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Original poster

SO annoyed with myself for this reaction to playground mums

125 replies

Ryderweneedyou · 10/12/2021 16:53

I'm posting for solidarity, or for everyone to tell me to pull myself together.

I'm a nice person. I'm kind, I'm fun, I'm good at my job, love my family, volunteer in my spare time etc etc BUT one scathing comment from the bloody playground mean mums and I feel literally 2 inches tall.

As a bit of background, there is a little group of these mums in DDs year. DD is close friends with some of their DC (Yr 2) so I always make an effort. I honestly get on with people in most circumstances, I just dont know what is the matter with these women. At pick up, everyone stands in a horizontal line in the playground as the kids wait at a distance from us until they spot a parent and ask to be released. So today, I head into the playground and end up standing next to one of these mums. I've spoken to her a dozen times before, our kids are friends etc, I've had her DD over to play etc so I said 'hello, how are you'. She gave me a tight smile, a (disapproving) look up and down, turned to the mum on the other side and started a story about how she had invited absolutely everyone she knew to her big xmas get together, it was going to be just amazing, 'everyone fun' from the year is going etc etc. It was so overt. Worse, a parent I dont know on my other side obviously clocked the whole thing and gave a sympathetic smile, so everyone knows I'm a pariah.

Obviously, if this happened to someone else, I'd be able to reassure them without a doubt that rude mum was a dick. But when it happens to me, I'm pushed right back into my secondary school self, convinved that every cool, thin, glossy girl (now school mums) just hated my weird chubby unpolished self. Not helped by the fact that this group is very beautiful and immaculately groomed and I'd just huffed in like a fat, messy huricane. Anyone willing to sympathise or tell me to grow up?

OP posts:
jeanne16 · 10/12/2021 19:30

We had this with my DS when the young yummy mummies all linked up. However 3 of us excluded mums bonded and 18 years later we are still good friends. I am sure you can do similar.

sjxoxo · 10/12/2021 19:35

Says more about her own insecurities than you. She’s a cow who struggles with self worth is my guess. Rise above it- I’d say something like ‘oh have a fabulous party!’ And not care a monkeys about going. Do you really want to spend time with them.. I wouldn’t- I could say ‘oh have a fab party!’ with a smile on my face & genuinely be happy I’m not going. If she was particularly Dickish I would say ‘we are going to insert super fun family activity or event here, don’t you just love this time of year!” Smile with every facial muscle I have and leave head held high! Xxx

Thatsplentyjack · 10/12/2021 19:53

@HarrisMcCoo

Just ignore rude comments or folk at pick up. I had some dad say "alright then 🙄" when my tired 4yo roared at him. He is only small and very tired from his day at nursery. I would just laugh if someone's child did same to me. They are only tiny.

We all have incidents that happen at those gates. Best to ignore them. Move on.

Your 4 year old roared at someone, and your pissed off at the person they roared at because he said "alright then" Confused.

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HarrisMcCoo · 10/12/2021 20:27

You had to be there to get the context of it Thatsplentyjack but anyway back to the OP... just one of many things that can happen at school gates, you get all sorts of people and it's just something you have to accept.

I have been glared at by a random parent for no apparent reason but you just have to brush it off. She may have just had a bad day.

You also just get rude folk in general.

foreverandalways · 10/12/2021 20:30

Head up and shoulders back...they can all fuck the fuck off! 😡

EnrouteNOTonroute · 10/12/2021 20:40

Jesus Christ have I got all this shit to look forward to?
Fucking hell

HarrisMcCoo · 10/12/2021 20:53

Once they are in high school, you have no involvement with other parents. It's great.

FabriqueBelgique · 10/12/2021 20:59

@WinterDeWinter

God, what it it with people OP? Next time please say 'Blimey, that was rude' in a sort of puzzled, and definitely audible, voice.

I did it once without meaning to (ADHD blurting) and it was so satisfying and effective that I've used it again a few times with excellent results. They've always looked chastened (and foolish) and you still get the empathetic looks.

Ooh I love this!
Italyanyday · 10/12/2021 21:02

If it helps, I'd rather stand in the playground with you any day of the week. They sound awful. I avoid judgey types like the plague. My kids and I don't need that in our lives. Life is too short as it is.

Needspace21 · 10/12/2021 21:03

Some people are just rude fuckers. Honestly just sit tight and they'll all be shagging each other's spouses in a few years and you can watch and laugh.

This. They will get too close too quick and it will all turn to shit in due course.

