My life is not your life

[Builtthiscityonsausagerolls]

I'm single and child free. Both by choice.
Part of that choice is a lifestyle that is maybe quite self indulgent. But a few things have peed me off this week:

1. Friend is at mine having a drink. Asks me to go with her to a (family) event. I say: 'not sure I can afford it'. She gestures to a perfume I've just bought and says 'I'd believe you if I hadn't seen this haha'
2. sibling is going through a rough patch. I say 'come round for lunch and we'll talk it through' sibling says they will turn up at 8 on Sunday morning after picking kids up from sleep over. I say I won't be up at 8 - sibling 'will wake you up then lazy haha' - I'm out Saturday and don't expect to get in till 2ish
3. A small comment but rankles. Collegue on Monday 'I can't belive you have a cleaner. In the time it takes me to get the kids ready you could clean up after yourself

I know all 3 examples are a bit me being winey, but I chose this life because I don't like domestic chores and don't want children! Yet it seems to mean that my choosing life style is second to everyone else's.

Want to sleep in - ill wake you. Buy perfume instead of coming to my kids Christmas thing- your prioritis are wrong. Spend money on a cleaner - you are single you have nothing better to do!

I'm a bit but it's seemingly incessant at the moment.

Just say "Ha ha I'm free and single and can do what I liiiikkkee!" in a sing song piss taking voice.

Yanbu. Cheeky buggers.

I know this isn't AIBU, but you aren't. Your thread title is the perfect response.

I don’t have children and don’t particularly want them now but it annoys me when I say to friend with 9 year old that I had a long lie and she will say things lik

Posted too soon she says things like she never gets a long lie and calls me lazy . We all make different choices I work full time if I want to have a long lie it’s not hurting anyone . People are so strange

I love the raised eyebrows I get at the expense of my cleaner from parents.

They pay a day in childcare what I pay a month for a cleaner!

Nothing wrong with being a bit blunter in the face of stupid/critical comments. They’re all really disrespectful. I’ve got kids, no one comes over at 8am, what the hell?

Instead of saying you couldn’t afford the Christmas kids event I’d have just said you don’t fancy it, and if she pushed I’d have followed up with “I really wouldn’t enjoy that” or “god no”.

Who cleans your house is your business alone.

Where do people get off?

It's a bit of the green eyes monster lurking.

Be firm on your boundaries and just ignore them.

Yep - competitive busyness. I find this particularly irritating from parents of multiple children who sigh about just how busy they are with never a moment to themselves - well that was their choice!!!

@SylviasMotherSaid

Posted too soon she says things like she never gets a long lie and calls me lazy . We all make different choices I work full time if I want to have a long lie it’s not hurting anyone . People are so strange

What’s wrong with being lazy? People are so weird. We have a lie in each, I’m often in bed past 9am.

I have 2 young kids and if someone turned up at my house on a Sunday morning at 8am they would be given short shrift. Who the hell collects their child from a sleepover before 8am?

That sounds really wearing.

I have never picked my child up from a sleep over before 8am and wouldn't dream of turning up at my sisters at 8am wtf! She would tell me to F off!

It just sounds like you're surrounded by arseholes. I have kids and I would sooner spend money on perfume for myself than being subjected to someone's kids panto/Christmas fayre. Not a farts chance in hell I'd be out of bed at 8am on a Sunday and if I could afford a cleaner, I'd have one.

Honestly, I think you are reading more into these comments than are intended. Although if your sister was serious about waking you up at 8am, then definitely put a stop to that!
There might be a little bit of envy because, as much as people love their kids, parents I also miss being able to prioritise buying nice things because I have to put most of the money into my children.

The only question I have is why did you say you couldn't afford it?

I'm married with dc, have lie ins & a cleaner who was used pre dc My mum often judges my spending still!

@Elfonthesofa

It just sounds like you're surrounded by arseholes. I have kids and I would sooner spend money on perfume for myself than being subjected to someone's kids panto/Christmas fayre. Not a farts chance in hell I'd be out of bed at 8am on a Sunday and if I could afford a cleaner, I'd have one.

This. I'd be annoyed too.

@Anordinarymum

The only question I have is why did you say you couldn't afford it?

Because its more socially acceptable than I love you but I'm not paying money to spend 3 hours with your kids!

So far, quite reassuring. Was quite convinced I was in for a beating!

Tbf I'm talking about around 11

Because its more socially acceptable than I love you but I'm not paying money to spend 3 hours with your kids!

Just be honest because that's what I can't afford it whilst i buy perfume means anyway

YANBU. I'll add me telling a friend to take care and rest when she had covid and her sending a very grumpy/snotty reply about how she didn't have that option because of her child/dog choices. I was just trying to be nice and didn't force those choices on you!

Tell them all to fuck off to the far side of fuck off. None of them are in a position to judge you.

Enjoy your single and childfree life !
8am is way too early to go round to someone's house