Family history. I don't get it. Can you explain?

[Jessicabrassica]

My mil is obsessed by family history. I am really pleased she has a hobby and she talks about it a lot. (It's a bit like a 10yo talking at you about super heros).

But I really don't get it.
I have told my children stories of the people who were in my life growing up, and some of my mum's stories from growing up. But these are people of whom we have actual meaningful memories and relationships.

I understand there is skill in the detective work but I struggle to see how your 4th cousin 3x removed is actually relevant if you have to find them on the internet and don't know them irl.

I come from a lineage where blood relatives are generally a bad thing. I'm adopted, dm was fostered and df went non-contact with his family. I don't really get 'family'. This might colour my view.
I'd like to get to a point where I understand the relevance if long-dead and unmet relatives. Can anyone help me out?

I think for some it's the pure genealogy. Lists of names and dated. Preferably getting back to royalty (with no supporting evidence whatsoever).

For others like me it's finding out about my ancestors lives and the social history. Looking at where they lived (Road Trip planned!!) What was life like for them etc

I started researching my family tree following my mum's death from bowel cancer. My GP asked me whether there was a history of bowel cancer in the family because it was important to find out for my sake as the tendency can be hereditary, but as I had no surviving older relatives, I had no-one to ask. So I started sending off for the death certificates of older family member so I could discover what they'd died of.

Turned out that they died of all sorts of things (including one who was murdered), but apart from my mum, none from bowel cancer.

After finding that out, I just carried on researching. Haven't done much in the last 10 years or so, but I do have a lot of records now.

I was astonished to find that my maternal Great grandparents had such a strong connection to the village I’ve lived in for the past 25 years, although they aren’t buried here. I’m determined to find their graves, I just hope they were buried together because if not then his grave may not exist after 122 years, my Great Grandma died in 1931 so should definitely still have a grave.
There are so many unanswered questions and nobody left to ask 🙁
My Grandad’s younger brother James died at Xmas 1914, but not in WW1, he was killed along with his horse when they were swallowed by a mine shaft collapse, not half a mile from my house, his baby Son had died the year before, I can’t imagine what his poor wife went through.
His Sister Martha died in childbirth with her 3rd child in 1917, her eldest Daughter Mary, was the Grandmother of the 96 year old lady living 4 doors away from me, I went to school with her Grandaughter not knowing we were related!
I’m desperate to find any living relatives of a family called Ellerton, my Grandad and four of his siblings married Ellertons pre WW1 but nobody in my family has ever heard of them, the only person who may have known something is my Great Aunt in her late 90’s but unfortunately she has dementia.

@BorgQueen You could try writing a letter to the newspaper local to where you know they were living and asking for people to contact you if they know of anyone with that name, or used to.

There is also GenesReunited, and you might find people researching the same family on there.

@thatsallineed

Talking of old photos, if your elderly relatives have ancient photos they love talking about, and telling you who the people are, please make sure that their identities are recorded somewhere. I'm in the unfortunate position of having around 200 old black and white photos, some well over a hundred years old, I don't know who most of the people are, and there's no-one left alive to ask.

Even if you aren't interested yourself, please mention it to older family members, and someone in years to come will be really grateful!

A year or two before he died my DF put a load of old black and white snaps from his childhood into an album, with captions. Lots of seaside ones, plus holidays on his GPs’ farm, which we were delighted to learn was called Frog Hall. None of us would have had a clue who most of the people were, or the locations, otherwise. He even remembered the name of a carthorse on his GPs’ farm in about 1926 - Boxer. We particularly enjoyed some of the captions, e.g., ‘Granny and Great-Aunt Agnes, in the fashion of staid ladies of their day.’
And of himself at 10 or so with his mother, ‘She doesn’t seem to be bringing up that little ruffian very well.’ So very glad he made the effort to do it.

@BorgQueen You could try writing a letter to the newspaper

many people now use local facebook groups for such searches. Some places even have local history groups so its worth checking those places and putting up a request

Facebook groups are brilliant for this sort of thing. Last year I came across a whole album of photos from the 1900-1920 period along with some other stuff in the charity shop where i volunteer. Enough clues to work out they were taken in a very small village in rural Ireland and so I posted on the village Facebook group asking about them and wondering if there were any living relatives still in the area.

The thread took off and there were loads of responses from people recognising people or settings, reminiscing about the family, and pointing me in the direction of descendants of the people in the photographs. All within about 2 days of posting.

BorgQueen, I'm sure someone here could have a quick look for you if you can provide approximate dates and location. I'd do it myself but we're in the middle of a house move and the pc is packed away - my eyesight isn't good enough to look on the mobile!

And yes to FB groups - our local one often receives requests from people looking for family tree information.

@BorgQueen

I was astonished to find that my maternal Great grandparents had such a strong connection to the village I’ve lived in for the past 25 years, although they aren’t buried here. I’m determined to find their graves, I just hope they were buried together because if not then his grave may not exist after 122 years, my Great Grandma died in 1931 so should definitely still have a grave. There are so many unanswered questions and nobody left to ask 🙁 My Grandad’s younger brother James died at Xmas 1914, but not in WW1, he was killed along with his horse when they were swallowed by a mine shaft collapse, not half a mile from my house, his baby Son had died the year before, I can’t imagine what his poor wife went through. His Sister Martha died in childbirth with her 3rd child in 1917, her eldest Daughter Mary, was the Grandmother of the 96 year old lady living 4 doors away from me, I went to school with her Grandaughter not knowing we were related! I’m desperate to find any living relatives of a family called Ellerton, my Grandad and four of his siblings married Ellertons pre WW1 but nobody in my family has ever heard of them, the only person who may have known something is my Great Aunt in her late 90’s but unfortunately she has dementia.

If you want to pm me the info you have on the line you are interested in, I will be happy to take a look for you.