How do you know when you are slipping mentally

[Feelingoood]

Inspired by a pp on another thread that said it’s when she stops having baths. I Just realised it’s when I spend too much time on mumsnet looking for answers! I now realise that means I need to do things that make me feel better - time alone, tidy home, wash clothes - as a matter of priority. How do you know when you are sliding 8nto depression?

When I don’t want to even interact with other people, let alone socialise. When I can’t be bothered to prepare food in any way, like putting some porridge in a microwave is too much effort.

When I start obsessively reading or watching series on tv, it's my way of blocking things out

I start googling health related issues. I wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep.
Torture myself over any worries

This is a very interesting thread. When I start submerging into social media, I think.

Thank you to OP for starting this thread and to everyone for sharing your experiences. It has made me think that I need to be more aware of my signs before things get too bad. Usually I don’t realise until it’s gone on for a while.

I start worrying about money.

When I stop brushing my hair regularly, and I start to let the dishes pile up. Further on it’s telling people I’ve got a migraine (I do get them) when I don’t so I can just lie in bed

The insomnia returns. A feeling of restlessness, and it’s really difficult to focus at work. Although these are more anxiety symptoms than depression.
Depression wise, fatigue, extreme fatigue. And the thing that always sends me back to therapy is when I forget the lyrics to songs that I know really well.
I choose to remain unmedicated but it’s really difficult. Especially since the last way work from home directive.

My health anxiety has really gets bad. I have horrendous nightmares (last night it was me stuck in a terrorist attack) and feeling totally exhausted.

I stop showering, leaving the house and getting dressed.

This is a very interesting and helpful thread.

Some of mine have already come up- feeling pointless, like what's the point of carrying on, getting irritable or cross and shouty, quite down on myself/my looks/my life, lately feelings of unease like I'm not sure what's wrong but I know something is.

I am quite lucky in that I don't plunge so quickly or so dramatically that I can't act, I'm usually able to talk with someone like my therapist, take medication (herbal), do more meditation or relaxation, consciously try to exercise. It is hard rescuing yourself from feeling 'pointless' and I know I am lucky that I'm able to mostly.

When I start worrying about money, not wanting to see or speak to anyone and most of all when I start feeling like a bad Mum. I'm a single parent and find it really difficult during the holidays to do things with the DC because of a lack of money and lack of energy. I just want to sleep all the time or zone out watching TV. The guilt of not doing anything with the DC really makes me spiral faster into a depression. I hope this makes sense. Mentally I'm not in a great place at the moment but hopefully will be ok in a couple of days.

When I don't cleanse and moisturise my face or wash my teeth before bedtime.

When I don’t feel up to going to the gym or doing a shortened, half hearted workout when there.

When I don't eat as a form of self punishment, or when I simply don't care what I eat, again as a form of self punishment or sometimes comfort.

When I get suicidal thoughts, although this doesn't happen as much these days since getting my high blood pressure and associated PMDD under control.

If they are going to happen, all or some of these are most apparent the week or so before my period.

when i want to throw my phone in a nearby canal

Fatigue, loss of memory (forgetting appointments etc) and feeling overwhelmed/ unable to multi-task.

Not washing , not wanting to get off the sofa , sleeping all the time. Neglecting the home. Bare minimum with the kids. Living off take aways . Scrolling aimlessly for hours . Alot of these apply all the time now. Ie my personal hygiene isn't great. I don't bath for days , rarely brush my teeth, I lay on the sofa alot and don't cook proper meals very often . I have just generally stopped bothering

Wow this thread is eye opening, it’s made me feel much less alone in my own thoughts.

For me, and sadly currently it’s happening.

• Wasting hours on mumsnet / social media
• Feeling hatred or annoyance towards those I love most (friends and family)
• feeling left out
• Not wanting to cook meals, bake, take a bath; all things I enjoy
• Wearing the same comfy clothes over and over (washing them of course)
• snappy. Dark thoughts
• insomnia around 4am
• Temptation to make big life changes to “fix it all”
• making to do lists but not doing them

On that note I should get off my phone and go to sleep!

For me it’s not wanting to leave the house. I live on my own and feel safer in my little cocoon. I also tend to let housework slide and eat rubbish. When I run out of drinking glasses is the time I need to have a stern word with myself.

Crying at nothing and regularly. I started doing this in the final lockdown and felt permanently tearful. Realised I was on a slippery slope.

Wanting to sleep all the time and not bothering with housework/socialising. And odd one but I seem to get a song (could be any song) stuck in my head on repeat continuously for days upon end.

Weirdly (or not as I now realise) I feel I’m mentally at a bit of a low ebb when I stop physically taking care of myself. I go for months regularly using the gym and once I get into the groove of it the rest of it takes care of itself.
The minute I take my eye off the ball I spend far too much time just lying in bed doing absolutely nothing, encouraging ds to bring games in to my room so we can play without me having to put much effort in etc.
I stop brushing my hair and doing my skincare routine properly, I don’t shave my legs, don’t bother painting my nails, all that regular grooming stuff just stops.
I wear the same few slobby outfits on repeat (although they are generally clean!) and I basically just keep ticking over by doing the absolute bare minimum.
When I start going to the gym again I’m a much more ‘with it’ person. But sometimes I just find it all so overwhelming and hard!
Struggling a bit at the moment but I know that it’s been a stressful and busy few weeks so I’m hoping that I pick myself up again soon. My hair is atrocious, it’s been in the same bun for 4 days without being taken down, I’m starting to look like a fright

This has been very eye opening. Thank you for sharing. I experience many of the 'signs' mentioned but have not thought that I may have depression.
I also fantasise about going off on my own somewhere like to a hotel or hospital.

Mine often stems from loneliness. My husband works overseas for long stretches of time. I'm very lucky in that I have amazing parents and siblings, and they will spot the signs before I do, and it's up to me then take heed and 'let' my mum and/or sister come and stay for a while.

This time, in order to pre empt some of this, I have changed my work hours so I'm out of the house more (NHS) and opened up to my friends more, so that they can help me if I start to feel like I'm spiralling. I have a couple of friends who are really fab and will come and stay with me for weekends etc.

People have said my signs are really subtle. I'm generally the joker of the pack and quite chatty. I start withdrawing and lose my sparkle.

When I stop cooking fresh food and start ordering take away, sometimes several times a day.

When I stop doing my skin care routine.

When I eat tonnes of shite a day.

When I start going to bed at 2 am or later and wake up 50 mins before I'm due to start work.

When I put weight on and have only a few t shirts and 1 pair of jeans that fit me and don't want to order more clothes because I am disgusted with myself and believe I am not worth it.

When I start getting jealous, emotional and sometimes evrn angry when people post nice things about their pregnancy, baby or children.

When I stop washing properly and throw my hair into a bun for days on end so it starts to become matted.

These are what happens when I am in the grips of depression and anxiety. The cycle stops and starts, and can last for months and months on end . I'm on one right now.

When I find myself exhausted after work purely from interaction with people, I find myself needing more and more time at home to 'recharge'. Its always the first step for me, and my DH can spot it before I do these days.