I'm so fucking broody. Tell me all the terrible things about having a baby.

[jennawenttorehab]

I'm really, really broody.

I have one 15 year old DC who I had young. Raising him has been a challenge to say the least. Freedom is within sniffing distance. So WHY am I suddenly so desperately broody?!

I know it's probably my hormones. So please remind me of all the rubbish parts of having a baby (or the wonderful parts about having kids so old they no longer need you!).

I had my 3rd recently and after 2 fairly normal pregnancies I’d never even considered I could have a premature and then very poorly baby who could potentially have lifelong disabilities.
Of course now he’s here I love him to bits but I wouldn’t have another because of it

Primary school clicky mum groups for years

They sometimes turn into banshee toddlers who can't speak but want things off high shelves. They point and grunt and you do the "this one? This one?" game while they screech and screech because you've got it wrong and when you finally get it right it's something they're not allowed so they have a tantrum that lasts all day and eventually you can't fucking stand it and give them the thing which is then immediately broken thus causing a tantrum which lasts until next week. Your thing is broken and they have screeched for 3 hours.

You just don't need that shit in your life op.

They turn into really mouthy 10 year olds

They turn in to stroppy gobby teenagers,
Yes i have one, a 17 year old dd.

I have a 5yo she a 2.5yo. I have slept last 7am approximately three times in the last five years. DS often wakes at 4.30 for the day.

The grinding relentless boredom of the early months. Postnatal depression. The complete loss of self.

Let me remind you what it's like to have a. Under five (I have two of them): I haven't slept more than four hours a night since September as they've both been so ill.

I got varicose veins.... errr not on my legs! Supposed to go away 6 weeks after birth. Six months later, they were still there. I stopped looking after that.

He was born with a fist by his face and effectively punched his way out. Stitches inside and out. Cervix feels very tippy now.

Baby is great though. Love him!

Babies? No problem! I’d do Labour, birth and then 0-3 years over and over again… if I could skip ages 6 onwards with my DD. She is a NIGHTMARE. But was SUCH a lovely baby.

Pelvic floor destruction, sleep, Norovirus.

That moment when you’ve put them to sleep, and you think they’re asleep, and you get into bed, and you’re about to fall asleep-

And they cry.

By 2050-climate catastrophes, climate refugees, food shortages. That every new consumer will worsen, and also have to suffer.
What’s appealing about paying for an adults uni fees, and at the same time having a pre-schooler?! Awful.

If you have a baby you except no sleep. If you have a child that has a health condition that could be no sleep for the foreseeable future. My middle child has such and I laugh to myself when toddler parent colleagues are moaning about a night with a luxurious 5 hours sleep.
(NB I'm not moaning, and don't resent it as it's my child, but it is a down side to parenting and a risk).

The constant worry about them. You literally never stop.

You'll never put yourself first ever again!! It's a change of identity. The on-going sleep deprivation is a torture you've probably not experienced before.

But babies are lovely and kids are awesome!!

I have a 4.8 year old that still wakes every couple of hours.
Tbf it's better than the every 45 minutes for the first 18 months.
I'm so exhausted that I cry pretty much every day. I feel like I barely function.

No
money
sleep
Sex
Time
life
Good holidays

Lots of
Poo
Crying
Illness
Mess
Worry
Shite school plays

RESIST / get a kitten

Possibility of prolapse, episiotomy, nicu stay, etc - things can go wrong. Saggy everything. Stretch marks. Sleepless nights. Dark eye circles from said sleepless nights. Teething. Milky puke smell. Colic screams. Leaving the house being a military operation.

Clingy phases were you cannot even pee without a child attached to you. Constant unwanted opinions from others.

Always being on the clock. It's ace when they're old enough to grab themselves a drink or a snack and can verbally tell you what's up with them. Oh and when you can tell them you need 5 minutes to yourself in peace and they're old enough to get it. Much less stressful!

You are not just having a baby but another human being which includes.......The awful School Run, years and years of awful bitchy playground mothers with thier endless gossip, homework arguments, early morning uniform searches , pack lunch fails, every day for years and years and years ....don't do it

Potty training

The world is horrid right now. Virus. Criminal, corrupt politicians (worse than ever). I feel sorry for my kids, and wouldn't bring another one into the world with it as it is.

Holidays in the school holidays are expensive, everywhere is overcrowded and you are so close to being able to book holidays in term time.
If you have a 15 year old by the time you have the other one in primary school people will assume you are the grandma, even if you look young/good etc.
Plastic crap all over your house, loads of washing, teenage years in another 13 years not something to look forward to.

They turn into teenagers. Moody, eyerolling, not-so-little selfish knobheads that occasionally hug you to make you forget the shite they put you through for years.

Can’t help you OP. I want one too