I'm so fucking broody. Tell me all the terrible things about having a baby.

[jennawenttorehab]

I'm really, really broody.

I have one 15 year old DC who I had young. Raising him has been a challenge to say the least. Freedom is within sniffing distance. So WHY am I suddenly so desperately broody?!

I know it's probably my hormones. So please remind me of all the rubbish parts of having a baby (or the wonderful parts about having kids so old they no longer need you!).

18+ years of relentless hard work

Lack of sleep
Never being able to have a wee/poo/Bath in peace
Loss of social life
They cost a fortune
You're constantly cleaning up after them
Your life isn't your own anymore
You never stop worrying
They make a lot of noise

No sleep for years

It will be your hormones playing tricks on you OP, reasons not to have another baby include, morning sickness, labour, lack of sleep, teething, nappies, potty training, all those seemingly endless school runs, the cost.

My youngest continues to put me off kids for life.

When pregnant, I had constant back ache, pre-eclampsia, Bells Palsy and I was honestly at a point where I thought I wouldn't make it out his pregnancy alive.

He was nice as a baby. Better and easier than my first.

Toddler years he was a grumpy shit. He was a late talker and just complained all the fucking time. Never ate. Still doesn't eat much unless it's Haribo or carrots.

He's six now and got a stomach bug. So far, he's thrown up over my lovely pristine sofa, my newish carpets and the entire bathroom floor. Spending your Sunday night mopping up sick off your bathroom floor is not how you wanna spend your life OP!

My eldest is just as bad BTW, but at least he throws up in the toilet and not over soft furnishings.

Toilet. Training.

You'll have someone who loves you despite all your claws. If you want a baby then why not. What if you regret it.

Gallstones - no one tells you pregnancy increases the risk!

Nausea/swelling/weight gain/constipation

Tearing/episiotomy

Nipple trauma

But also

A cute little baby 🥰🤱👩🏼‍🍼

Where do I start.....

Sleep deprivation, temper tantrums, lack of spontaneity, cost of nappies, food bills as they grow. The constant worry.

I just got a puppy and have two older kids.

I am having toddler flashbacks. Never leaving the room, constant supervision, poo, wee, night waking, constant planning, snacks, smells, toys all over the floor.

Thankfully this only lasts months rather than years…but it’s been VERY effectively at curbing any broodiness!

Babies are demanding. Broken sleep. No time to do what you want. Can’t just pop out to see friends or take a trip away. As they grow up being tied to schools. All the school demands and activities, friendship dramas.
Doing it all once or with similar age children is one thing, starting again when your youngest is 15 will be tedious in the long term.

I have adult children and my younger two are 15 and 12.

Adult children are great. They can drive you places, make you dinner, fix things and be proper friends.

I work with babies and young children though so I get the cuddles and get to make a mess but the hard bits are shared with colleagues, for example if a baby is having a restless day and needs a lot of comforting. We can take turns. I enjoy being with young ones but glad they aren’t mine these days. There is a definite difference between our 20 yr staff and our 40+ yr staff in regards to how broody the babies make them feel!

Personally, no I wouldn’t have more now. But I will enjoy grandchildren if and when they come along.

@faithfulbird20

You'll have someone who loves you despite all your claws. If you want a baby then why not. What if you regret it.

What is she, the Gruffalo? 😂

The worst thing is that you don't know whether you will get an easy, chilled out child or a seriously hard work one that will bring you to your knees. My dc1 was the poster child for good behaviour, leading me to the false belief that I am able to parent. Dc2 is a whole different species. Unless he has your full undivided attention, he constantly tries to find new ways to injure himself or his sister. He also doesn't sleep, doesn't eat well, just doesn't stop for a second. It is relentless and exhausting and thankless at this point. He will be 3 in the spring and I have been on the verge of a breakdown from lack of sleep and stress since he was born.

@Stormwhale my first was (is) like this, and astonishingly I still went on to have a second - who is the easiest thing that ever lived. The thing that puts me off a third is I couldn't do it again if they came out like the eldest, who is now 4.

Has this thread helped, OP? 😀

When they scare you to death by appearing in your bedroom in the middle of the night, and you wake up to see them staring at you silently.

Oh, and pregnancy indigestion, and piles.

Oh god, yes, GoodVibesHere the ghostly standing and staring next to your bed! DC2 occasionally STILL does that at age 12, it’ll likely be the death of DH!

They leak from every orifice
They stink.

They cry- a lot
They keep you up at night. All night. Every night - certainly feels like it
You lose your freedom to just go out and do stuff
They’re expensive

They need soooo much stuff
toys everywhere - and their favourite one is always always always the noisy toy

That’s before we get to the joy that is primary school. You’re tied to a school schedule
No holidays in term time
Having to go in at 2pm for family assembly/ plays / invites to look at their workbooks
parents evenings at 4.30pm!
The assumption that a parent is at home all the time or can drop everything to do school things midday or collect a unwell child at 3pm ( ten mins before they finish anyway!!!)
Breakfast/ After school club not meeting your needs
PTA- less said about that the better

@ADialgaAteMyDog

They sometimes turn into banshee toddlers who can't speak but want things off high shelves. They point and grunt and you do the "this one? This one?" game while they screech and screech because you've got it wrong and when you finally get it right it's something they're not allowed so they have a tantrum that lasts all day and eventually you can't fucking stand it and give them the thing which is then immediately broken thus causing a tantrum which lasts until next week. Your thing is broken and they have screeched for 3 hours.

You just don't need that shit in your life op.

Oh Jesus I'd forgotten. I'm having full-on PTSD flashbacks

ADialgaAteMyDog oh that made me life. So accurate I had flashbacks.

Laugh, not life.
Bloody autocorrect.

Think of the freedom you have to go out, travel, piss, think clearly. Now think about not having that for well over a decade. Think about being menopausal (so basically your hormones screaming THE OPPOSITE of what they are currently shouting) and STILL having to parent. Think about regretting it and the guilt of that. It’s chemical not rational…book a holiday, go to the theatre, have an uninterrupted bath. Remind yourself it’s a crazy idea! Dont be a slave to your hormones. They are evil.
Also, your 15yr old probably would prefer you didn’t. Everything would become about the baby, and even if you say they wouldn’t miss out, they would.
Find someone to babysit for…then hand the bundle of (sweet baby smelling squishiness) straight back.

This is all helping, thank you! The noise, the school runs, the assumption by school that every family has a SAHP and can drop everything at a moment's notice. YES, I hated it all.

Sleep. I haven’t slept for more than 3 hours straight in 2.5 years.

Playground cliques
Hours spent sitting next to a swimming pool/football pitch
Chicken pox
Spontaneity
Sitting on a tiny chair for parents meetings