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Original poster

How much money did you save before trying for a baby?

76 replies

somegirlontheinter · 23/12/2021 22:17

I know there’s no set answer, but I’m curious to know how much we realistically need to save. My SO and I are both 29, and I feel like I constantly have baby fever. We both have a decent joint income of >130k which I think means that we could afford the day to day cost of parenting but I wonder if we need to have enough saved for a few years (e.g. 5 years) of education, extra-curriculars and childcare or is it enough to just cover all the expenses of the first year + maternity leave? My SO and I cannot seem to agree on this. We are getting on a bit now, but the reality of being a mum is a bit worrying and almost frightening…(all of my disposable income will no longer be available for me to buy/do silly and pointless things, no more me-time, can’t just decide to go abroad on a whim). But the money issue is the first hurdle to figure out…

OP posts:
Original poster
somegirlontheinter · 23/12/2021 23:49

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo

Also look at the partners shared parental leave policy, it may make more financial sense for you to take the first 3 months then for him to take the rest. It definitely sounds like it would make more sense for him to go part time than you if that becomes necessary.

In London you'll be looking at at least £100 a day for nursery so around £2000 a month

Will definitely look into shared parental leave. We’ll be losing the majority of our disposable income to nursery and that’s before I consider stepping down to part time. Can’t believe it’s so expensive!
OP posts:
mindutopia · 23/12/2021 23:53

None and our income was quite low back then (I’d guess maybe £35k combined?). Dh was in a graduate job and I was doing a PhD. We make about what you do now and no, we’d definitely not need to save. We could easily survive in dh’s income even if I had no mat pay (I’m done having babies). £135k is a lot!

whymewhyme · 23/12/2021 23:55

£0

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Antenatal & postnatal Families General money Maternity leave
GuidingSpirit · 23/12/2021 23:59

SW London here - we have a joint income slightly over yours, although our split between DH and me is more like 55/45. We had around £40k saved up.

DD was born in June. All the stuff we 'needed' for the baby, we bought out of disposable income whilst i was pregnant, so we havent really touched the savings yet.

I have taken 6months mat leave at full pay, 3 months at statutory. We didn't do shared parental leave, only because DH recently changed jobs and i was happy to do the full 9months (ive worked at my place for nearly 10years). Going back to work 3 days a week in April, although that takes me down a tax band so not as big a drop as i thought. I'll go back full time when she's 18months and we start thinking about no 2 (im mid thirties) to benefit from full time mat leave again.

The local nursery is £75 per day for the baby room and seems perfectly nice for now - we might move her when she gets to 2, but we'll see how it goes. She won't be going to private school, unless she gets a scholarship so we dont have that aspect to worry about.

Hoping to not dip into the savings too much so that we can do an extension next year! Blush

FusionChefGeoff · 24/12/2021 00:07

None - we just adjusted our spends to meet new income. You've got an insanely high joint income you'll be fine

lljkk · 24/12/2021 00:23

None. Unplanned pregnancies

Pheebs2021 · 24/12/2021 06:59

We're roughly 80k in the Midlands and due in the summer I'm aiming to take 9 months of which will be stat were extremely fortunate that our outgoings are coveted by DH salary quite easily but my personal plan is to save enough money to supplement my stat to almost my monthly wages I'm saving £500 a month to do this, doesn't leave a lot spare after my outgoings whilst saving to this level but I want a worry free maternity as I'll only get this once.

MotherWol · 24/12/2021 07:31

Our joint income isn’t as high as yours, but I saved around four months salary to cover the shortfall while I am on maternity leave. I hope not to need to use it all as DH will be increasing his contribution to the joint account as mine decreases- DD1 wiped out my savings as I’d tried to cover all the costs myself, rather than treating it like a shared cost. We’ve moved to joint finances since so with DD2 it shouldn’t leave me skint by the end of mat leave.

A FT nursery place costs around £60/day in London, if you’re a high earner and need more flexible childcare then a nanny might work better for you, I’d budget around £30kpa for that.

rainbowsandmagpies · 24/12/2021 09:33

It was a tedious couple of hours, but we made a spreadsheet that worked out what our deficit would be during parental leave (about £5k) so saved that, plus an extra £2k for a pram, breast pump, cot etc. We then worked out all the working scenarios for post baby. I'm a nurse so work 3 12.5 shifts a week, leaving us to work out what we'd do with the other days re: childcare. We did the sums for both us staying full time and baby going to nursery on the days I was working or my husband dropping to 3 or 4 days with the appropriate amount of nursery days.

I'm someone who needs to have the figures in front of her to not be feeling anxious, so it really helped.

Stompythedinosaur · 24/12/2021 09:56

29 is not "getting on a bit" imo. You have time.

I saved 6 months of my income to support us during my maternity leave, bit that was all. We waited to have a baby until our regular income was OK to pay for the dc's needs. And that was a lot less than 130k!

Look on the bright side - you'll be too tired to go out or do any hobbies for a while!

mylittleyumyum · 24/12/2021 09:58

Not one brown penny!

wonderstuff · 24/12/2021 10:05

I think this is a how long Ida piece of string questions. We saved nothing, we had a flat and we cut back on all our spending when I was pregnant, I had to go back to work when dd was 8mo, then recession hit and dh lost hi job (and 4 more jobs after that) and our small flat plummeted in value and so we couldn’t move, then when dd was 18mo and I was pg with ds we really had to move so we rented for years and finally when they were 7 and 5 got to the point where we could buy a tiny 3 bed doer upper and afford to go on holidays that weren’t camping! Don’t regret anything, my fertility might not have allowed us to wait longer, it was tough, but the kids were fine and being poor really teaches you the value of money.

