If Mumsnet was a woman how do you imagine her? (lighthearted, hopefully)

[flashbac]

Just for fun!
Everyone will have a different answer.
To me she has 2 kids. Salary around 50k. Works from home. Lives in a detached house in a nice area.

Actually, I never say "meal" either.

I am clearly a strange and vocal MNer.

Just off to try a pass ag and haughty "did you mean to be so rude" which in real life elicits the pithy "yes I fucking did response"

She used to be strong, witty and intelligent with brilliant ideas but she seems to becoming someone who doesn't want to socialise at all and can be terribly rude in an uncalled for way. Sometimes her light shines through and she's kind, genuine and helpful. I tend to look for those posts

@100problems

I actually never hear, pack a bag with or say the word "snack" in real life. To me it's a totally MNworld only word.

I say it often! Where are you living? Is it a regional thing?

@Ibane you're probably right. I just read a thread that was full of people laughing so much they could barely breath & spitting their tea out. I'm hungover & it irrationally irritated me. I'm going to take myself out for a run.

The South East. I obviously say/hear would you like a biscuit/some crisps/lunch/sandwich/cake etc but never, ever "snack".

Wears Joules, big boobs big thighs, posh southern accent, no nonsense and quite intimidating

@MaryAndHerNet

I think she'd look just like Betty from Corrie. She'd be wonderfully loving and caring, but you piss her off and she won't be shy to let you know. She'd also pull you down a peg or two if you need it and tell you straight to stop being a twat.

Who is Betty in Corrie?

Strident, rude, thinks she's the fount of all common sense, likes to tell people with problems to wobble their head.

I am starting to think I should've read the lighthearted memo more carefully.

Sarah Beaney

Late 30s/early 40s. Went to grammar school but acts like she went to Indy. Degree in art history from a Russel Group uni.

Parents live in a village but she now lives in really smart mid-terrace with large side return and extension in Zone 3 London. They bought their house with the help of an inheritance and before prices went nuts. She loves that her house has shot up in value over the last 15 years.

Her husband earns £85k a year in mid-management role but she says it's 6 figures when asked on MN. She earns £30k in a public sector admin role with loads of flexibility/term time only.

Her kids go to the Outstanding rated local primary but deep down she's jealous of the parents at the private school nearby.

She shops at Joules, Boden, and sometimes The White Company when she wants to treat herself.

One or two holidays a year abroad. Decent car, maybe an SUV but not a Range Rover, perhaps a BMW X3.

She's politically centre-left and finds herself in disagreement with her centre right husband on occasion but apart from that, their marriage is solid. Her DC are 2.5 years apart and are now 7 and 9 years old.

To me,
Very stylish, earns 6 figures and complains it's not enough, didn't take her DH's name and her children have her name, she did carry them after all! She is planning to LTB. Lives in a large detached house in a naice area, drives a Range Rover, washes her arsehole with a hosepipe and zoflorq as toilet paper is "unsanitary"

Never happy.

@MsThinksAlot

Claims she's older than she is to add more weight to her words; to make her look like she's lived and had more experiences than she actually has.

Every year, her age goes up by 5 years. She's about 75 now. By next year, it will go back down to 37 or 40 and repeat.

For this, I meant online.

In rl, she claims to be younger than she is. She's been 35 for five years now.

@MsThinksAlot

Claims she's older than she is to add more weight to her words; to make her look like she's lived and had more experiences than she actually has.

Every year, her age goes up by 5 years. She's about 75 now. By next year, it will go back down to 37 or 40 and repeat.

I have a colleague that does this, she tells people she is 30 and she's 37 in a few days!

Has cashmere socks, botox, swears a blue streak, definitely boden does park run lives in london but in a modest house (worth a bazillion) used to work in corporate law but went part time after kids. Oh and drinks copiously. She’s who I want to be when I grow up

@100problems

I am starting to think I should've read the lighthearted memo more carefully.

Same. Mine came out downright spiteful.

