Trapped toddler parents: support through winter and beyond

[squishymamma]

Following on from the previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4292353-Trapped-toddler-parents-Inspiration-and-support-needed-through-the-summer-hols

Not the most inventive name but apt I think...

Evening! How was everyone's day?

@chocolatetrifle, hope your fil funeral went ok. Was thinking about you!

We've had a bad day today- ds stayed for lunch at nursery today for the first time, he apparently freaked out when they had to stop playing for lunch, wouldn't let anyone put him into the highchair and refused to eat just throwing his food on the floor. I spoke to his key worker when I picked him up and it seems like he's fine as long as he is playing and interacting with the other kids but as soon as the teachers need to pick him up or interact with him he just goes mental.
Got him home and he wouldn't nap, we're transitioning to 1 nap a day and I'm trying to keep him in the same routine as nursery - he slept less than 30 mins so was in a foul mood the rest of the afternoon, kicked me in the face when I was changing his nappy then literally launched himself out of my arms when I lifted him up resulting in him headbutting the floor cue him and me both in tears!
Dh has just put him to bed and I'm now catastrophising (is that even a word? My brain is mush!) thinking he'll never settle at nursery and how we've got less than 3 weeks til he needs to be there full time

Evening all and welcome @Wednesdayafternoon - sounds like you're in the right place! Hats off to you for solo parenting, single parents are superheroes

@Camomila hope you got some sleep today? Maybe he'll come back to a normal routine soon...

@Chocolatetrifle have been thinking of you today, how did everything go? I think crying in front of our DC is good, shows them it's not a bad thing - my DM made me feel so ashamed about crying as a child that I felt embarrassed even doing it in front of DH. You're doing a wonderful job dealing with everything, and I really hope your DS1 gets a tonsillectomy (even though it is a procedure) because then you won't have these constant illnesses!

@Scotabroad24 the settling in period can be really hard and I can imagine it feels like he'll never settle, but he will, promise I've learned transitions are really hard for toddlers, DS1 is now having several meltdowns when sitting down to the table, going outside etc. I know it doesn't help the feelings but just persevere and soon your DS will be skipping in without even waving goodbye like mine does

@Motherofmonsters what a drama. Is your machine still under warranty? Can you get a new one? Hope your DS is still okay and that you got some sleep. Soon weekend

I had a lovely walk with the group yesterday, made me feel a bit normal again. Had my 6 week doctors checkup today so finally cleared for exercise which is great news because it keeps me sane! DS1 is back to his normal happy self after whatever it was he had earlier this week. I just wish he'd say more words. He's learned the word "boat" now, and the other day he said "what is this" and I almost cried

Any weekend plans?

I hope today went okay @chocolatetrifle, thinking of you.

Please don't worry about his struggling with transitions @scotabroad24, it's a totally normal thing and they will have loads of strategies to make it easier for him. I promise he will settle.

Glad your walk and 6 week check went okay @squishymamma. He'll get there with his words, DS didn't really talk for ages and now he will not stop talking..ever.

The washing machine saga continues, when I rang yesterday I was meant to be called this morning. Obviously they didn't, when I chased it up apparently when the engineer mumbled pump fitted and rubbish plumbing before he shuffled out the door he was meant to say.. the pump has broken, I'll put one on order and ring you next week to arrange fitting...
Luckily it's under warranty until 2028 but what a massive pain this is.

We've had a good day, they've played relatively nicely just the usual squabbles. The day was dragging but my mum said to go down hers as he hasn't been sick anymore so they had fun there. She had some new playsets she'd picked up in a charity shop so I drank tea and chatted while they amused themselves. Now tiding up the chaos I'm my house while listening to my audiobooks. DS is very much awake but in his room.

Hi everyone, thank you for thinking of us, you are all so lovely! I genuinely think we'd all have a great time if we could all meet up if we all lived locally. Our kids would all play together perfectly I'm sure too.

Made it through the day. DS1 made it to preschool , although he wasn't 100 percent. I had no other childcare as my mum was in hospital having her heart procedure investigation so took dS2 to the funeral, he was very very well behaved bless him. My sister was with us to help too. Anyway, collected DS1 from preschool after the services and brought him home but he had lots of tummy ache from his clarithromycin antibiotics. I didn't really want to take him to the church or crematorium as he is at that age where there are lots of questions and I'm sure he would have got upset, plus I ended up in tears, again, which he doesn't like seeing!

