What was the biggest shock after having a baby?

[Thefaceofboe]

Mine was that babies don’t necessarily go to bed around 7pm. I always presumed bath and bed would be done at 7pm and baby would wake up for the day at 7am. My 3mo does 11pm - 11am

That breast milk doesn’t come out of one hole in the centre of your nipple but squirts like a shower head especially after you get out of the shower. I remember staring stupidly at it as I stood spraying like a human hose all over the bathroom floor.

Erm I'm not sure I should've clicked into this thread being 28 weeks pregnant.

• First few baby poos are black!
• The huge amount of tummy bruising from having a caesarean.
• Bump didn't go flat straight away
• That I didn't drop the whole 2.5st I put on immediately after having the baby
• Breastfeeding is a learned skill in terms of what works for you and the baby. It's not all "latch and go".
• Visitors fuss round the baby, nobody fusses round you!

One day you have a full night sleep. Next day you will NEVER get sleep like that again. Hanging by a thread with my 5mo. My username was from way before I was pregnant, believe me when I say sleep is the most important thing for me!

Tbh though, I seriously thought every baby has a solid nap. Nope, mine wakes up after 10-15 mins more often than not. That, is the biggest challenge for me. Can’t get anything done. Dh is at work during the day.

@TyrannosaurusRegina

Haha, it’s not that bad it’s fucking terrible

The anxiety.

All of the above and also that none of my clothes would fit. It hadn’t occurred to me I might need new clothes after giving birth.

Another one for me is how bizarre babies breathing is for the first few weeks. I thought there was something serious wrong with mine when she was first born

@RedSoloCup

With DD1 I literally had no Idea you'd bleed for weeks after??? I guessed a day or so as maternity pads were a thing but how rude!!!

Exactly this. And how you can bleed so heavily for so many weeks and not die. No wonder I was tired.

Breastfeeding was excruciating - I was terrified at 3am when DS brought up a pool of blood, but it turned out to be mine…..

And actually having a baby, with you nearly all the time and soo dependent, the reality of it was very different to my expectations, I think I thought a fed baby would coo happily on a babymat before nodding off for a nap…it took a while to get to grips with the reality and I was lucky, DS ate and slept really well!

The pain of the uterus contracting in the days following birth.
The pain of grazes, tears, episiotomy and stitches.
The pain of trying to wee with the above.
The fear of going for a shit.
The desperation of manually having to pick shit out of my own rectum as having to strain too much to get it out.
Thinking the only word to accurately describe the experience of mounting sleep deprivation was "brutalised"; the physical pain of it definitely rivalled childbirth in my book.

Why didn't anyone tell me about how your arm will ache due to bub...Dr said carpal tunnel syndrome is very common after child birth but no one told me!!!!

What feed on demand meant in real life.

After C section my lower belly skin feels 'dead'.

The bleeding afterwards, for weeks. I was not prepared for that at all.

That breastfeeding was not as natural as I thought it would be, I had visions of me being some sort of human cow. It didn't work out.

They just let you walk out of the hospital?? We were like a deer in headlights going home.

Formula feeding is sometimes a science- thought #2 would just take the same formula as #1, simple. Discovered reflux some many weeks later after posting on here in sheer desperation.

The tiredness. No words. Scarred for life.

@MajorBumsore

That breast milk doesn’t come out of one hole in the centre of your nipple but squirts like a shower head especially after you get out of the shower. I remember staring stupidly at it as I stood spraying like a human hose all over the bathroom floor.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes to this!! I was surprised by this with my baby.

That you will never sleep properly again.

That breastfeeding hurt and was relentless and no ody gave any consistent advice.

That a raft of total strangers: 4 midwives, two students and a dopey hv would all feel entitled to trail through my house waffling on the whole utter twaddle and each and every one saying something different to the others.

That if breastfeeding is so painful it is spoiling the joy if the baby then fgs switch to bottles. They grow up just fine.

Baby girl period - no one warned me my baby would have a withdrawal bleed

Bone crushing tiredness, you can’t describe it enough

Groundhog Day - when they’re teeny there’s not much (any) variety

Everything the Learn to do is a double edged sword - it’s progress. And at the same time presents new problems.

How sleep deprivation and broken sleep shreds your sanity and your personality and leaves you as basically a feral snarling animal.

How difficult breastfeeding would be when I was so desperate to make it work.

25 years since my first baby but I remember:

that doctors and nurses don't listen to women when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth and ante natal care. nearly killed me and then nearly rendered me infertile. Luckily they listened to my husband. bastards.

the piles I had after pushing

the fear of the first bowel movement after labour (in fairness my labour was horrendous). My sister called me first couple of days saying "I cry every time I go to the bathroom thinking of you" :)

How my body had changed/gone through hell and dh was same as always and yet we both had a baby.

The lack of sleep.

The worry.

That you calculated feeds from the time of the start of the last feed. I had a naturally 4 hourly breastfed baby. I had the same reaction when my mum told me you calculated the date of your next period from the start of your last - not the last day of your last period.

3 things for me
1 you bleed after a c section. It never occurred to me

2 that although you might breastfeed every say 3 hours, every feed might take 1 hour

3 the first couple of weeks is actually the easiest of all! I sat on the sofa and fed. Dh had a great paternity leave as he had loads of spare time. He just kept me supplied with food and drink

The realisation that it was no longer my choice when I got up in the morning. Let alone several times during the night.

Not having my own life and restructuring my identify as a Mum.
I clearly remember the day after I had my first, thinking I wish I could go back 48 hours and savour the lie in!!
Adjusting to being wholly responsible for a little life…
Everything I thought and felt about myself shattered, having to pick the pieces up and put them back in a new way. I once read that in giving birth we say goodbye to the maiden and birth ourselves as a mother. It’s the breaking and rebuilding of ego.
I’ve had a second now, and love being a Mum, best thing I’ve ever done.

How much your world shrinks.

How hard it is to achieve basic tasks.

@Bedtimeforever

One day you have a full night sleep. Next day you will NEVER get sleep like that again. Hanging by a thread with my 5mo. My username was from way before I was pregnant, believe me when I say sleep is the most important thing for me!

Tbh though, I seriously thought every baby has a solid nap. Nope, mine wakes up after 10-15 mins more often than not. That, is the biggest challenge for me. Can’t get anything done. Dh is at work during the day.

Mine was exactly the same! Hang in there- it does change and get better. Time seems grinding slow and suddenly they are 5 year old and you are left wondering what happened!