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Original poster

No one is interested in the Christmas tree

112 replies

CommonRoom · 11/12/2021 22:01

I buy a big, real tree every year and we have a beautiful collection of lights and decorations. I really go to town! Today I spent several hours carrying the tree home, moving furniture and putting the tree up. It's an 8 foot tree so it was all quite an effort. DH did not bother to help. I asked him but he 'forgot.'

DD came home from uni and I asked her to let me know when she was ready to decorate the tree. She just spent the whole evening on the sofa on her phone. DH went to his study and shut the door. I didn't want to instruct people to help me because I have spent years doing that. The tree is bare in the living room. The lack of enthusiasm has upset and annoyed me.

I am fairly certain if I decorate it myself I will be accused of being grumpy, impatient and impulsive. What should I do?

OP posts:
viques · 12/12/2021 15:59

I would start by eating all the chocolate tree decorations. And leaving the wrappers lying around. Then I would eat everyone’s chocolate coins destined for their stockings. And warn them that they might find themselves extremely short changed for roasties this year.

Christmas revenge is always best eaten.

JustLikea · 12/12/2021 19:20

I ignore everyone's promises to help decorate the tree and I wait till they're out or in their rooms then I just crack on.

DD offered to help and try out a different style of decoration so as soon as she was out the door I got on and did it my way Grin

She forgave me after her friends told her how lovely it looked later on when they came home

A580Hojas · 12/12/2021 19:28

Pretty anti-social of your H to go into his study and shut the door. What was he doing in there? We have an open door policy at home even if we are working. Doors can be shut for bathroom activities or to keep cooking smells in the kitchen. Or sleeping.

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Christmas Events & celebrations
RedHelenB · 12/12/2021 20:09

@A580Hojas

Pretty anti-social of your H to go into his study and shut the door. What was he doing in there? We have an open door policy at home even if we are working. Doors can be shut for bathroom activities or to keep cooking smells in the kitchen. Or sleeping.
Wow, no privacy allowed . How stifling.
Original poster
CommonRoom · 13/12/2021 09:21

Update. I invited a friend round to decorate the tree. We opened the Quality Street and Baileys and got Christmas music on. It was great! DH actually joined in unasked. Later I put a photo on the family whatsapp. Both DDs replied with sad face emojis and said 'I wanted to do it too!"

I am fairly certain if I had suggested a particular time to do the tree I would have been told I wanted to control everything and whatever time I suggested they would have said they were busy!

OP posts:
Skiptheheartsandflowers · 13/12/2021 10:14

Good call OP Smile Now you know how to play this.

borntobequiet · 13/12/2021 10:22

Either:

Do it yourself, enjoy it and accept the situation as is

Or:

See if you can donate the tree and all its decorations to a local homeless shelter or similar. Tell your family beforehand if you feel like it.

borntobequiet · 13/12/2021 10:22

Oops hadn’t read the update!

Glad it worked out.

ChocolateRiver · 13/12/2021 10:24

I get where you’re coming from, but I like doing the tree by myself 🤷🏻‍♀️ Other people put things in the wrong place so I end up moving stuff anyway. They just mess it up! I wouldn’t ask again I’d just get on with doing it. If they want to help they’ll just have to join in. I wouldn’t wait for them if all they’re doing is lounging around.

AlbertBridge · 13/12/2021 10:29

I love your update! IMO that was the perfect thing to do.

AlbertBridge · 13/12/2021 10:31

My experience is that I end up doing things and then get told I am uptight and impulsive.

Who's calling you that? Your DH? That's shitty. I might have an unusual DH but I can honestly say he's never called me stuff like that - and I'm annoying!

collybubble · 13/12/2021 13:57

[quote CommonRoom]@Tittyfilarious81 The thing is though, I have spent the last 20 years instigating absolutely everything to do with Christmas. I want to feel part of a family which does things together, not one which has to be chivvied into doing things. My experience is that I end up doing things and then get told I am uptight and impulsive. I really hoped that by asking them to choose when they wanted to do it I could make it more of a family thing than a mum bossing everyone thing.[/quote]
Why do you bother though? Nobody else cares. Your kids are adults

Dont be a martyr

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