@Scotabroad24, how old is DS? If he is 2 ish then the throwing food is so normal and not sitting still etc plus tantrums, my 2 year old is the same. Your DS will settle, I never believed my ds1 would but he did and you will get there too. One session at a time. @Motherofmonsters suggested I try getting some books about preschool which I did and read them every night and they really helped loads.

@Motherofmonsters, glad you made it to your mum's and had a decent afternoon. Hopefully the washing machine will be fixed soon for you.

@squishymamma, I bet you any money shortly after your DS1 turns two that the words will just start spilling out...he will get there in his own time, plus as you say, he is hearing two languages.

Sleep well everyone x

Morning all!

I've just dropped ds off at nursery, he's staying for lunch again today, so I'm enjoying a coffee in peace and quiet

@squishymamma glad your 6 week check went well and that you got out for your walk, spending time with other mums definitely helps with staying half sane i find. Sounds like your ds is getting on well with his words, will he be bilingual? We live in Portugal so dh speaks to ds in portuguese and I speak English to him. I've read that kids who are hearing 2 languages are usually a bit slower to speak. My dnephew who is just a bit older than ds already has about 10 words as he's just hearing English.

Glad you had a good day apart from the washing machine saga @motherofmonsters!

@chocolatetrifle, ds is only 14 months, so no understanding really of where he is or why. He was a lockdown baby for the first 6 months or so of his life so he really isn't used to any other adults being around him. He has also always been a rubbish sleeper and its taken me a long time to get him to have decent naps, he wont sleep in his pram or the car - only in his cot in the dark with white noise playing so I'm really worried about the nap situation at nursery too, will they refuse to have him if he wont sleep and disrupts all the other kids? Arghhh so many worries!

Glad to hear all went okay @Chocolatetrifle. Hope DS1 feels better today and the antibiotics are working. I agree, we'd be great friends in real life and our DC would too

@Motherofmonsters glad you have parents close by to help with washing! What a palava eh. Also glad to hear your DS is well again.

@Scotabroad24 hope your DS has a good day today. Nursery will manage to get him to sleep, don't worry! Children are magical, they understand that a different environment means different things...DS1 refuses to sleep in his pram when we try but he does it automatically without them even needing to rock him at nursery!

Yes DS1 (and DS2 of course) are bilingual so that might play into it. DH is miffed that the vast majority of DS1's words are English

We've been to the clinic today and DS2 has had his rotavirus vaccine, off to do the food shop now and then need to figure out what to do this weekend. Had a message from nursery to say an employee and a child in DS1's class have got COVID so we'll see what happens with us...

@Scotabroad24, the 2's can start well before 2 in my experience so it all sounds totally normal. Agree too that nursery and preschools can do wonders for naps. My ds1 was too old for nap when he started last year and dS2 is not yet at nursery so no personal experience but I'm sure they will do their best to settle your DS for a nap. One day at a time.

@squishymamma, DS1 is a bit better thanks , he was up for a while in the night and was hungry so had to sort him some cereal at 1.30.

Hope your dS2 is ok after the rotavirus jab, I'm sure both mine got funny tummies after it.

DS1 is off preschool, so we've had a lovely morning all in together, it's been so peaceful, without any fights or squabbles or tears-NOT! I'm sure lockdown has given me a long standing fear of being in the house with them for any length of time, like some form of PTSD! If only they could co-exist happily all of the time!

Thanks everyone for calming me down I'm definitely worrying too much - I'm sure ds will get into the swing of nursery. He had another 30 min nap today at lunchtime today when he came home and is now an overtired wreck, I can hear dh upstairs trying to calm him down so he can go to bed. We're going to stick to the meal and nap routine over the weekend too so hopefully that'll help.

Whats everyone else's plans?

@Scotabroad24, it's perfectly natural to be worried, it's a big new change for you. Where are you in Portugal? I've only been to the Algarve once myself on holiday but it was lovely.

I'm in bed with DS1, dS2 now has a fever. No wonder as DS1 deliberately coughed in his face yesterday . dS2 is having his milk bottle and I've stripped him off to cool him down. His temp is down now after calpol. I really don't like it when they get fevers but I know it's the natural response to fighting any infection.

Anyway, hope everyone has a good night. I need the loo but trapped under dS2 for the time being.

Sleep well 💤.

Having a day in today, it's pouring down anyway. dS2 had high temperatures overnight and was sick (negative lateral flow), but seems a bit brighter today and having a long nap now. Have got some cleaning done today. Planning a bit of a pamper spa night in the bathroom if boys settle well and stay asleep as am feeling in need of a bit of self-care.