39, 5'4", glasses, could lose a few pounds, 2 kids Elle & Tristan, ttc 3rd
Second marriage, husband is a teacher - head of year, thin tall & bald.
Drives a silver VW Golf with dent in the boot lid and an I'M IN sticker
Home counties 1970's semi , Magnolia in the front garden.
Vegan, staunch labour voter , mental load warrior and firmly in the " all men are useless twats " camp, altho she enjoys a good spanking.

MN is two sisters. Sister 1 is a senior civil servant on reduced hours. Her husband is a MAMIL. They have 3 tousled blonde children. She agonises over how eco friendly things are and is very careful with her diet and a very moderate drinker. She eats massive salads. She wears Me+Em trousers. She can be a bit obsessed with rules but can also give very good, practical advice.
Sister 2 is a frazzled frontline worker, maybe a teacher. She has a toddler and a husband who is a bit hapless and makes work for her. She is very involved in lefty causes but no longer votes Labour. She drinks gallons of wine and watches a lot of Netflix. She never uses cash and pays for everything on her phone. She is vehemently remain and pro vaccine and very Covid careful. She wears mum Jeans and Doc Martin Chelsea boots.

Highly strung and worrying about absolutely everything, even things that have nothing at all to do with her and don't affect her in the slightest.

Very sweary with a quick temper and always stressed.

Has 3 small children called Arlo, Isanthe and Bertie, one of whom is a baby being carried in a sling, and the others are crying and carrying on and she's there pleading with them to settle down: "Oh Arlo, darling, mummy doesn't like it when you pull her hair do could you please stop?"

Drives an Audi.

Eats nothing but salad.

Has a massive, impeccably tidy and clean house.

Either has a nanny and works in some mysteriously high-powered job earning an absolute fortune or is a stay at home mum with a husband who is never there because he works "crazy hours", also earning a £6K salary.

I obviously meant a 6 figure salary 😂

@smurfsss

Late 30s/early 40s. Went to grammar school but acts like she went to Indy. Degree in art history from a Russel Group uni.

Parents live in a village but she now lives in really smart mid-terrace with large side return and extension in Zone 3 London. They bought their house with the help of an inheritance and before prices went nuts. She loves that her house has shot up in value over the last 15 years.

Her husband earns £85k a year in mid-management role but she says it's 6 figures when asked on MN. She earns £30k in a public sector admin role with loads of flexibility/term time only.

Her kids go to the Outstanding rated local primary but deep down she's jealous of the parents at the private school nearby.

She shops at Joules, Boden, and sometimes The White Company when she wants to treat herself.

One or two holidays a year abroad. Decent car, maybe an SUV but not a Range Rover, perhaps a BMW X3.

She's politically centre-left and finds herself in disagreement with her centre right husband on occasion but apart from that, their marriage is solid. Her DC are 2.5 years apart and are now 7 and 9 years old.

No point in me posting now. That was my list, but much more wittily expressed!

Stylish, 45-55, possibly divorced or in second relationship, 3 children, often drunk

1-2 children in her late 30s/early 40s
Wears Joules blouses, Boden clothes, seasalt janelle, Toast dresses
WFH from her 4 bed house with big garden in a market town in the Home Counties.
Lived in London in her 20s and early 30s, still talks about how much she loves London but moved out of London 'for the kids' and 'to get a proper of garden'.Visits London regularly for the theatre, food and culture but is grateful she doesn't live there (until the kids are teens and then she starts longing to get a pied a terre in London + a house in the country)
Goes on endless country walks
NC with MIL
Orders groceries from Ocado and gets Gousto boxes
Got married and became a mum in mid to late 30s
Buys 20 presents for her kid for Christmas (and worries that it isn't enough). Would suggest cashmere gloves, scarf, earrings, wine, cheese as possible gifts for any woman.
Only has a real tree for Christmas
Atheist
Has a free roaming pet cat (or two)!

Oh and politically she is centre-left but would not rule out voting tory. a Big Society Tory in the mould of Cameron/May.