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Original poster

Can you remember how you felt when you found out Santa was not real?

117 replies

username30473 · 19/12/2021 17:51

Me and DH both come from backgrounds where we did not celebrate Christmas/believe in Santa.
We now have two young DC and we have started to celebrate Xmas over the last few years since they were born. Now the DC are becoming aware of Santa mostly from school. We have just gone along it with mainly due to me not wanting them to feel left out. DH however said last night he is abit concerned about when they find out and realise we have been lying to them. I just if you could remember finding out and how you felt?

OP posts:
frippit · 19/12/2021 18:20

Yes I was nine and our teacher said that obviously Father Christmas isn't real. I mean I knew really by then, but was a bit shocked to hear it said. She was a very strict scary teacher though.
I'm 59 now and can still remember it.

RampantIvy · 19/12/2021 18:20

I look back now and appreciate what my parents did to make the magic seem so real, the little details, and I have so many fond memories.

You have summed up exactly how my Christmas was like as a child.

IncompleteSenten · 19/12/2021 18:21

I can't remember at all

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Incywinceyspider · 19/12/2021 18:22

I was 9 and I asked my mum when a boy at school told me. I think I'd asked a few times before that though. She always took the "what do you think?" approach. When I said I thought he wasn't real, she confirmed it. I don't remember being particularly upset and I definitely wasn't angry.

It helped that I had a much younger brother and so could "become Santa". It was nice being in on the big grown up secret.

I really wouldn't worry about it. Most children don't end up with permanent scars from believing in Santa for a while.

Fireblanket · 19/12/2021 18:23

I was 8 and I felt disappointed, but more disappointed that mum had told me. I wanted to believe for longer. My mum was a heavy drinker and I must have caught her at a bad time.

bestbeforedateexpired · 19/12/2021 18:24

I was about 7 or 8 and I was showing off my new little beaded bag that had been given by Father Christmas. My best friend laughed at me for still believing. I can still remember the embarrassment I felt but I didn't feel angry or betrayed by my parents. I remember all the effort my parents put into making it special even though times were pretty hard back then.

Hellocatshome · 19/12/2021 18:25

I cant remember at all because, as I suspect is the case for most people, its a slow realisation over time not a bomb shell heartbreaking reveal.

Angel2702 · 19/12/2021 18:25

We were never told officially we just gradually realised on our own. I’d have been more upset if we had been told before I worked it out. I remember the gradual awareness and the year of not quite believing but still wanting to believe.

Papertrail392 · 19/12/2021 18:25

I remember it being a gradual realisation, it felt quite exciting that I'd managed to figure it out and the silly adults thought they could trick me. It was all just good fun.

Blossom64265 · 19/12/2021 18:26

I recall it as feeling proud to figure it out at 5. I gathered the evidence and presented it to prove the lie. I’ve always been very analytical.

With our own child, we never actually said that he was real. We put some presents out that were unsigned and when she came home from nursery the first year she started assuming they were from Santa. We didn’t contradict her. I have no idea when she figured it out. She finally admitted it around 10, but I suspect it was many, many years before that. She was worried the presents would stop until I made some statement about how FC brings presents until you move into your own adult home even if you stop believing just because it was getting ridiculous. She asked us to add adult stockings to our family tradition at that point so she wouldn’t be the only one getting a stocking, which we did, and I’m glad we did because it has been quite fun.

champions55 · 19/12/2021 18:28

My husband said he just worked it out but no one confirmed it and that was it. He was quite young 6/7.
I on the other hand was the kid at school telling everyone if u don't believe he won't come and so on 🙈 I obvs knew everyone said it's not real but I just so wanted him to be real so I kept believing. So when I mentioned Santa one year my mum said oh c'mon u don't still really believe do u, he's not real. To be fair I was 11 😂 but I was a bit gutted but I suppose not really surprised lol.
I joke with my mum now that it turned me to drink as I was down the park a year later drinking cider with my pals.

Piplette · 19/12/2021 18:29

I can't remember my exact age but to this day I still remember being told by another girl at school.

I wasn't angry- just quite sad as although I still got all of the presents on my list Christmas had lost some of its magic.

My oldest daughter has just turned 7 and she still believes and I'm hoping to get another year out of it and then she gets to be in on the secret for the benefit of her younger sister.

Gladioli23 · 19/12/2021 18:29

I remember when I realised: I got a note from Father Christmas and so did my friend, and we compared them and the handwriting was different, so we knew.