TheVolturi · 10/12/2021 21:07

She sounds like a knob!
I've learned to ignore this type. There is a snooty mum at our school, she only says hi when the fancy takes her and mostly just sneers. I don't give her the chance now, I ignore her!

spaceghetto · 10/12/2021 21:10

I am in this situation too or I should say I was. I wanted to be in the group for my son's sake so he would get invited to parties and play dates. I now realise it's better to not be in this group and that my child will do just fine making his own friends!

ItsSnowJokes · 10/12/2021 21:13

I had this sort of shit with my eldest. She is now an adult but my youngest has started reception this year, I just keep to myself in the corner of the playground and probably look like a right miserable bitch but I can't be dealing with all the bullshit and politics. The children go to school, I don't need school mum friends. I work school hours and just want to pick up and drop off in peace.

Wineandroses3 · 10/12/2021 21:15

One of the playground mums did something similar to me but I can from the bottom of my heart say I could not give a flying f! She’s an absolute tosser, I can’t stand her and I’d rather be me 1 million times over than be her! Ignore the stupid bitch x

Wrllkid · 10/12/2021 21:17

I have a full time job so it’s a quick drop off and pick up for me! Don’t even queue as always late!
3 kids, two different school. There are similar mums at our schools too and one of them did ask me if I wanted to meet a group of them in the park but I refused and said sorry we are too busy! Which we are. Kids see their friends at school and that’s enough.

givethatbabyaname · 10/12/2021 21:19

They sound totally uncouth. Whatever the circumstances, you don’t need to socially engineer your DD into their circle.

FabriqueBelgique · 10/12/2021 21:25

I’ve had the same experience with the playground!

The mum of my DCs best friend was literally calling me a “lovely lady” and walking the school run with me whenever I would agree to watch her daughter for her (for entire work days) but would be all tight-lipped when I tried to make conversation or say a passing morning hello in between those times!

After months of this she all but blanked me one morning again (we walked the same way to school so would pass each other a lot), then text me that afternoon too ask me to please pick her daughter up from school as she wanted to do over-time and to reply quickly because her phone battery was about to die! CF!

I refused to acknowledge her anymore from that point on and didn’t reply to her text.

I’ve had mums I’ve spoken to at length one on one waiting for our kids at parties be really snooty and uninterested in the playground.

I gave a small group of mums from my child’s class a warm smile as they joined my table waiting for a party to finish and every one of them dead-eyed me.

I had a queen-bee type befriend me very quickly, we went on lovely days out with our kids and even a trip just us when the kids were with their dads.

She then randomly lost her temper at me for wasting her time (it was her own mis-understanding of where to meet!) and proceeded to treat me like a leper in the playground from then on. This meant I usually stood on my own or talked to mums from other classes because she commandeered the rest of our class mums all around her.

There have been a lot of really nice mums out there to chat to, but i eventually just turned up bang on time for school drop offs and pick ups with my later DCs.

MushMonster · 10/12/2021 21:33

Do you want to go to this party, to be feeling miserable? No, you do not.
So you have not lost anythung. Actually you are lucky not to be wasting your time on this "fun" people.
So stand very tall OP.

Nomorefuckstogive · 10/12/2021 21:36

One of the best things about being an older mum and only able to pick up one day a week. I was super friendly to absolutely everyone for that one day. I think they were either too scared or too taken aback to be bitchy! Ended up making one or two friends for life (that’s plenty IMO.)

Nomorefuckstogive · 10/12/2021 21:37

You are so much nicer and with much better manners than them. Just. Plain. Rude.

Atla · 10/12/2021 21:42

Agree with pp who said they will all end up falling out - I promise you, it'll happen. She sounds like a delight, just do an eye roll and ignore the bitch. Or, nudge the nice normal mum beside you, mouth 'what the fuck'? And laugh together

Atla · 10/12/2021 21:42

Or best of all ignore

mm40 · 10/12/2021 21:45

I could have written this myself - fuck them…. Tossers.

Katerurn · 10/12/2021 21:54

Playground politics are the worst! I refused to get involved with the PTA, apart from the fact I work long hours and have no time, it's usually the 'queen bees' who are usually heavily involved in them. I would rather stick needles in my eyes than spend time biting my tongue (which has never been a strong point) and having a rictus smile on my face.

I do take great delight in assigning them all new names and apparently my impersonation skills are second to none 🤣

Airyfairymarybeary · 10/12/2021 22:01

Count yourself bloody lucky to not have to mix with a rude cow like her!