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Original poster

If Mumsnet was a woman how do you imagine her? (lighthearted, hopefully)

115 replies

flashbac · 28/12/2021 10:50

Just for fun!
Everyone will have a different answer.
To me she has 2 kids. Salary around 50k. Works from home. Lives in a detached house in a nice area.

OP posts:

NCkitchen · 28/12/2021 23:55

Hyacinth Bucket

Geneticsbunny · 28/12/2021 23:55

I assume she looks like Rosie the riveter

onlychildhamster · 28/12/2021 23:58

@PlanetNormal

When in front of a keyboard: Opinionated, forthright, feminist, independent, successful. Happy to drive to the other side of Europe on her own.

In real life : Anxious, neurotic, introverted, meek. Won’t drive on motorways, or at night, or into big cities or on roads she doesn’t know, or DH’s car.

oh lord, you just described me. I can't even drive (but I do live in London).

GlamorousHeifer · 29/12/2021 07:10

Would describe herself as an introvert and wear it as a badge of honour.
Considers telling people 'no' confrontational.
Couldn't pick her out in a line up, boring hair, minimal/no makeup, clean but plain boring clothes. Wears Hotters.
Loves her mum no matter what, hates her MIL just because she exists.
Has 2 very tall, very slim children. Little Rafferty and Felicia are in the gifted programme at the local outstanding comp school.
Has a gorgeous husband and she loves it when he reverses the car. She gets fanny gallops looking at his muscular forearms. He is fucking her one and only friend, she won't find out until he leaves and the kids tell her after their contact weekend.
Probably a lot more but I have to go to work

Original poster

flashbac · 29/12/2021 07:23

@GlamorousHeifer

Would describe herself as an introvert and wear it as a badge of honour. Considers telling people 'no' confrontational. Couldn't pick her out in a line up, boring hair, minimal/no makeup, clean but plain boring clothes. Wears Hotters. Loves her mum no matter what, hates her MIL just because she exists. Has 2 very tall, very slim children. Little Rafferty and Felicia are in the gifted programme at the local outstanding comp school. Has a gorgeous husband and she loves it when he reverses the car. She gets fanny gallops looking at his muscular forearms. He is fucking her one and only friend, she won't find out until he leaves and the kids tell her after their contact weekend. Probably a lot more but I have to go to work

Fanny gallops!

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 29/12/2021 07:45

Would describe herself as an introvert and wear it as a badge of honour.

Extroverts are very much villified on here by daring to be friendly to their work colleagues and, dare I say it, wanting to be friends with them.

Ibane · 29/12/2021 08:43

@RampantIvy

Would describe herself as an introvert and wear it as a badge of honour.

Extroverts are very much villified on here by daring to be friendly to their work colleagues and, dare I say it, wanting to be friends with them.

And for not regarding the school run with fear and horror, and for pointing out that one person’s playground ‘clique’ could also just mean ‘people talking to people they know’.

LavenderAskew · 29/12/2021 09:02

Don't have as much detail as other posters other than she wears a 20HH bra*, her husband is 6'2" and three children are tall and slim, and are all top of their classes.

She believes she giving a look (labelled "a Paddington stare") means she's solved whatever it was. (Which can be anything, from someone daring to use her first name to converting a murderer into becoming a community volunteer.)

used to wear a 36C until the intervention

LavenderAskew · 29/12/2021 09:04

Make that "She believes her giving a look ...". Not she giving a look...!!

RampantIvy · 29/12/2021 09:23

And is morally superior because she never watches TV, but spends her evenings weaving lentils, being "creative" and following other more worthy pursuits.

GlamorousHeifer · 29/12/2021 16:28

She also never drinks from the day her children are born until they leave home. Just in case she might have to drive them to hospital, even though she is a nervous driver incapable of going in the motor way and only drives when the full moon is in conjunction with Saturn.

Lifeisnteasy · 29/12/2021 16:48

Oooh yes, despite making one chicken last for 3 weeks, her son is ‘strapping’ and her husband at least 6ft2. However her daughter is ‘petite’ (even described as such as babies).

FanGirlX · 29/12/2021 16:58

@GlamorousHeifer

This too 😂

GlamorousHeifer · 29/12/2021 17:11

Last one then I promise I am over this
She hates dogs with a passion. She is absolutely convinced that the spaniel down the road is secretly planning to break into her home and eat her strapping 6ft tall 8 year old. It is in cahoots with the chihuahua next door that plans to eat the baby, she knows this because the owners are clearly irresponsible....they had a garden party once that didn't wrap up until 8pm and children were heard enjoying themselves until their 9pm bedtime.

Cattenberg · 31/12/2021 00:24

She’s a saintly figure who has never broken the law, never given her children junk food and never shouted at anyone, ever. However, she’s very harsh and judgemental towards anyone who falls short of her high standards.

She finds it easy to look after a newborn and a toddler whilst cooking dinner and keeping the house spotless. She’s surprised that some mothers find this difficult and wonders what on earth is wrong with them.

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