But I must have been suspicious to have thought of comparing the handwriting, and I wasn't sad. I then had a little brother by the following Christmas, so I had to pretend for him, and when I was 12 or so I got to help with stocking.

I don't remember being sad, and I while guess I didn't technically believe in magic any more, it never stopped me loving magic and almost wishing it into a belief.

I don't have any memories where I thought the Father Christmas who you saw was real but I don't know if that's just lost in the mists of time.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/12/2021 18:31

There was no moment when I suddenly realised. The balance of believing and doubting tipped gradually over about 4 years, and at the end of it I understood.

I wish my son could have that experience, but unfortunately he has a friend who constantly tells everyone that Santa Clause is not real, he's just a legend associated with Christianity, and anyone who is in doubt about this can Google and clarify the situation. He is 6!

duvetdayforeveryone · 19/12/2021 18:32

He's not?!? Shock

mrsed1987 · 19/12/2021 18:35

I have no memory of when I found out so it had no effect on me clearly.

Sashimimimi · 19/12/2021 18:35

I was 6 and overheard some kids in my class talking about how Santa wasn’t real and neither was the tooth fairy. I was a bit gutted but also felt slightly silly for having not worked it out for myself! Never felt aggrieved with my parents about it, it would never have occurred to me to think they’d done anything wrong in going along with it all.

Startrooper · 19/12/2021 18:36

I was 6-7 years old and asked my DC if he was real, having heard the rumours at school. I wasn’t bothered at all. This was the early 80’s, and I find it hard to believe some threads where there are 10-11 year olds who still believe in Santa - do children not talk amongst themselves anymore?

IgneousRock · 19/12/2021 18:37

I don't remember finding out so I guess it wasn't a big deal.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 19/12/2021 18:39

I wrote a letter to my mum. It was in yellow felt tip and I said I knew the truth and thank you for all of my presents for all of the previous years. I wasn't sad, I remember that Christmas because I kept saying thank you to my mum, out of ear shot of my little sister. I felt so grown up.

When my eldest found out, she was so caught up in how magical I had made things she was asking about the bells she heard, the santa footprints in the hall everything. I told her it was all me and her Stepdad. She was amazed. I then told her as she is now part of the secret that she needs to help make it magical for her little sisters. At 14 she still helps with the magic.
Then a day later she came in and said 'did you buy me that awful Hello Kitty fashion studio'
I said yes, but it wasn't awful you played with it all the time.
She said only because she wanted santa to think she was grateful 😂

IgneousRock · 19/12/2021 18:39

@Startrooper do children not talk amongst themselves any more? - my DS1 was a late believer. He knew that some of the kids in his class didn't believe, but he thought they were wrong. I think he thought it was a bit like believing in God - some people do, some don't, it's a personal choice.

SpringRainbow · 19/12/2021 18:42

My mum and dad even to this day have never directly confirmed to me that Santa isn’t real. I have never directly confirmed to them that I don’t believe in Santa.

To be honest I was more put out when they stopped buying me Advent Calendars than I was when I stopped getting a Santa stocking. I actually remember the first year I never got a Advent Calendar, no idea when I stopped getting a Santa stocking. I assume when they realised my younger sibling no longer believes.

However, as others have said I gradually started realising that he wasn’t really over the years. I don’t really remember being fussed/ angry/ upset/ anything.

JoanOgden · 19/12/2021 18:42

I remember working it out and being pleased with myself for doing so when I was about 7, but I don't remember actually believing in Santa, though I clearly did. My parents didn't make a big thing of it - for me the magic of Christmas was the tree, presents, Christmas dinner etc, not Santa.

Woodpigeonsnest · 19/12/2021 18:43

I wasn’t bothered but then my parents never did anything hugely elaborate. I know it’s not a popular view on here but I do think if your parents have been altering and changing your perception on things for years purposefully to mislead you then the feelings of having been lied to might be there.

MissDollyMix · 19/12/2021 18:43

I caught my dad filling my stocking when I was about 4 or 5. I was pretty shocked and blanked it out as I completely believed at that age and couldn’t believe it wasn’t true. I never told anyone what I saw and I pretended for years that I still believed. When I was 8 my older cousin just said it out loud, that she had been shopping for some things for my younger cousins stocking. I was gutted that she had said it and wished she could have let me pretend for longer. Even though I knew it wasn’t really true that he existed it didn’t stop the magic. I loved pretending that he did.