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Original poster

My husband is thinking about joining the Masons and I am horrified

280 replies

SovietTrumpet · 20/12/2021 18:35

I hate boys’ clubs and silly rituals etc and doing each other favours. He thinks it will help him at work. Arguments please against and in favour…

OP posts:
RobertaFirmino · 20/12/2021 22:00

I think the rolled up trouser leg is to show that they are not wearing shackles - in other words, they are free men.

CathyorClaire · 20/12/2021 22:01

Well, if you raise funds for the local hospice, that's where they go

You missed 'overwhelmingly'.

TheGarbageManCan · 20/12/2021 22:01

It just makes me think of that episode of the simpsons when Homer joins the stonecutters 😂😂😂

GeorgiaGirl52 · 20/12/2021 22:03

My uncle died of a sudden heart attack (age70). He had been a Mason, but none of the family knew it. He had a pin, but never went to meetings, etc. The day after he died two men showed up at my aunt's door. One had an envelope of $2000 cash (for needful things). The other stood quietly around and basically did Everything from making cups of tea to walking the dog. The day of the funeral they made sure there was a private guard at the house to keep it from being robbed during the funeral. Never knew their names but they were a Godsend for our family.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 20/12/2021 22:05

@ClaudiaJ1

I'm atheist so no skin in the game, Christianity / other religions don't operate under a policy of secrecy and closed doors if you don't make a formal commitment. Quite the opposite in fact, they actively share their beliefs, traditions and rituals openly.

Except for Scientology I suppose, which is also a very problematic organisation.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 20/12/2021 22:06

Sorry there was a missing 'but' there.

@ClaudiaJ1

I'm atheist so no skin in the game, but Christianity / other religions don't operate under a policy of secrecy and closed doors if you don't make a formal commitment. Quite the opposite in fact, they actively share their beliefs, traditions and rituals openly.

Except for Scientology I suppose, which is also a very problematic organisation.

TerriblyNaice · 20/12/2021 22:13

@DillonPanthersTexas

They make nice jam jars though.
😂
HeyupitsChristmas · 20/12/2021 22:23

My Grandfather was a Mason - the lodge paid for his funeral and I've known a few others.

Every one of them was decent, kind and very happy to talk about it; it's something I've found fascinating for a long time.

I've also known a few Rotary/Round Tablers but they were quite cliquey (as expected to be honest).

As with most things in life, there is prejudice, favoritism, bigotry etc etc and it's not only limited to organised groups.

madisonbridges · 20/12/2021 22:29

My grandad was a mason so my dad joined, but he said it was because they did great meals. Dad loved a good night out chinwagging. I don't think he was a member of a lodge, he just went as a guest. Just because films portray the masons as dubious, it doesnt mean that they are.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2021 22:31

@ClaudiaJ1

As an apparent christian you appear to need reminding that "christ" did not in fact create the earth.

HTH

GlomOfNit · 20/12/2021 22:33

Lol at the comparison with the WI, who are obviously world-renowned for sexism, secrecy and doing each other career-enhancing favours!

Well if they ARE, I shall join them forthwith!

My grandad was a Mason. It was sort of the family embarrassment. Jeez, he never stopped going on about it, it was the big Thing in his life. I don't think it did him major work favours, but that's going back to the 60's so maybe it did and I'll never know. He had a wardrobe full of regalia we weren't allowed to touch, so obviously did. Grin When he died, I nicked his tiny Mason 'prayer book' (some sort of order of ritual, lots of very daft diagrams) and I'm quite fond of it, daft old thing.

Having said that, I don't get all the people saying 'JOIN, it'll help him at work, why would you be against that?' You don't see anything immoral about an organisation that privileges a very small group of men in exchange for their money and obligations? Hmm

Uncurtailed · 20/12/2021 22:38

After the National Lottery, they are the 2nd biggest organisation in the UK who raise/donate money for charity. £millions every year?

I think there is probably a lot of misinformation out there about them - but from what I understand it is a social club, much like any bowling club, conservative club, Womens Institute or other group of likeminded individuals?

