Still can't quite believe the ambulance service said 'we can't help you' :-O

[mineofuselessinformation]

DC2 (young adult) woke me at 6.30 this morning in severe abdominal pain. I ran through the usual things: painkillers, constipation etc.
By 7.30 it had escalated (pain score 8), so I called 111. They advised that DC needed to have help: they would call back within the hour or send a non-urgent ambulance. Advised if pain worsened to call 999. Happy with that although not good to see DC so unwell.
30 mins later pain had increased - DC slapping themselves on the leg to try to distract from the pain and in clear distress, so called 999. Ran through symptoms with them, told them 111 had advised to call.
Their response after asking questions: 'we can't help you'.
Luckily 111 called back five minutes later so I told them what had happened. They sent an ambulance which attended. Advised to take DC straight to A&E as symptoms weren't giving a clear picture as to what was wrong, clearly needed to be seen, but not at death's door just yet. (I don't have an issue with this but did tell them I was concerned at driving quite a distance with someone so unwell in the car in my own.)
We duly attended and the upshot was that DC has what used to be called a 'grumbling appendix'. We were told symptoms may well recur and to attend A&E if they do. (By this point the pain had settled a lot due to codeine.)

I've never experienced this before - the 999 call handler had no way of knowing nothing serious was wrong with DC, yet still gave me a flat no - and I was told to ring by 111. (And DC could have had a ruptured appendix, given their pain and symptoms.)
I don't know why I'm posting except to get it off my chest, but I am wondering if the call handler needs to have a bit more training?

There’s just not enough ambulances unfortunately, I had to wait nearly three hours on a freezing cold slate floor at the end of November with a leg I managed to break in 4 different places. The pain was indescribable and of course I went into shock almost instantly and became very unwell. I wasn’t an emergency though, there was no threat to my life so I had to just wait. It’s likely that the ambulances just had to go to people higher on the pecking order, I’m glad you felt able to drive him in the end. Hopefully he feels better soon.

I think you should have driven him there

I get that you were really anxious when your child was so unwell but it sounds like they did not really need an ambulance and this was proved correct when they were sent home from A& E with just stronger medication.

On MNs the advice is not to call an ambulance unless you are dead 🤔

@Bagamoyo1

Maybe, but when a medical service tells you to call 999 if a condition gets worse, you can understand why someone might feel inclined to do so.

@Fatandfifty49 it’s not about trying to be virtuous. My husband being in agony meant that he needed to be at a&e as soon as possible. Driving him there was the quickest way to achieve this. The fact that I am ex NHS staff may have helped my understanding of things though. I have been on the phone in a professional capacity trying to get an ambulance out for medical emergencies, and even years ago the wait times were pretty poor. I had no idea what was wrong with him but it was quite clearly very serious so my priority was getting him seen by someone ASAP. So fear rather than trying to be virtuous led my decision not to get an ambulance.

My child suffered severe scalding recently and we took her ourselves as an ambulance would have taken ages. Abdo pain would very rarely become life threatening

Where I am a newborn, days old baby who stopped breathing. Mother was informed they were next in the queue but no ambulance available. Thankfully they lived close to hospital and apparently if they had of been minutes later the baby would not have survived.

Abdo pain in a young adult really isn't a priority and 30 minutes isn't that far to drive. We live almost an hour from the nearest hospital and pre covid have had to drive a young baby/toddler/child who was struggling to breathe to hospital on multiple occasions due to the wait for ambulances. They really are for life or death situations particularly these days.

I would rather be in a car on the way to a hospital 30 minutes away with a potentially very unwell person than at home, waiting 4 hours for a category 1 ambulance who are so overstretched they may not arrive on time. I don't know what you think an ambulance crew can do for abdo pain other than pain relief...

@EssexLioness. I hope your DH is well now. I understand your reasoning and, given the way things are with the service at the moment, it was the right decision.

It is an emotive topic and I do feel angry that, currently, it is a service we feel we can't trust to help us. I have been in OPs situation myself (though hadn't tried to call and ambulance) and driven in heavy traffic with a child in need of medical attention and been unable to help him by keeping him awake because I was driving. In the end, it was not life threatening but, not being medically trained and in a panic, I didn't know that at the time.

[quote mineofuselessinformation]@Blue4YOU, the thought of a taxi didn't even cross my mind. (The cost would have been huge, but something I would have done if I'd thought about it... Although we are quite rural and taxis aren't easy to get hold of here.)
I hope your DC is well now.

For others, did you not read that I was panicking and was scared something would happen on the way? If we had been closer to the hospital I would have felt more confident in driving with no help for DC. The roads I used had either nowhere to easily stop (rural) or a dual carriageway, where I would have had no clue how to describe exactly where we were. I don't think that makes me a terrible person, just a human in a horrible situation, responsible for someone who was clearly very unwell.[/quote]
Have a look at the what 3 words app, handy for if you need to let someone know where you are but you don't know exactly. Hope your DC is feeling better.

Several years back now my dd was screaming in pain. It was awful. I have never seen her like it. I actually thought she was having a baby. I did call 999 I did not know what else to do they Were going to
send an ambulance. We were waiting for a while and they called back to say they were really busy . But theh were sending a cab. Dd was still screaming and scared to get in a cab. So I explained that the ambulance had to go to someone's who life was at risk. And although she was in loads of pain her life was not in danger . So she manged tk get to the hospital via cab that the hospital had sent.

Sounds like the NHS worked well here:

By 7.30 it had escalated (pain score 8), so I called 111. They advised that DC needed to have help: they would call back within the hour or send a non-urgent ambulance. Advised if pain worsened to call 999.

