d say “my mum”.

But when talking to my best friend I’d probably say “Mummy” and she talks about “Daddy”, just as we did when we were 7 (we’re fully grown and not posh at all, we just still call them that). In fact if she does say “my dad” to me I find it very odd, it’s like she’s forgotten it’s me she’s taking to.

I hate it when midwives etc call you ‘mum’, and also in care homes some staff will talk to you about ‘mum’ - not ‘your mum’ - which I find very disrespectful.

Always called my Mum …Mummy when talking to her . Always referred to her as Mum if chatting about her . My children are exactly the same…Mummy to me and Mum if talking/ referring to me .

My mum or mother. My ds used to sometimes call me "my mummy " to my face (aged 2-3). Later, as a teen, he jokingly called me "my money"!

Even when I speak to my siblings I still say "my mum" because she only belongs to me

My mother / my father.

Mum / Dad only to siblings.

I have always felt a bit grumpy about this. I think especially since my parents are dead. But I have never articulated it, as I felt it was a bit out of order. So thankyou to those who agree.

To be honest, I feel it is the same as people who talk about ‘the wedding’ when they are getting married at some point in the future. Alongside all the other people getting married …