How is everyone?

Hope Ds2 is ok @Chocolatetrifle! And you are getting to do your spa night!
Well done for getting through the first days of settling in @Scotabroad24 and fingers crosses for next week.
Glad you are getting on ok with new baby @squishymamma!
Have been a bit absent as I am really struggling with DS 16.5 months - he is just relentlessly needy of attention and its hard with a 3yr old and all the house stuff/ meals etc as well. He will not be still for a moment and can climb up everything to put himself in danger. He also does not watch telly at all so its hard to even get 5 minutes! I am going back to work next week (only 2days per week for first few weeks) as well and I am feeling very unenthusiastic about everything. Think its the time of year!

Good morning, I am reporting from small, tasteful soft play centre with a big coffee. Can't cope with big ones when they are busy at the moment.

How is everyone?

I'm here with DS1 and ds2 is at home with DH, both are ok now and have recovered from the bugs. Im sure the Sambucol may have helped them get over the bug quicker ( I am justifying its cost here).

@Lostthetastefordahlias. How are you feeling about your return to work soon?

@Chocolatetrifle glad they're better, bugs are not fun! How was soft play? I still haven't ventured into one yet...though I'm willing to bet DS1 would looooove them!

@Scotabroad24 hope the sticking to routine helps this week! It's definitely an adjustment but you'll be through it in no time

@Lostthetastefordahlias totally understand this! I'm also a bit bleh about everything at the moment, definitely January blues even though we're now in February!

We had a nice time today at church and then with some friends. Did get a text though to say several employees, kids and parents in DS1's nursery now have covid so am mentally preparing myself for the onslaught

DS1 has been in such a good mood this weekend, I've been trying my best to absorb and enjoy every moment because I know it won't last! He's also saying a few more words so I'm hoping a "speech leap" is just around the corner...

So glad the Ds are better @Chocolatetrifle. Wish we had a small tasteful soft play near us! I don’t want to go back to work at all. I feel like I missed out on so much with DD (3yrs) as I was CEV and we all had to stay in for a year, and she is going to school in september - I just want to be at home with her and ds til then. I am pt though - 3 days a week so I am just going to take each day as it comes and not worry about it - I have set a target of being there for 8 weeks and seeing how I feel.
Fingers crossed for the speech leap @squishymamma - DD’s behaviour is so much better now she can express herself more.

Morning everyone, start of a new week.

Soft play was fine thank you, I had to bribe DS1 with jelly tots to come out and go home though.

DH is off today and is taking dS2 out for a bit this morning so I'm going to do some work. DS1 is at preschool.

This week I'm going to try to do some valentine's Day crafts with the DS's, cut up some sponges in heart shapes and get the paints out and make some pictures.

Hope everyone is ok.

Happy Monday everyone! I always feel brighter at the start of a new week although it never lasts long.

@chocolatetrifle we live in the algarve, dh is born and bred here and would never want to move. Luckily I love it here too most of the time! Where abouts in the algarve did you holiday?
Glad your ds's are all better now! Your arts and crafts sound fab, I never have the patience but justify it by thinking ds will do plenty at nursery.

@lostthetastefordahlias I know what you mean about you feel you've missed out on being off with the dc. We were in near constant lockdown where we live on my year at home with ds. Giving yourself 8 weeks to try being back at work is a great idea, I'm also going back in March but full time, unfortunately have no other option. Could you put it off until your dd is at school if you really struggle?

@squishymamma keeping my fingers crossed for you that you all avoid covid! Nurseries and schools are just rife with it aren't they.

Ds went to nursery again this morning just until 12pm, they said he was much happier today. We will try him tomorrow until 4pm so including nap time which I'm really nervous about.
Has anyone got any tips for lengthening ds nap? We are transitioning to 1 nap a day as that's what he will have at nursery but for some reason he is only sleeping for maximum 45 mins when he really needs to be doing 2hrs or so. He used to have a morning nap that lasted about 1.5hrs, then usually another 45 mins or 1hr in the afternoon. Nap now starts at 12pm, used to be around 11ish so it isn't wildly different. He's waking up still clearly exhausted and its a struggle getting him to bedtime!

@Scotabroad24, it was a hotel in Acoteias in 2011, so a long time ago now!

Is your DS going to nursery every day now at the moment? Perhaps he will end up napping for longer on the days he is at home, especially if he is tired. It's difficult when moving to the one nap and it can take a few weeks I think to get in the new routine.See how he gets on tomorrow with nap at nursery fingers crossed for you.