I don't see anything wrong with it?

dropthevipers · 20/12/2021 22:40

FFS. He's thinking about joining the Mason's, not Baader-Meinhof.

girlmom21 · 20/12/2021 22:43

@GeorgiaGirl52

My uncle died of a sudden heart attack (age70). He had been a Mason, but none of the family knew it. He had a pin, but never went to meetings, etc. The day after he died two men showed up at my aunt's door. One had an envelope of $2000 cash (for needful things). The other stood quietly around and basically did Everything from making cups of tea to walking the dog. The day of the funeral they made sure there was a private guard at the house to keep it from being robbed during the funeral. Never knew their names but they were a Godsend for our family.
How did they know he died and why did nobody ask their names?
AnnieSnap · 20/12/2021 22:47

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Shows how ignorant you are. I am lady Mason and there is so much more to it than that. Bet you didn't know we existed either. Are you always so controlling?
You do know that someone can be horrified without being controlling? Is it being a ‘lady Mason’ that gives you the attitude?
youvegottenminuteslynn · 20/12/2021 22:50

@GeorgiaGirl52

Why didn't anyone ask their names? Why didn't they volunteer them?
Why did everyone let unnamed strangers guard a house that was apparently in danger of being robbed?

It's all this secrecy that is sinister. It's so unnecessary. "We're Bill and Bob, we've known your uncle for years as we're all masons - is there anything we can help with as we've heard he passed away and we though the world of him."

Why show up unnamed with an envelope of cash and guard the house like a couple of heavies?!

I'm sorry about your uncle and glad someone helped your auntie. Just don't get all the secrecy masons seem to bloody love making a big deal of!

Damnloginpopup · 20/12/2021 22:52

@dropthevipers

FFS. He's thinking about joining the Mason's, not Baader-Meinhof.
Love it! 😁
Masonwhat · 20/12/2021 23:13

My husband is in two lodges, and I have seen no sign of charitable work. Maybe they make donations somewhere, but the only activities (and he is heavily invested) are rituals and boozy dinners.

The networking is quite strong, but because they come from a variety of careers, to sure it has ever been directly applicable for a specific career path. It is also quite expensive.

My husband was into it before we met, so no grounds for dismissal, just lots of eye rolling when he can’t do whatever house/child activity because he ‘has to spend the weekend learning ritual’

The others that I have met have been lovely, though I suspect quietly misogynistic. Definitely would not encourage it as a hobby, though.

AnnieSnap · 21/12/2021 00:50

@WinterDeWinter

I can't believe we are still saying 'lady mason'. Partly in feminist grounds and partly on Hyacinth Bouquet grounds.
Absolutely! It’s like a parallel universe isn’t it?
PyongyangKipperbang · 21/12/2021 00:50

A lot of people have mentioned "family money" is there an expectation of heavy personal donations or is it very costly even before donations?

Totallydefeated · 21/12/2021 00:56

@dropthevipers

FFS. He's thinking about joining the Mason's, not Baader-Meinhof.
Grin

Quite.

OP, judging from the responses on this thread, I can see why you might be wary, but ultimately I’m sure you realise it has to be his choice, provided that it doesn’t take unreasonable amounts of time and money. Just as you wouldn’t expect him to veto you doing something you really want to do.

Marchitectmummy · 21/12/2021 04:11

@TwilightSkies

Are there any non-white Masons?
Yep there are and to blow more minds there are also working class people in them, mu husband's lodge has a baker and shop assistant. I only know that as I've met them, there may be others I haven't met.

In terms of raising money, everyone pays subs to the Lodge some of that is converted into charity donations and then the rest is raised via voluntary contributions so no it doesn't have to be expensive to be part of.

There are so many untruths on this thread, people just love to create negative statements about things that are unknown to them.

PhilCornwall1 · 21/12/2021 04:50

@gofg

Why are you horrified? Surely it isn't going to impact on your life, and it is your DH's choice, nothing to do with you. You hating "boys' clubs and silly rituals" is your issue, not his.
Oh it will impact her life one way or the other.

I've listened to my mother whinge about it for the last 50 years, especially around how much money is spent on it.

She has said 2020 was a blessing, as the bloody lodges were shut.

kikipie · 21/12/2021 06:31

Not unknown to me, as previously stated

Mybalconyiscracking · 21/12/2021 06:36

My FIL is quite high up in the Masons. He is a total sweetheart, there is no way he is up to anything illegal or otherwise nefarious.

And on the upside, I think that the family won’t have to pay for his funeral.