Trapped toddler parents: support through winter and beyond

[squishymamma]

Following on from the previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4292353-Trapped-toddler-parents-Inspiration-and-support-needed-through-the-summer-hols

Not the most inventive name but apt I think...

I'd love to have a floor tantrum occasionally I'd just wail "but I don't want to clean the bathroom/look at spreadsheets" for 5 minutes and then someone could distract me with a biscuit!

Off to Asda in a bit for cake ingredients for DS2s birthday - have ordered a TRex cake tin from Amazon which should be arriving today.

Also hoping your appointments go ok today @Lostthetastefordahlias

@squishymamma, oh dear, it must be one of those mornings. I've been there, including with the swearing, unfortunately my DS1 has remembered one particular swear word he heard from me and brings it out every now and again at home ,. I have to try to turn it into something else.

@Motherofmonsters good for you. Hope it helps. The day always ends, soon be bedtime, and repeat the mantra!

@Camomila, that sounds like a lovely cake, do send us a picture when you've done it!

Grandad is here entertaining my dS2 whilst I do some work, but I'm struggling to stay awake and focus.

Haha I read my post back and realised I could have been referring to DH the whole time what a great mental picture! Sometimes I have a tantrum when I lock myself in the bathroom for a while @Motherofmonsters...

Glad to hear I'm not alone on the gentle parenting fails, it's a great concept but when you run out of patience it just falls apart! Ah well, I'll be better when I pick him up from nursery

Have some coffee and biscuits yourself @Chocolatetrifle or treat yourself to chocolate, I've eaten quite a few squares this morning!

Sometimes I think the creators of the gentle patenting concept may not have created such a thing if they spent anytime in my house! It's completely impossible to be calm and rational all the time unless you are Flop off Bing or Joy off Topsy and Tim or similar.

Have a good day everyone.

@motherofmonsters, hope the mcdonalds and coffee does you the world of good!
Might try the Tomm method, looks nice and structured.

@lostthetastefordahlias how strange 4am is my usual wake up time too even is ds is sleeping through! Must be ingrained in us. Hope your appointments go OK today.

@squishymamma haha gentle parenting is all fine and well til it doesn't work and shouting is the only way i grew up with a shouty Mum and promised myself I wouldn't be the same however looks like I'm headed in that direction rapidly!

T-rex cake sounds amazing @camomila how old will your ds be?

We had ds nursery visit yesterday. It looks lovely and all the kids looked happy and were playing. They have great equipment and lots to do. I cried the whole way home though and most of this morning, it just feels so bloody unnatural to hand my baby over to someone else to look after. He'll be there 10 hours a day mon-fri and my mum will do childcare on a Saturday as full time is 6 days per week here.
Why does no one tell you these things?! You hear how hard newborns are etc etc but not how it feels like your going to be missing half of yourself when they go to daycare/nursery

@Scotabroad24 He'll be 2 and is dinosaur obsessed! I've taught him a party trick with his plastic dinos where I go "bring mummy the stegosaurus/trex/ptreodactyl" etc. and he'll fetch them for me.

(He's probably not a baby genius though as all other animals are "cow?" or "quack" )

Aah @Scotabroad24 unmumsnetty hug - I get the working mum guilt too sometimes, but a lot of the time I think it's worse for us than it is for them - DS2 shuts the nursery stair gate behind DH in the mornings and yells "bye bye" at him without a backward glance.

My washing machine has broken! Just the thing I needed to happen, got to wait 24hours for an engineer to ring me.

Other than that had a good day considering, been to Lidl and then toddler group. The children have not tried to kill each other to much either. Just counting down the minutes to bedtime

Hope everyone has had a good Afternoon

@Motherofmonsters, oh no, what a day! Roll on bedtime. Hope you get a better night's sleep tonight.

@Scotabroad24, sending you a hug and some positive thoughts, it will all be ok.

@Camomila, I've ordered 'Goodbye Mog', thanks for the suggestion.

@camomila thats amazing! Bet people are so impressed when they see that trick

@motherofmonsters hope you got a good sleep last night!

Thanks everyone for the support re my gigantic mum guilt! Ds has just tipped the dogs water bowl over himself and thrown my keys out the window already today so now I'm seeing the upside of nursery

God I'm sooo tired I took the baby to bed for a feed in the hope she'd sleep but actually I fell asleep whilst she got off the bed and went to play. I say baby but she's one and walks and we have a stair gate and my H was working from home. But Christ I've had to drink coffee all day to get through it.

I hope everyone is less knackered. In other news I went to lidls as they have loads of lush wooden toys coming in but I couldn't see any at ours.

Well, the theme of today here has been whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge. ...starting at 6.00.

Nothing else to report.

The day always ends, it's nearly bedtime, the day always ends, it's nearly bedtime.....

@Chocolatetrifle yes all whinges here too from both kids. Must be something in the air.

My response now is "I can't understand a word you say when you speak in that voice". Repeat.

My night went better but still not great. Mostly because I kept falling asleep in DDs room. They were both up early.

We've been to baby ballet and then a trip to the Eden project with a friend. It was good, I haven't had any quiet time today though so very ready for bed. DD is nearly sorted and then I need to get DS in the bath.

