Can you remember how you felt when you found out Santa was not real?

[username30473]

Me and DH both come from backgrounds where we did not celebrate Christmas/believe in Santa.
We now have two young DC and we have started to celebrate Xmas over the last few years since they were born. Now the DC are becoming aware of Santa mostly from school. We have just gone along it with mainly due to me not wanting them to feel left out. DH however said last night he is abit concerned about when they find out and realise we have been lying to them. I just if you could remember finding out and how you felt?

I started questioning it, I think my parents tried to patch it over a bit, then I started looking for evidence and found presents. It didn't bother me one bit though. I remember it being like a fun whodunit.

Should also add that my eldest is 11 and in year 7 and is definitely still pretending to himself (and everyone else) that he still believes. I’d never take the magic away from him and actually tell him though.

I do remember (after I'd found out, see above) discussing the subject in a very serious way with a school friend - I remember her agreeing sagely: "It's your mum and dad, isn't it?"

My 10yo has never said she doesn't believe. She just asked for a bit money to buy something for ours and her sisters stockings. I remember doing similar.... just used a bit of pocket money to buy something for my brother.

We did Santa as a fantasy figure with ours , our christmases have always been magical even through the teen and into adult years because the ‘magic’ didn’t depend on believing in FC . Both of ours love Christmas . I can’t remember ever believing in FC but we had quite unconventional christmases until I was 10/11 .

I was four and very very smart (and also a born over thinker).

I never asked directly but I asked my dad some probing questions July 1976 then felt justified in the conclusions I had drawn.

My mum handled it really well, she explained that Santa was actually the spirit of Christmas and that I was now old enough to be trusted to keep the magic going for my little sister. I remember feeling grateful that she'd told me the truth and very important, that I could help to make Christmas special for someone else. That was my favourite childhood Christmas.

Another one with the gradual realisation, confirmed when I realised that Father Christmas' handwriting was quite remarkably like my mother's. I remember saying, a couple of days later when I was going to wear the thing I had been bought, "Father Christmas... it's you, isn't it?"

I didn't mind. It was like most other cheerful childhood stories. They don't need to be real to give you that warm glow.

Like others, gradual realisation. I remember debating it at school with a friend when we were about 7. No strong emotions involved, it’s not something I really remember or think about. I feel like I always had a suspicion he wasn’t real even from like, 4 years old

No shock , I felt quite smug I had worked it out but kept it to myself for a couple of years just to watch my mum try and hide presents

I wasn't bothered so long as I had it confirmed I'd still be getting presents!

I remember saying to my mum while she was in her bedroom

"Mum, if I ask you something do you promise to tell me the truth?"

She replied that she would and I asked the dreaded question but she couldn't lie to me, I said "Okay, do I still get presents though"

I was absolutely gutted, I remember feeling angry my parents lied. I still did Father Christmas for my DC.

@FinallyHere

I remember thinking well, if I don't believe then he won't visit me. No harm in believing on the off chance there is a present for me in it.

Libby Purvis wrote a book about parenting, she mentioned telling her DC that when parents notice that their DC have stopped believing in Father Christmas , they start to buy them presents because they know Father Christmas won't come any more.

I also loved and felt very grown up when my elder sister told me that the secret was that giving presents was even better than getting them. Everyone got some from Father Christmas to get them started, so they got the idea. Then, when they were old enough, they were allowed to do the giving.

Get a bit teary remembering how good she was and still is, to me.

@FinallyHere - I love this!

My dad told me when i was 9. I was gutted because i didn't have a clue. It never occurred to me to resent my parents for lying, if i thought about it at all my feelings would have been that they did a nice thing for me for a long time.

I can't remember ever believing in Santa - my DM is fairly no nonsense so she probably didn't want him taking credit for the pressies!

My Mum said to me 'the day you stop believing is the day he isn't real'. When I was around 9 I think....

That makes perfect sense when you think about it and isn't a lie. I also understood the hidden message behind it. Don't believe in Santa - then no more Santa presents.

So I maintained that Santa was real until I was 19yrs old and my Mum finally yelled - you know full while he isn't- you're not getting a stocking this year - hahahaha. To which I dramatically fell to the floor in the lounge and gave her a full theatrical tantrum, wailing how she'd lied to me and he was real.

P.s I'm the youngest in my famil, woefully immature and for some reason this sort of thing makes my entire family howl with laughter.

Gradual realisation from being a little bit unsure to being fairly sure (but kind of hoping he was) over a couple of years. I think my dc were the same.

It was a gradual dawning for me, so by the time my DF actually told me, it was only confirming what I already thought I knew.

I had younger siblings who still believed, so could still enjoy their excitement, while feeling rather pleasantly grown up by comparison.

Just gradually realised. No angst or feeling of being lied to just "oh"

Unsurprised and completely unshaken. I caught my parents putting out the presents, and thought it was great fun. I'd have been five or six. We continued to put out sherry and mince pies in the following years. They needed them after all that hard work.

@Inastatus 😀

@Kinko 😀

But it is real. It might not be Santa but Santa represents the idea. It's all our responsibility to be santa to others so 'finding out' is really being old enough to be let in on the system.

No memory of finding out. A gradual realisation I'm guessing.

So no angst and no feeling that I'd been lied to. My parents always gave us such a lovely Christmas.

As the youngest in the family, I want to acknowledge that these things linger.

DH and I moved in together, in the tenth year of our relationship, in 1999. Just us, DC all adults in their own homes.

When we were going upstairs to bed, on Christmas Eve, I was very keen that we should leave out a carrot and a mince pie.

DH said well, we can but it's just us, whose going to eat it before we get down stairs tomorrow.

I agreed it was pointless and, since I was on a roll, agreed he could have a cup of tea to go with the vintage champagne I had arrange for Christmas Day.