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Original poster

Star Hobson’s mother

248 replies

HermioneWeasley · 16/12/2021 10:37

I read as an incidental comment that she had an IQ of 70. This doesn’t seem to have been taken into account by social services in terms of her needing more support or being vulnerable. Does anyone know what would normally happen? It seems like a very significant factor which should have had social services on alert.

OP posts:
Walkaround · 17/12/2021 17:35

[quote HeatonGrove]@Walkaround

We don’t force contraception on others or practice enforced sterilisation - surely you can see the multitude of problems if we did

This response is typical of those who want to close down the debate. I realise that mumsnet does not lend itself to nuanced debate, but in what world does what I suggested - “focussing more on discouraging these pregnancies in the first place” - translate into “enforced sterilisation” or “force contraception”?

Obviously I recognise the problems associated with those paths. That is why I did not suggest them.[/quote]
Don’t address me when you are quoting someone else, ffs, @HeatonGrove.

Megan1992xx · 17/12/2021 17:41

'We don’t force contraception on others or practice enforced sterilisation - surely you can see the multitude of problems if we did'

Yet you cannot see the multitude of problems caused by not forcing contraception like the death of a beautiful 18 month old girl!

HeatonGrove · 17/12/2021 17:47

@Walkaround

If you go back to 0845 you will see that I realised I had addressed the wrong person and apologised to you.

Walkaround · 17/12/2021 17:59

@HeatonGrove - I can see your apology, now. Sorry!

LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 19:30

[quote LoveMyPiano]My friend's son, himself measured IQ of around 75, has fathered a child with a young woman with an IQ of

Jellycatspyjamas · 17/12/2021 19:34

(And I rest my case regarding sterilising these idiots.)

Or your friend could talk to her son about safe sex and contraception he has control over?

Basically if he has any concern about contraception he needs to use protection, I’d he think he might be lied to there are choices he can make to not become a parent.

LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 19:50

@Jellycatspyjamas

(And I rest my case regarding sterilising these idiots.)

Or your friend could talk to her son about safe sex and contraception he has control over?

Basically if he has any concern about contraception he needs to use protection, I’d he think he might be lied to there are choices he can make to not become a parent.

I agree - but he is 33 years old, and should know such things (two older children, with other mothers, in care). He has been tricked once already and God knows why they are still "together". This woman (with a mental age of around 12-13) is on the verge of doing it again. She also talks in a disgusting manner about how she will treat the baby they already had (in Care at the moment) "when they get her back".

Today: "I/m gonna tell him that he has got to effing look afer her 'cos I'm effing fed up and and I'm effing off out for the effing day."
(She obviously doesn't say effing, and this was in a very public setting.)

I heard this myself and said nothing, but it gives me grave concern. Not my place to do anything - but cannot help but be very worried. My friend has concerns but is not pushy/vocal in the same way that I can be. Wrongly or rightly.

Jellycatspyjamas · 17/12/2021 19:56

But you’re placing responsibility on her for contraception when he has equal responsibility regardless of his capacity - unless you’re saying he doesn’t have capacity to understand the consequences of his decisions regarding contraception?

Itsnotover · 17/12/2021 20:10

I am so annoyed that all the women who knew Star are getting vitriol by association. Like FS's mum, Yvonne and Hollie the young woman who babysat for her (and often had her over night) - they did their best for Star and then, Star's waste of space father, Jordan gets a free pass.

The man got FS pregnant, buggered off to university, didn't pay maintenance, never bothered with Star. And then he stole the money raised for Star's Go Fund Me which was supposed to be for Star's benches.

Not to mention that he had the power to remove Star from FS, at least for a short time until the courts could decide. He was the only other person who had PR in this sorry situation. He knew that Star was likely being abused because he himself made a report to SS.

It is about time that more pressure was put on men not to walk away from their responsibilities.

Itsnotover · 17/12/2021 20:14

I would make receipt of state benefits by these mothers dependent on them continuing to access education/training

Right so remove money from mothers who don't do this and then the children suffer even more. Great idea 🙄

LoveMyPiano · 17/12/2021 20:22

@Jellycatspyjamas

But you’re placing responsibility on her for contraception when he has equal responsibility regardless of his capacity - unless you’re saying he doesn’t have capacity to understand the consequences of his decisions regarding contraception?
I do agree - he is probably quite likely to just go along with it (very VERY toxic relationship), "believing" - as he has to this point after birth of baby arlier this year - that she has a functioning implant still in place. And has not taken extra precuations. (Remember, IQ of 75.)

Her having it removed is "secret", she says Hmm (to his mother in front of me), "so you lot don't tell him".

Jellycatspyjamas · 17/12/2021 20:32

So someone needs to have a conversation with him about using contraception that he has control over regardless of what he thinks she is doing - remembering she too has a low IQ, though that doesn’t really say anything about his or her cognitive capacity or processing capacity.