Washing machine engineer isn't coming out until Tuesday afternoon which is annoying

@Motherofmonsters sorry to hear about your washing machine! Not ideal. Glad to hear you had a good day.

@pompomseverywhere I would totally do this too hope you get a good night's sleep tonight.

DS1 has also been in a whingey mood today, he's really testing his boundaries at the moment. Had to abort the bath because he refused so forcefully that when I lifted him up and put him in the bath he recoiled from the running water so quickly he fell - no concussion thankfully but loads of tears and complaints. I'm very conflicted in my emotions, a mix of guilt for forcing him and frustration that he's been like this all day. Don't get me started on the "washing hands after getting in from nursery" fight we have every single day

I'm knackered too despite spending the day trapped on the sofa with a cluster feeding DS2...so bored of TV now!

Hope everyone gets some sleep tonight.

Good morning, hoping for a less whingey day today.

How is everyone? How was everyones' night?

Today we've made Gruffalo bites, which are basically chocolate rice Krispie cakes with peanut butter and this afternoon we are planning to go and buy some Duplo and more Lego as both boys are into them at the moment. I think my sister is coming with me because it's chaos going to Smyth's toys and I always end up sweating managing two excited boys in there!

Wooden toys in Lidl sound good @pompomseverywhere. Might try to get there at some point.

Last night dS2 only woke twice and slept until 6.45. I am hoping we might be coming out of the 2 year sleep regression which I'm sure we've been in for about 2 months or more. DS1 slept til half 6 so I am feeling a bit more refreshed unlike my usual tired haggard self. Probably speaking too soon. Have started taking Floradix iron and vitamins so that might be helping. Sleep is so important. I don't think I've had an uninterrupted night in over 4 years now. Anyway, I'll stop going on about myself now....

Is this a toddler support thread ?

Feeling very overwhelmed today! I have cried and shouted I am not proud of myself today and not the mum I want to be !
I am due on which probably doesn't help and decided to stay in today with almost 4 and almost 2 year old !
I feel bad that I can't stay at home with them for a full day without being driven utterly mad what is wrong with me!!!!

@giraffes2021 , it most definitely is! Welcome. Also owner of a 4 year old and 2 year old! We are here to help! It's so hard being at home with them all day I find too so you are most definitely not alone. Get yourself a cuppa and put the tele on for them and relax for a bit or hide in the kitchen for a bit.

I'm off to collect DS1 from preschool now so the chaos resumes!

@giraffes2021 absolutely nothing wrong with you at all! I think everyone here will agree that staying in all day with toddlers is absolute carnage. I regret it everytime I do it!

@chocolatetrifle I'm glad youre really more refreshed this morning. Sleep is so important, I didn't realised how much until it was taken away from me! I like the sound of your gruffulo cakes, I might try it with mine.

I've just got back from taking DS to his eye follow up. No problems they think he just lost concentration half way through the first time which sounds entirely plausible. He's got another therapy session later so it's a day of appointments. DD went literally dancing into nursery this morning so hopefully she's having a good day

Glad to hear you got some sleep @Chocolatetrifle! Fingers crossed this is the end of the regression and you'll eventually get some uninterrupted sleep. Soon they'll be teenagers and you can wake them up several times during the night for revenge

Welcome @giraffes2021! I agree, nothing wrong with you for wanting to kill your offspring after being stuck in a confined space with them for a day I have an almost 2 year old and a 5 week old and I shout every day. Usually with swear words. Really need to get out of that habit...

@Motherofmonsters glad to hear all went well with DS. The tests are so long I'm not surprised he lost concentration, sometimes I lose concentration during an eye test too

We've had a really busy day, DS1 has been in a psychology study this morning over Zoom and then I dropped him at nursery and took DS2 to the chiropractor. Got home and speed cleaned the flat - just the kitchen and floors left, I'm super impressed with myself have a friend coming for tea tonight so thought I'd better make it look presentable. She's bringing tea too which is even better!

How did DS's therapy go @Motherofmonsters. Glad his eye tests went ok too.

@squishymamma, hope you enjoy the tea, well done to your friend for bringing the meal, what a star!

Happy Friday everyone!

Agree @chocolatetrifle sleep is so important! Theres a reason sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique. I never realised how much it can affect you until we were blessed with non sleeping ds!
Also - 2yo sleep regression?! Whaaaaat

@squishymamma sounds like you've had a productive day, well done you! Hope you have a lovely evening with your friend.

@giraffe2021, nothing wrong with being driven batshit by attempting to stay in with toddlers all day! Staying in with ds sends me round the bend, I try and get us out every day even if it's just a slow walk to the post office to break the day up.

Hope everyone has a good weekend, dh is off both Saturday and Sunday which is unheard of so we are having a day out to the aquarium tomorrow which should keep ds entertained, then some shopping on Sunday to get some new bits for him starting daycare next week.

Happy Saturday!

Hope you have a good day at the aquarium @Scotabroad24

We had a terrible night, DS1 was up between 2.30 and 4.30am being sick. No idea why and he's been perfectly happy today. DH slept in and DS2 was nice and slept too, so DS1 and I have played in the sink, made bread dough, played with putting rice in different containers, hoovered together, and of course watched TV he's down for a nap now and later we're going to IKEA to buy more bedding because we are down to our last set after last night and definitely need to have more backups

Anyone else got nice plans for this weekend?