Don’t put it off forever if you really want kids, but don’t expect having kids to be massively life changing, we always say kids are what you want if you have too much money and too much time, they solve both of those issues.

Kookookachuu · 24/12/2021 10:06

I think you’ll cope on that salary Grin

Classicblunder · 24/12/2021 10:17

I agree that shared parental leave is worth looking at. Not just for financial reasons - we found it just incredibly helpful for getting DH properly comfortable in sole charge

Nursery costs in London vary a lot - we pay 80 a day in our area but I have seen as high as 90 and as low as 60. Childminders are generally cheaper but it depends on whether you can find one that is a good fit.

Compressed hours also useful for saving nursery costs - we both do 4.5 days compressed into 4 so only 3 days nursery. You can also do 9 day fortnights.

We saved enough to get through mat leave/SPL and worked out our budget for after that. I will say that although kids are expensive - childcare especially - you do also naturally spend less on other things so I didn't find mat leave especially that expensive.

More generally - is this really about finances or are you just not feeling ready? You have time, you could just start saving and park the question of TTC for another year

DuneFan · 24/12/2021 10:43

Similar household income to you though in a cheaper part of the country. We did a spreadsheet calculating our household income & expenditure over the mat leave period and found we didn't have a deficit due to both of us being similar income plus enhanced maternity pay from my employer. We do have savings however just in case. (Enough to cover 6 months essential bills and food)

Similarly I've done a draft budget for the most expensive months when we'll have two children in nursery, and again no deficit.

Might be worth doing these calculations to understand what any shortfall might be and then any investments etc you are able to do for school fees etc would be a bonus.

quitecrunchy · 24/12/2021 12:52

None.

I should think that on £130K income you'll probably manage ok!

KenAdams · 24/12/2021 14:20

Planning is sensible, I'm not sure why people are saying it isn't.

We made a list of what we would need and saved enough money for us to not have a drop in income for the time I was on mat leave so we wouldn't notice much different. It made life so much easier than just having to "get by". By the time we needed to pay nursery fees, being back at work funded that anyway.

I agree with PP though, you would struggle to afford private school in London on that income.

To people saying she will be fine on her income, that's the whole point, she won't be earning that on mat leave will she?!

Trinacham · 24/12/2021 14:36

We are 29 and 31 and expecting our first. Have about 20k in savings. Joint income is around 60k, but planning to half this as I probably won't return to work for a few years while bringing up baby (and maybe another). Our mortgage though is only 50k now (planning to overpay this like we do every year so will drop to 35k soon) so our outgoings are low. We left having children this long as we always planned that I'd be a SAHM for a few years.

EishetChayil · 24/12/2021 15:16

Your monthly income must be going on for 10 grand, and you're worried? You need, as the MN saying goes, to give your head a wobble.

Original poster
somegirlontheinter · 24/12/2021 15:25

@EishetChayil

Your monthly income must be going on for 10 grand, and you're worried? You need, as the MN saying goes, to give your head a wobble.
Lmao what?! Our joint monthly income is not £10k post tax and not including expenses. I think it’a your head that head needs a wobble.
OP posts:
Classicblunder · 24/12/2021 16:26

@EishetChayil

Your monthly income must be going on for 10 grand, and you're worried? You need, as the MN saying goes, to give your head a wobble.
You have no idea how tax/deductions work.

I am on 75k and my take home pay is around 4k a month after pension, I have paid off my student loan as well which the OP may not have

Manc2 · 24/12/2021 16:51

@EishetChayil
We earn 100k sih and our take home is 5400. 130k is no where near 10k

AmigoingcrZy · 24/12/2021 16:51

We live in the Midlands on a joint income of about £38k. Surprise pregnancy and we had to move house (rented) to have the space so that cost money. We lived month to month so really struggled to save much. Managed to save £1000 after moving. But SMP covers my share of the bills and I got 16 weeks full pay first. The £1000 is just a cushion now. I start my KIT days in the spring for a bit of extra money and then return to work in July on the opposite shift to my partner so we dont need to pay for nursery. It's going to be a struggle but we will cope I'm sure. Like others have said, if you wait until you can afford it you'll never do it! I cant even imagine that salary but I do understand that your outgoings will be way higher than mine so what I can live on you will struggle more.

RedWingBoots · 24/12/2021 17:09

Apart from what the others have mentioned, I suggest you start having a look at childcare options and state schools in your area now

Don't automatically discount childminders. They can offer good care particularly for children under 2 and some are flexible. For example I haven't been fined for late pick up due to commuting issues but have colleagues whose nurseries have.

If the state schools in your area are no good you are going to have to move house as you can't afford private schooling on that salary in London.

Also don't make yourself the default parent if you earn more than him. Find out his parental leave and flexible working policy, then strongly encourage him to take it.

My DP, a couple of my brothers, a handful of our male friends and a few of my colleagues have at different times been the default parent. (Yes my DP and others have taken shared parental leave.) This means they are the ones who deal with sick children and childcare issues. You may have to teach your childcare provider and child's school who to phone but it is a small price to pay to keep your career going.

OGenkiDesuKa · 24/12/2021 17:11

We’re managing quite comfortably on a single income of 35k, 2 adults a 7 year old and a newborn. No savings atm as we bought a new car and got married.