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Original poster

How much money did you save before trying for a baby?

76 replies

somegirlontheinter · 23/12/2021 22:17

I know there’s no set answer, but I’m curious to know how much we realistically need to save. My SO and I are both 29, and I feel like I constantly have baby fever. We both have a decent joint income of >130k which I think means that we could afford the day to day cost of parenting but I wonder if we need to have enough saved for a few years (e.g. 5 years) of education, extra-curriculars and childcare or is it enough to just cover all the expenses of the first year + maternity leave? My SO and I cannot seem to agree on this. We are getting on a bit now, but the reality of being a mum is a bit worrying and almost frightening…(all of my disposable income will no longer be available for me to buy/do silly and pointless things, no more me-time, can’t just decide to go abroad on a whim). But the money issue is the first hurdle to figure out…

OP posts:
HelloBunny · 23/12/2021 22:21

None. Sounds like you have plenty of money to me! Nothing to worry about...

RosesAndHellebores · 23/12/2021 22:21

Well fast forward back to 1993 and we had about £500k equity. That meant we could have moved 8 miles out of Central London to a very nice semi and have enough for school fees. Not sure what that extrapolates to in 2022.

firstimemamma · 23/12/2021 22:24

£130k!!!! You do not have a money issue! We are on just over £30k, I think we had £1k saved before we had our first and are doing great. Bro in law and his wife on much less than us and doing well with 3 children.

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Antenatal & postnatal Families General money Maternity leave
Bluntness100 · 23/12/2021 22:25

Nothing we just calculated child care fees v disposable income and went for it.

LyraVega · 23/12/2021 22:26

I have to say I am surprised by your post, your household income seems very high.

Obviously you don't mention your outgoings but saving 5 years worth of education (private school?) and childcare before you get pregnant seems... excessive?

We didn't save anything before pregnancy but during pregnancy we have managed to save the equivalent of just over 5 months worth of mortgage payments whilst buying all of the things we need for baby.

Draw up a budget of all your expected costs during pregnancy, maternity leave and post maternity leave (childcare) and see if your maternity pay + your DP income covers it. If not, try and save as much of the difference as you can.

CaroleFuckingBaskin · 23/12/2021 22:27

None

somewhereoverthechipshop · 23/12/2021 22:27

Didn’t save anything. It was a different time though and the cost of living was somewhat lower..2005

msc6199 · 23/12/2021 22:31

Following, as in the same position as you OP! 💕

Doifollowrule · 23/12/2021 22:31

None. If you wait til you can afford it, you'll never do it. We had our first 13 years ago when I was 25. I was earning 11,000 DH 19. We managed and have had two more, and started my own businesses, and dh has moved up with a blip on the way (made redundant when our second one was 2, and did a couple of lower paid jobs til he found a better one) our income is literally half yours but we have a perfectly nice life, own our house, and have everything we need.

Heatherjayne1972 · 23/12/2021 22:33

I didn’t save any but I did pay off my credit card and catalogue debts.

FireworkParrot · 23/12/2021 22:37

We didn't save anything specifically towards children before I became pregnant, other than we had a rough idea of childcare costs and had worked out how much we'd have after nursery fees and mortgage/other bills.

During my pregnancy we saved up to cover us during the months I'd be maternity leave and not on full pay, this topped up my SMP during mat leave.

You're honestly fine OP, you're in a better situation financially than most and you just find the money. Our nursery fees were more than our mortgage at one point and I would have never believed we could have afforded it before having DC but we've managed fine and still managed to save a bit of money (although not as much as pre-children!)

Doifollowrule · 23/12/2021 22:37

Probably is a good idea to work out your childcare plan early on though - we did have my mother in law looking after our first two whilst I was at work. That's a lot cheaper than nursery or childminders!

TheCatShatInTheHat · 23/12/2021 22:38

DC1 - teenage pregnancy, accident, lived on benefits.

DC2 - We saved 20k because I knew I'd only back to work part time for 2 years.

Honestly, on that combined salary, you should have some savings already.

MummyJasmin · 23/12/2021 22:38

Lol 130k is more than enough

Orreries · 23/12/2021 22:39

We didn’t save anything — my maternity pay was generous, I knew I was returning to work immediately, so it was just a matter of calculating whether our combined incomes could cover childcare.

Not what you asked, but I don’t think 29 is ‘getting on’ at all for having a baby.

Original poster
somegirlontheinter · 23/12/2021 22:39

@LyraVega

I have to say I am surprised by your post, your household income seems very high.

Obviously you don't mention your outgoings but saving 5 years worth of education (private school?) and childcare before you get pregnant seems... excessive?

