How do you know when you are slipping mentally

[Feelingoood]

Inspired by a pp on another thread that said it’s when she stops having baths. I Just realised it’s when I spend too much time on mumsnet looking for answers! I now realise that means I need to do things that make me feel better - time alone, tidy home, wash clothes - as a matter of priority. How do you know when you are sliding 8nto depression?

Mine is anxiety and I've been on meds for almost a year now - but when I'm going through something stressful (where stress is indeed a normal response) I see my 'OCD' rituals start creeping back in, and it's like I have to do them or I think whatever I'm worried about will happen.

But whenever the event I'm worrying about is over, I do tend to feel a lot better, and the majority of the time I'm great.

I can't actually believe that I was that bad - and worse - all of the time before I was on the meds. How did I live like that?

It may be slightly different for me because my anxiety, depression and OCD-like traits are tied very closely to my autism and ADHD, so burnout can present in weird ways.

For me, I lose motivation to do anything that doesn’t give me instant dopamine, so I dissociate for hours on my Switch or scrolling social media. My impulse control goes to shit and I spend too much money. I can go non-verbal, I stop sleeping and I eat nothing but sugar. My intrusive thoughts become upsetting and I check the door is locked a million times a day. My temper is on a hair trigger and I melt down and pick fights with DH over nothing.

As someone said upthread, I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it's comforting to see my own experiences reflected here.

I often struggle with washing myself, all the necessary transitions feel too intense - from warm and clothed to cold and naked, from dry to wet, then the sensation of the damp towel, then doing it in reverse and putting clean clothes on knowing that it's just a matter of time until they're dirty and you have to do it again. I can usually manage a wash but if I'm struggling a shower is out of the question.

Tooth brushing has dwindled to once a day before bed.

I spend hours despair shopping, scrolling and scrolling on my phone, looking for something that will make me happy. I add to my eBay watch list until it's full then busy myself taking stuff out and adding other stuff.

Bedtime gets later and later. This time of year I sometimes get the feeling that night and day are reversed and I'm more alert and productive in the middle of the night.

I get a paranoid feeling when I'm up late, like someone is watching me.

I'm desperate to avoid all the tedious chores I do every day (cooking, cleaning, exercise) although they're what's standing between minimal activity and doing nothing at all.

Unmumsnetty hugs to all of you ❤️

After reading back through this thread again I’ve decided to run myself a bath, do a face mask, hair mask, shave my legs in the shower, look after myself a bit.
I’ve changed my bedsheets and am going to find some nice comfy clean clothes to put on.
Dc are all in one of their rooms playing nicely, dh is downstairs watching the telly, time to look after myself a bit now.
Have been running myself ragged, 2 days of back to back hosting, cooking, cleaning, tidying, worrying about where to put all the rubbish, worrying about the kids not having much fresh air for the last few days (although we did manage an hour in the woods yesterday which was nice), worrying about everything, not getting much sleep… I woke up at 8:30 this morning, fell back asleep and woke again at 11:45 - I needed that so much.
Self care time is essential!

I'm struggling a lot at moment with anxiety, depression and awful ocd. I have eczema and my main problem right now is I am scared to wash and wear clean clothes as I'm frightened they have soap in and I will itch. I have piles of clothes that have been washed over and over that I can't wear. I'm confused as to how much washing powder I should use for each load and how much I should rinse them to avoid soap residue.

It's stopping music listening and also book reading. I pick up books but just can't get into them. End up putting them down after half a chapter.

Thanks @Luckystar1  it's hard, no two ways about it, but in a way I'm grateful that it's something I can control that doesn't necessarily hurt me. I have had disordered eating for a lot of years, and a bad spending month can often be the signal that eating is going to follow down the drain, so in a way it's good to have it as a sort of signal.
I know the rehab suggestion is a bit OTT but in a way I appreciate that he is taking it seriously and not shrugging it off as a previous partner did.

@Graphista I will definitely keep a lookout! Thank you :)

Becoming very irritable
Retreating from talking to people
Feeling angry internally continuously
Binging on chocolate in large amounts
Feeling fed up, not bothered about doing anything just wanting to go to bed.
When it's really bad I wake up crying and can't listen to sad songs as they make me cry, and then crying over everything.

@Tj20 I have piles of clothes that have been washed over and over that I can't wear. I'm confused as to how much washing powder I should use for each load and how much I should rinse them to avoid soap residue.
Put them through the washing machine after a wash with no powder/tablet?

Oh and I stop bothering to feed myself properly!

Despite having had depression for many years, I function quite normally, out of the house. Indoors, it's often quite different. It's like putting on a face/uniform for others to see, then getting home and taking it off to be myself.

Lots of things…I’m slipping at the moment and it’s horrible. Heightened anxiety about literally everything (car journeys = fatal car crash, a small ache = terminal disease, DS going to school = I can’t even bring myself to write it), waking up in the small hours in a complete panic, crying all the time, a feeling of impending doom, not wanting to see anyone or go anywhere, a feeling that everyone would be better off without me, just wanting to shut myself off from everything, not caring what I look like, not wanting to do any housework. The list is endless.

Sorry to hear this...I have similar thoughts too and notice my health anxiety really sparks off when I'm stressed/low. This week is particularly hard for various reasons to do with estrangement/bereavement and I'm not sleeping well. Cue health anxiety. I also get the thing about not wanting to see people but feeling lonely/isolated.

Tj20 I’ve found a wash without any soap still washes fine! I think a drop of white vinegar might help, if there is strong under arm odour. I saw someone had tested it for themselves and had discovered just one teaspoon of detergent powder was enough for a wash. Obviously we are encouraged to use loads.
Thechosentwo, good for you! Absolutely you should have a rest.
I think is that what we need to do?
The pp who mentioned that we are super harsh to ourselves is right. I think we need to cuddle ourselves and look after us as if we were a child.
So hard to do!
💐

Has anyone tried CBD oil for anxiety and panic attacks. If so did it help at all?