I'm so fucking broody. Tell me all the terrible things about having a baby.

[jennawenttorehab]

I'm really, really broody.

I have one 15 year old DC who I had young. Raising him has been a challenge to say the least. Freedom is within sniffing distance. So WHY am I suddenly so desperately broody?!

I know it's probably my hormones. So please remind me of all the rubbish parts of having a baby (or the wonderful parts about having kids so old they no longer need you!).

Having to deal with school mums again.

Ditto teenagers, give me a toddler anyday rather than the miserable overgrown kind

Five years later she STILL won't go to sleep.

The constant stream of snot, coughs and colds, temperatures that turn up just as you've managed to get your baby into a sodding routine!

The constant worry over whether they are meeting a milestone!

They bite your nipples and you'll never sleep again. Also there was a point in labour where everyone was telling me to push but I knew my vague would tear if I pushed, I still had to push. Bloody awful.

I hate the judgement. Raising kids now involves needing to be the perfect parent. You cannot have any mental health issues. You cannot shout or get cross. Social media dictates the need for constant flashy days out and money being spent like water. I honestly didn’t realise it was like this until I lived it.

Very long term commitment.
Medium term lack of sleep.
Physical toll.
The teenage years.

The mess, the screaming, no sleep ever, not being able to go out without needing a ton of stuff and the never ending washing

I have a ten year gap and while I obviously love youngest DC to bits, having such a big gap has impacted me so negatively- my mental health, tiredness, sex life, career, free time, relationship, body, social life etc... I can't regret her because I love her to pieces but I bloody regret those ten years.

Also, dress up days at primary at a seconds notice, dealing with the PTA, the potential for working and home schooling during an outbreak the chance of having to spend hours watching kid's sports in the rain at the the weekends, the dreadful words "Mymmy we are putting on a show".

No sleep, childcare costs, no social life, no money, no sleep, school runs, the hell of primary school homework, no time or energy to exercise, messy house, no sleep

I forgot finances. Not sure how old you are but because I had a baby in my 20s, it made me realise how much easier the whole thing was physically compared to my 30s... younger bodies generally cope much better with pregnancy and fatigue. By young I don't mean very young- early teens etc.

Mainly the WORRY. Always fearing something bad will happen to them. That's the thing I didn't know to expect - I expected crap sleep and all the rest of it. But then from day 1, WHAM - What if they get sick? What if they have an accident? What if someone hurts them? What if they struggle in life and I can't fix it for them? Ad sodding infinitum!

Soft play, kids parties, biff, chip and kipper

Poo, cry, sick, cry, dribble, cry.

Head lice the fuckers.

Sleep. I mean, sleep.

Apparently normal people do it for 8 hour blocks. I do not…

Any babies or toddlers you can borrow to look after for a few hours op?

My dc are older but I have a gorgeous niece who I just adore. She stayed over for two nights when she was three and my sister was having a baby. Blimey, I'd forgotten what it was like to get up at 6am and sit bleary eyed in front of cbeebies whilst an energetic toddler jumps around the room!

Also, think of the impact on your teen. I'm not convinced having a much younger sibling has been the best thing for eldest DC and I have a lot of regret about that. Teens still need you even if they pretend they don't, and a baby would severely limit the support they can be given (you'll probably be too tired!).

Juggling the different demands of kids of different generations is exhausting- it uses such different parts of your brain. They are unlikely to be close, they will probably just co-exist. Also would it mean a blended family? Also a recipe for disaster- even the best ones are riddled with jealousy, resentment and problems. My DP is a kind good man but I also have regrets about moving him into eldest DC's life while he was still a child himself. Wish I'd just waited.

Being unwell with a lively young child to look after.

All the crap for primary school.

Lack of sleep.
Never a minute’s peace.
Never being able to take your eyes off them for a minute from when they start crawling.
Toddler tantrums.
The drudgery of nappy changes, bottles/breastfeeding, endless washing and the general grinding misery of domestic servitude.
Wrangling with buggies & car seats.
The cost of childcare.
The school run.

Can you tell I have teenagers and am absolutely DONE with having more kids?

Even the sentimental Christmas memories of little ones believing in Santa and sleepy Christmas morning cuddles isn’t enough to wipe all of the above from my memory. I’ve got two weeks off work for Christmas and I will be enjoying the joys of life without little ones - lie-ins, afternoon naps, long baths, getting my teens to wash up or tidy up (result!) and generally having time to rest and have fun without crying babies, overtired toddlers or pre-schoolers asking Mummy to do something for them every 2 minutes.

@Comedycook

Soft play, kids parties, biff, chip and kipper

And all of this, too! 🤣

Childcare costs.

Pregnancy
Birth
CBeebies
No sleep
Booze restrictions
Buggies and slings
No spontaneous fun for 15 odd years
Don’t do it

I'm on my second reflux baby who has to be held upright for 30 mins after each feed and then wants to feed 30 mins after that! It's relentless and i haven't had a shower or combed my hair in 3 days because I haven't the energy.
I was just starting to get my life back for myself as well. I love him to bits of course but I honestly can't wait until he starts to sleep longer stretches but if he's anything like ny first that won't be until he's 6!