We didn't save anything before pregnancy but during pregnancy we have managed to save the equivalent of just over 5 months worth of mortgage payments whilst buying all of the things we need for baby.

Draw up a budget of all your expected costs during pregnancy, maternity leave and post maternity leave (childcare) and see if your maternity pay + your DP income covers it. If not, try and save as much of the difference as you can.

Thank you. Our outgoings don’t leave us with much as we recently used up all our savings to buy a flat and furnish it. We have very little savings, barely enough for an emergency fund at the moment.

Saving to cover several months mortgage sounds like a really good start. I earn more than my partner so when I’m on mat leave, we’ll have a significant reduction in our joint income. Will definitely sit down and draw up a budget and hopefully will have a better idea then.

OP posts:
BitterTits · 23/12/2021 22:42

This is ridiculous. You are wealthy.

Fretfulmum · 23/12/2021 22:43

Your household income is largely irrelevant as it depends on disposable income and your maternity package. I saved up 3 years worth of living expenses to give myself flexibility with working arrangements post baby. I ended up going freelance and working around the baby after 15 months which the savings gave me a great cushion for

Original poster
somegirlontheinter · 23/12/2021 22:44

@FireworkParrot

We didn't save anything specifically towards children before I became pregnant, other than we had a rough idea of childcare costs and had worked out how much we'd have after nursery fees and mortgage/other bills.

During my pregnancy we saved up to cover us during the months I'd be maternity leave and not on full pay, this topped up my SMP during mat leave.

You're honestly fine OP, you're in a better situation financially than most and you just find the money. Our nursery fees were more than our mortgage at one point and I would have never believed we could have afforded it before having DC but we've managed fine and still managed to save a bit of money (although not as much as pre-children!)

Childcare fees would take away at least 50% of our disposable income if it’s as expensive as it sounds from my research. So that’s why I thought we might as well save up for ? how much. I also earn more than my partner so when I’m on mat leave it may be more difficult, but I’ll try to return to work as early as possible I think.
OP posts:
HarrisMcCoo · 23/12/2021 22:44

None. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. If you deliberate over this type of decision due to money concerns you would never have a family.

ohidoliketobe · 23/12/2021 22:44

I made sure we cleared off credit cards with outstanding balance. I was entitled to18 weeks full pay plus 20 weeks statuary pay, so we made sure we had enough set aside to top up the stat mat to my regular full pay, plus a bit extra so I had almost a full year off work.

Agadorsparticus · 23/12/2021 22:45

Before our DC we bought a cheap family car to replace our sports car and saved enough to cover the bills in the first year plus essential baby costs, pushchair, clothing, car seat.
We had a few lean years whilst we paid for childcare then I dropped to PT but we had the basics covered.
On your income I cannot see that you'd struggle unless you don't rein in your overheads.

Original poster
somegirlontheinter · 23/12/2021 22:45

@Fretfulmum

Your household income is largely irrelevant as it depends on disposable income and your maternity package. I saved up 3 years worth of living expenses to give myself flexibility with working arrangements post baby. I ended up going freelance and working around the baby after 15 months which the savings gave me a great cushion for
Thank you so much, extremely helpful and I agree with you re household income.
OP posts:
sjxoxo · 23/12/2021 22:48

Are you meaning 5 years of savings as you not earning or 5 years of school fees? If it’s the first you obviously need to remove your salary from the 130k and calculate your budget. If it’s school fees that you can get a definite amount for so can also budget easier. Assuming your 130k isn’t you earning 120k and your partner earning 10k, and assuming you are roughly equal contributors you should be able to easily manage unless you have a ridiculous mortgage. If you both continue working and income stays the same, unless you’ve got a very unusual situation where you gave huge huge debt repayments, you don’t need to save anything as your budget should be easily manageable. You aren’t ‘getting on’ at 29!! We have about 45k saved, not really for any particular thing but just some security, baby due in Jan. I was keen to take some decent time off but you never know if you will fall pregnant etc it can take time- I do think if you over plan for it in advance it makes it stressful & can take longer! x

LemonSwan · 23/12/2021 22:51

I wouldnt worry OP. I am currently pregnant - unplanned but not unwanted.

Everyone comes out the woodwork when you have a baby. We have been offered a bugaboo pram second hand by a colleague and even my parents neighbour has donated a baby bouncer and other various items (and they are very well off so I am quite excited to see this magnificent contraption!).

They apparently grow out of clothes so quick theres no point buying new - so second hand is the norm even for those on higher incomes.

As far as I am aware they only things you really need to buy new are the mattress and the car seat.

It is the childcare fees which are the kicker for most but you certainly earn enough that this wont be a problem.

Have fun! Grin