We've been to the bakery and library this afternoon , had to leave when both DS's started running around but they did behave for a good while before doing so. Looking forward to bedtime!

The valentine's heart sponge stamps painting! A true masterpiece . I also picked up some little ceramic hearts for painting, DS1 kept painting the hearts black!

Oh thats lovely @Chocolatetrifle. Love festivals/ events like valentines, Easter etc so much more now I have the DC!
Thanks for the understanding @Scotabroad24 - hope this week is going ik for you?
I have been at work the last couple of days and have really missed the dc, but omg bedtimes after they have been in nursery all day have been dreadful so far!! I am so tired already this week!
Hows the indoor gym going @Motherofmonsters - is it getting used?

I have a question… does anyone have any day out ideas for 3yr olds that arent super tiring? I just have Dd on Friday and I’d like to do something special, but I am conscious she will be very tired from nursery so ideally want something quite restful as well. Maybe we should just stay at home actually!!

@Lostthetastefordahlias, how about the garden centre? .

Do you have an aquarium close by?
Or how about a train journey, get off after a few local stops and go into a nice cafe for some cake?
Indoor trampoline park, but that might be too energetic if she's a bit tired, but it might be ok for an hour or so.

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been quiet last few days, I have been reading along.

Indoor gym is really good @lostthetastefordahlias it's been used everyday. I just need check DS isn't being silly when he's on it.
When I've had a day with just me and DS I've just done pottering things - go to the park, library and then I like to go to a charity shop and give him £2 or £3 to pick something.

We went to a new toddler group this morning, it was a really friendly group so will be back. I think I'm going to have to drop DDs nap as she's taken ages to go to bed the last couple days.

I've had the phrases he's been amazing in the classroom and he's had a super day said about DS this week so maybe we're getting somewhere. Hopefully it'll continue, he's full of cold though which weirdly makes him struggle less.

I love your heart picture ideas @chocolatetrifle I really should do more bits with them.

@Motherofmonsters that's brilliant that your DS has got good comments at school. Hope his cold gets better soon. I like to do painting and crafty things but everything does always end in a mess. Perhaps your DD is just having a temporary nap strike.

I'm weaning dS2.off his night bottle of milk addiction. Night 2 this far and he's just having water instead now.

I've ordered some ducks and nets for the tuff tray, so I think the first outdoor tuff tray experience is going to be a sort of 'hook a duck type' game with water.

Sleep well everyone.

Evening all, hope you're all well?

Have been a bit MIA just because it's been really busy this week for no particular reason. Still no covid here but 6 of the 9 kids in DS1's class have had it and DH witnessed one of his colleagues testing positive today so we're still just waiting . Unless we've already had it without realising, which would be odd.

DS1's good mood has for the most part continued this week, apart from his tantrums which have been getting more intense and especially bad around DH who doesn't take any nonsense. Definitely boundary testing and does not understand why he has to wait at all, which is exhausting. Feel like a broken record writing this

It's Mother's Day in Norway this Sunday so I'm hoping we're all well and can go do something like a walk to celebrate. DS2 is still sleeping well so I'm trying to squeeze maximum enjoyment out of it, because I know when the 4 month sleep regression hits I'll be super grumpy.

@Chocolatetrifle how's the weaning going? Loved the Valentine's Day craft, maybe I should stop being lazy and try something similar.

@Motherofmonsters glad to hear DS is starting to find his feet, must be nice for you to see. It's good you've found a decent toddler group, I'm still struggling with that here!

@Lostthetastefordahlias second the cafe idea, or if you have a cinema that does showings of short children's films? Or maybe a petting zoo?

@Scotabroad24 so glad to hear your DS is starting to settle into nursery life. For us it took a while for DS1 to adjust to just one nap and he was exhausted for a while, we just put him to bed when he was showing tired signs so he didn't get overtired and then he slowly readjusted himself. Even now his naps vary between 45 mins and almost 3 hours

Anyway I've babbled on long enough, hope everyone gets some sleep tonight!

Evening,

Has anyone seen my period around.... I'm sure it's coming as I'm all crampy but it's coming up to 6 days late now...

I feel like I've had a really busy day but it's not been really, shopping was delivered this morning and then we went to toddler group this afternoon. DD has been really crying today not tantrumming but sobbing as she wants a cuddle and was asking to lie down on the school run so I'm hoping she's not going to be sick.

Glad your DS is mostly still in a good mood @squishymamma, the impatience drives me crazy as well. I hope COVID manages to stay away from you all so you can have a lovely Mother's day