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Original poster

Can you remember how you felt when you found out Santa was not real?

117 replies

username30473 · 19/12/2021 17:51

Me and DH both come from backgrounds where we did not celebrate Christmas/believe in Santa.
We now have two young DC and we have started to celebrate Xmas over the last few years since they were born. Now the DC are becoming aware of Santa mostly from school. We have just gone along it with mainly due to me not wanting them to feel left out. DH however said last night he is abit concerned about when they find out and realise we have been lying to them. I just if you could remember finding out and how you felt?

OP posts:
EdenFlower · 19/12/2021 17:54

I don't think it's a shock for most children, it's a gradual awakening for most.

I don't remember the day I find out- I think it was a gradual piecing together but I was quite young- about age five or so.

NutellaEllaElla · 19/12/2021 17:55

It was a gradual figuring it out. I knew magic wasn't real. I eventually told my mother to stop lying to me and admit it! Precocious child...

Numbersarefun · 19/12/2021 17:56

I think for me it was a more gradual realisation, so it didn’t bother me. I don’t remember ‘finding out’ as such. Also compared to lots of families, Father Christmas played quite a small role in our celebrations. Just a small stocking first thing. We were more excited about our tree presents which were from whoever gave them (and we always waited until after the Queen). Not traumatised by that either as it was just how our family did things.

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GemmaRuby · 19/12/2021 17:56

I don’t think I ever truly believed… it was more like a game. My parents would pretend that Santa was real and we’d try to catch them out and get them to admit he wasn’t real (knowing that they wouldn’t admit it) that was the fun of it.

So I wouldn’t get too hung up about it - the vaguer you are the better. I personally don’t agree with parents concocting elaborate lies and manufacturing proof that Santa is real - think it sets kids up for a really big disappointment.

insancerre · 19/12/2021 17:57

It’s a gradual realisation
You work it out but hope you’re wrong

BigGreyEagle · 19/12/2021 17:58

I am the same as EdenFlower I can't remember finding out, there was no shocking revaluation and I didn't feel I had been lied to.
I had younger sisters so I just went along with it and didn't ask too many questions.
It was always a good thing to make Christmas magical.

EventOfTheSeason · 19/12/2021 18:02

It was gradual for me but I never actually asked my parents because I was too scared I'd stop getting presents. I think that was the right move because I still get a present from him Wink
I certainly wasn't upset about it and didn't feel hoodwinked. I still love Christmas.

Spiderelf · 19/12/2021 18:04

It's gradual. My 6YO is already saying the random men in Santa costumes aren't real. 8YO is working it out and asking a lot of questions.

By 9 I worked it out myself. I found something hidden in my parents room that was then given to my DSiS on Christmas morning. I had also said to my mum I wanted to write a last minute letter to Santa about two days before Christmas to ask for something else. My mum had a look of sheer panic on her face and I knew it then. Of course, Christmas morning turned up and my last minute addition wasn't there. My sister got the tape player that was hidden in my mum's wardrobe and I worked it all out.

I didn't feel lied to or disappointed. It just made a lot more sense TBH than some fat magical bloke who broke into the house to leave presents.

GCITC · 19/12/2021 18:05

Angry that I had been lied to.

FinallyHere · 19/12/2021 18:07

I remember thinking well, if I don't believe then he won't visit me. No harm in believing on the off chance there is a present for me in it.

Libby Purvis wrote a book about parenting, she mentioned telling her DC that when parents notice that their DC have stopped believing in Father Christmas , they start to buy them presents because they know Father Christmas won't come any more.

I also loved and felt very grown up when my elder sister told me that the secret was that giving presents was even better than getting them. Everyone got some from Father Christmas to get them started, so they got the idea. Then, when they were old enough, they were allowed to do the giving.

Get a bit teary remembering how good she was and still is, to me.

RampantIvy · 19/12/2021 18:08

No. I never had a moment of enlightenment. I think it must have been a gradual realisation.

Rhubarblin · 19/12/2021 18:08

I figured it out at age 6, a combination of realising magic wasn't real and kids saying things at school (Year 2 at the time), so I asked my mum. I felt fine. When I was a kid no-one believed past age 8.

TheCloudBotherer · 19/12/2021 18:11

I don't think I ever quite believed it was real. My sister and I knew it was a nice story at Christmas. Some of the MN threads on here with parents insisting their 11 year old really believes in a magical man flying around the world every Christmas Eve are quite odd.

lanbro · 19/12/2021 18:12

I was 9, I remember coming home from school and telling my mum I'd had an argument with a boy who said santa wasn't real. She said "well...." and told me, but I don't remember being particularly gutted or betrayed. I'm the eldest with younger sibling and cousins so I had to keep it secret for years!

My 8 year old has twigged I think, 9 year old still believes but I think this is my last year

cookiemonster2468 · 19/12/2021 18:12

I really think most children do not feel angry or betrayed. Some do. But for most, Santa is part of the magic of childhood and Christmas.

When I worked it out I appreciated my parents all the more for all the effort they had gone to to make things so magical for me.

Redglitter · 19/12/2021 18:13

Sane as pp it wasn't a shocking revelation. It was a gradual thing and my Mum & Dad just confirmed it. It was really a non event I think sometimes people (on here) overthink the whole issue of lying to their children. I dont know anyone who felt they'd been lied to when they found out

Chouxfun · 19/12/2021 18:14

@RampantIvy

No. I never had a moment of enlightenment. I think it must have been a gradual realisation.
Yeah same, no drama, no upset, no feeling deceived (I don't know anyone who feels this way now as an adult)- I look back now and appreciate what my parents did to make the magic seem so real, the little details, and I have so many fond memories.
Thatsplentyjack · 19/12/2021 18:14

I wasn't annoyed at my parents for "lying", I wasn't bothered when I found out. I was old enough to realise. The years of believing in santa made the best Christmas's. Jts so exciting and magical.

GnomeyGnome · 19/12/2021 18:15

I gradually pieced it together but knew for sure when I heard my parents late at night on Christmas Eve discussing which stocking stuff was going in to! I remember feeling slightly disappointed but it wasn't until I became a teenager that the magical feeling sort of stopped and then it came right back as soon as I had my own children.

JustJustWhy · 19/12/2021 18:15

Gradual realisation and I wouldn't swap the feeling, even if only for a few years, that magic was real.

CombatBarbie · 19/12/2021 18:17

He is real..... 😳

On a serious note, I really never get the posts saying they felt angry at being lied to and its affected their relationships with their parents etc.....

Its just part of being a child.... We all figured it out eventually, I refuse to believe that "being lied to about Santa, Tooth Fairy etc" leads to MH issues in adulthood.

PolytheneRam · 19/12/2021 18:18

I was devastated. I had no idea and my mum just casually dropped into conversation "you obviously know Santa isn't real". I tried to convince myself for some time that he was in fact real, and that my parents just didn't realise.

Thatsplentyjack · 19/12/2021 18:18

People that say they feel angry they were lied to, or betrayed by their parents are just ridiculous.

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 19/12/2021 18:19

I was seven. My mum rather over-egged the pudding one year and left us a personalised note 'from Santa' on Christmas morning. Unfortunately I recognised her writing even though she'd printed it. It was a sort of slow sinking feeling of disappointment. I didn't say anything.

Embracelife · 19/12/2021 18:19

It s
pretending
Make believe
Fantasy

It s not a wicked lie