Good advice, they always say to at least call them back if things change, or as in your case call 999 if pain worsened

30 mins later pain had increased - DC slapping themselves on the leg to try to distract from the pain and in clear distress, so called 999. Ran through symptoms with them, told them 111 had advised to call.
Their response after asking questions: 'we can't help you'.

You correctly called 999 as advised so a 999 operator could make a new assessment. Outcome was factually accurate, he did not NEED an ambulance, so ambulances saved for life or death emergencies.

Luckily 111 called back five minutes later so I told them what had happened. They sent an ambulance which attended.

That’s actually really impressive that an ambulance did attend, and beyond what I would have expected.

Advised to take DC straight to A&E as symptoms weren't giving a clear picture as to what was wrong, clearly needed to be seen, but not at death's door just yet.

Ambulance crew confirm he does not need an ambulance, they are back on and ready for more life or death emergencies.

We duly attended and the upshot was that DC has what used to be called a 'grumbling appendix'

You safely drove your son there (kudos to you for facing your fears). He got seen and treated.

Apart from the fact 999 call handler should have explained if he needed treatment you should have driven him to A&E straight away (perhaps some more details needed for called when handler reaches end of script). Obviously if wasn’t the most simple outcome for you, as ambulance transport would have been easier, for the area NHS as a whole it was clockwork.

I think you made the wrong call and should have driven. However, @mineofuselessinformation, it's really easy for us to say that now with the benefit of being detached from the situation and knowing that everything was OK in the end - making decisions is really hard when you're the middle of a nasty situation and trying to fight back panic. You clearly care a lot for your DC, and it's understandable you didn't react perfectly.

You did the best you could in the moment. Don't beat yourself up, and don't let the vipers beat you up either. You'll probably react differently next time.

@Fatandfifty49, that must have been horrible.
The same DC managed to launch themselves off their changing table as a baby and land on the floor, head where their feet were IYSWIM, so totally reversed their position.
I'm calm enough now to recognise that DC, no matter what their age, can bring out that instinct to protect them.

The OP didn’t go straight to 999. She went to 111 first for advice. THEY advised her to call 999 if it got worse. She was just following that advice, give her a break.

OP, I also live rurally and this thread had made me think perhaps i ought to make an emergency plan. I am thinking of collating local taxi numbers, actually writing out the numbers of people who could help in case i lost my phone, and also downloading the 3 words app as, like you, if i was stuck somewhere en route to hospital I’d be stuck saying “three thousandth tree on the left, just after the sheep with the wonky eye” which isn’t going to help anyone find me!!

Any other thoughts of things we could do for the future? It is a sobering thought that, should anything happen, we’re pretty much on our own now.

Hope your son feels ok now x

I would have driven DC straight away myself (it's a half hour journey to my local hospital when it's quiet on the roads) and if that wasn't possible I would have called a taxi and begged and borrowed the money if I didn't have it. No way I would have messed around waiting for call backs or ambulances.

@Somebodylikeyew, yes I am going to install the three words app. As for taxi companies, there are very few where we live, and most are reluctant to take the fare as they would have to travel to collect IYSWIM.

Ultimately, I will have plans at hand because the Doctor at A&E has said this is likely to happen again. It's not as simple as knocking on someone's door. Most people round here are working and cannot spare the time as they have their own life to live. I don't have a massive network of friends, and those that I do have don't live locally.

It was and thankfully it was OK but I fully identify with how scary it is at the time

@berberry

On MNs the advice is not to call an ambulance unless you are dead 🤔

Or use A&E. Yes, the OP should have driven, and yes she would be very unreasonable to complain about the call handler, but there are some people here who definitely should have called an ambulance.

[quote mineofuselessinformation]@Blue4YOU, the thought of a taxi didn't even cross my mind. (The cost would have been huge, but something I would have done if I'd thought about it... Although we are quite rural and taxis aren't easy to get hold of here.)
I hope your DC is well now.

For others, did you not read that I was panicking and was scared something would happen on the way? If we had been closer to the hospital I would have felt more confident in driving with no help for DC. The roads I used had either nowhere to easily stop (rural) or a dual carriageway, where I would have had no clue how to describe exactly where we were. I don't think that makes me a terrible person, just a human in a horrible situation, responsible for someone who was clearly very unwell.[/quote]
I hope you don’t take offence at my post, but may I suggest if it hasn’t already been suggested downloading the foursquare app. It gives you a unique sequence that you can use to accurately let others know where you are.

Though I hope you child received the medical attention they needed and are able to make a speedy recovery. It’s difficult to know what to do for the best when a loved one is hurt or in pain.

@Fatandfifty49 thank you, yes DH is well now but he did require an emergency operation and was kept in for 5 days before several months recovery. Sorry to hear that you have been in OPs situation yourself. Much worse if it is a child involved, but I can relate to some extent with the panic and shock of suddenly dealing with a loved one in a serious medical condition. It is very hard to think straight and I think the OP has a clearer understanding of how she would do things differently if needed in the future.

That would have thrown me too @mineofuselessinformation and I suspect lots of the people posting on this thread would be a lot less sure of themselves in the cold light of day. The less said about the government the better!

I’m glad DC’s pain is easing, I hope there are no further instances.

I live in the same region as you and I had appendicitis earlier this year. 111 told me to go to the nearest walk in centre (45 minute drive away) & there was only a 40 minute wait apparently. Got there & that wait time didn't include the waiting outside before being checked in! The centre was awful & I ended up making a complaint. Both the centre & 111 were useless in that instance.
We then drove the couple miles to the nearest A&E and I had surgery 2 days later 🙏🏻 but that's a whole another story 😃
Hope your child is feeling better now.

Sorry I’m so embarrassed I suggested the wrong app, I can see you’ve already been recommended to download three words app. Sorry.

Hope all is well.