Megan1992xx · 17/12/2021 20:44

All very well 'explaining' but what happens if they do not have the mental capacity to understand.

State enforced, through the courts, contraception.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2021 20:48

@Megan1992xx

All very well 'explaining' but what happens if they do not have the mental capacity to understand.

State enforced, through the courts, contraception.

So forced medical procedures. And they have to be invasive because you can't force condoms. So either forced injections or implants or forced vaginal insertion.

What's your criteria for this? How do you select for forced, state sanctioned assault?

SerfNTerf · 18/12/2021 16:58

@Itsnotover

I am so annoyed that all the women who knew Star are getting vitriol by association. Like FS's mum, Yvonne and Hollie the young woman who babysat for her (and often had her over night) - they did their best for Star and then, Star's waste of space father, Jordan gets a free pass.

The man got FS pregnant, buggered off to university, didn't pay maintenance, never bothered with Star. And then he stole the money raised for Star's Go Fund Me which was supposed to be for Star's benches.

Not to mention that he had the power to remove Star from FS, at least for a short time until the courts could decide. He was the only other person who had PR in this sorry situation. He knew that Star was likely being abused because he himself made a report to SS.

It is about time that more pressure was put on men not to walk away from their responsibilities.

I've seen this accusation that Jordan Hobson "stole money" from the memorial fund but is there any evidence to back that up? Its a vile thing to do if it's true.
Itsnotover · 18/12/2021 19:09

I've seen this accusation that Jordan Hobson "stole money" from the memorial fund but is there any evidence to back that up? Its a vile thing to do if it's true.

Yes it is true, this was confirmed by someone close to the family weeks ago.

SerfNTerf · 18/12/2021 20:48

@Itsnotover

I've seen this accusation that Jordan Hobson "stole money" from the memorial fund but is there any evidence to back that up? Its a vile thing to do if it's true.

Yes it is true, this was confirmed by someone close to the family weeks ago.

Sad I hope it's being taken further as that's despicable. Have the police been involved?
Itsnotover · 19/12/2021 03:23

Apparently the police were informed but I don't know if anything was done about it.

The problem is that the Crowd Fund was being run by the dad's best friend. Hardly anyone knew this (including me who donated money myself). Then at some point he just decided to give about £3k of this to Jordan.

Jordan then made up some fake invoices to convince people the the money had not been misappropriated. In the circumstances I am not sure that he has a case to answer because the friend gave him this money. But it's morally corrupt.

The dad is a wrong un anyway - he has previous convictions for violence.

FlyingOink · 20/12/2021 00:18

So he's clever enough to go to university, but he impregnates a teenage girl with limited mental capacity who plays with dolls etc and then he fucks off. And he's got convictions for assaulting a girlfriend. And then he allegedly steals money from a crowd fund for his dead daughter who he didn't pay support for or attempt to gain custody of.

He sounds like a total bastard. He'll undoubtedly have other children too.

cleocleo81 · 23/12/2021 23:29

@Itsnotover

I am so annoyed that all the women who knew Star are getting vitriol by association. Like FS's mum, Yvonne and Hollie the young woman who babysat for her (and often had her over night) - they did their best for Star and then, Star's waste of space father, Jordan gets a free pass.

The man got FS pregnant, buggered off to university, didn't pay maintenance, never bothered with Star. And then he stole the money raised for Star's Go Fund Me which was supposed to be for Star's benches.

Not to mention that he had the power to remove Star from FS, at least for a short time until the courts could decide. He was the only other person who had PR in this sorry situation. He knew that Star was likely being abused because he himself made a report to SS.

It is about time that more pressure was put on men not to walk away from their responsibilities.

I think FS mum Yvonne deserves some hate. She seemed to support FS in going out continuously instead of looking after star. She seemed to prioritise this over the welfare of her own dcs and star. She knew about bruises to star but was still happy to let SB have star so she could go out drinking with FS. She failed to protect her own dc- FS and her grandchild.

any other mother surely would have questioned FS about where star was when they were going out and encouraged her to stay in more and not rely on SB to look after her after reports of abuse.

There were also reports she didn't even hug FS when she arrived at the hospital after star had died. She sounds like a totally inadequate parent herself.

Itsnotover · 24/12/2021 00:07

All of that is conjecture. Nobody could get through to FS about SB and if they tried, they'd find themselves cut off and unable to see Star at all.

cleocleo81 · 24/12/2021 07:06

@Itsnotover

All of that is conjecture. Nobody could get through to FS about SB and if they tried, they'd find themselves cut off and unable to see Star at all.
Yes agreed. But in that situation I would not be the one encouraging my daughter to go out night after night drinking. If she'd said no perhaps FS wouldn't have gone out so much so wouldn't have been left with SB for so long. Or she could have looked after her herself not giving SB so much opportunity to be abusive. She also didn't seem to care less about star.
Malibuismysecrethome · 24/12/2021 07:17

Inadequate parenting all round which led to the death of this poor baby. Basically low life’s getting away with murder.

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