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58 yo woman plots to overthrow the government

454 replies

shakingmytambourineatyou · 07/12/2021 20:19

Right. I am now so sick of just about everything, the plots, the lies, the policies, that I am thinking of nipping down south (if there are any trains/tubes) and overthrowing the government. What will I need? Should I take sandwiches?

OP posts:
EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 08/12/2021 22:55

@midlifecrash

If we are open to —bribes-- sponsorship we should look higher than Ferraro Rocher. Some chaise longues with wheels for example - essential for the barricades
Suppliers of Bear lemon drizzle, and naice ham (maybe Nigella's ham in coke to be a bit more festive)?

Maybe audiobooks - popular recordings might be Why Mummy Swears or The Politicisation of Mumsnet ?

www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Mummy-Swears-Sunday-Bestseller-ebook/dp/B078QXV2JD/?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1839094710?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

MarieVanGoethem · 08/12/2021 23:04

From the amount of cats (& indeed few dogs willing to brave said feline horde) possibly ZooPlus as a “sponsor”? (Might have to commandeer supplies from Household Cavalry [Horseguards being just down the road] for the pony that was mentioned somewhere upthread though… am sure they won’t mind…)

Have realised that I have to be on other side of bridge from Parliament on Monday & Wednesday next week & will be travelling by car (because I am a precious & fragile little blossom &c) so could (my parental unit being An Obliging Sort) come & provide supplies/fuss some cats.

Plantsandpuddlesuits · 08/12/2021 23:11

I'm having an early night in preparation Grin got my very revolutionary spiced ribena and am settling down with the ipad now. And toddler who has wound himself around my leg like some sort of leech.

I presume toddlers are welcome in MN number 10, the present incumbent has enough children that surely there must be various toys etc already there so we can travel light Grin

MarieVanGoethem · 08/12/2021 23:17

Bother!

I forgot to say! @shakingmytambourineatyou, please please PLEASE enact transfer of power by defenestration - appropriate; a crowd pleaser; & not only more modern than bits of Greek & Latin Johnson butchers to remind us He Is Very Smart, more accessible to the citizens of the country you’ll be governing, too.

comfortablyfrumpy · 08/12/2021 23:43

@HeronLanyon I am rather hoping that The Archers will be required listening (and that Radio 4 will be the station of choice in this new era) and actually one of the first Acts of Parliament under the new regime will reinstate Friday episodes.

Actually, I do think we need Linda Snell on board with all this - she's such a magnificent and persuasive organiser Grin and I think she would have no problems evicting Boris and his crew from No.10.

@midlifecrash how about sponsorship by Lindor? (Bagsy the black ones) or when you say aim higher are you talking Prestat or Godiva level? (To be honest, if it's chocolate, I'll eat it!).

Akire · 08/12/2021 23:49

I’m up for deputy disability minister, going be job share as can’t do full time.

Sorting out teeth to Equality and Disability acts that are over 20y old and remain formerly in the “that’s lovely if you want to it it” box but oh well nothing we can do if you refuse.

Already in London so can offer accessible flat and wet room because if you try get one on air b n b there’s only one in central london and it has crap reviews.

KloppsTeeth · 09/12/2021 00:08

We could use this building for meetings with foreign dignitaries. They are sure to be impressed by the ultimate stunt pineapple

58 yo woman plots to overthrow the government
loislovesstewie · 09/12/2021 05:27

I shall happily assist with the onerous task of defenestration. I do know Latin however and hope this won't preclude my offer being accepted.

camperqueen54 · 09/12/2021 05:29

Are you all still proud you voted Tory? I bet a fair few mums on here did!

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/12/2021 06:17

@camperqueen54

Are you all still proud you voted Tory? I bet a fair few mums on here did!
Are you proud you voted Tory? Because you're on here too so your logic applies to you too.
loislovesstewie · 09/12/2021 06:49

FWIW, I have never, ever voted Tory.

SpindlesWinterWhorl · 09/12/2021 07:06

I am prepared to be the Minister In Charge Of Not Voting Tory.

An attaché case has been ordered for my potted crab baps.

ArabellaScott · 09/12/2021 07:19

Voting Tory hasn't happened yet in this house, however I am hoping Liz Truss will defect and join us.

Are we doing the Other Place, too, or can they be trusted to work with the MN insurrection?

Lastly I'm hearing there may be some leftover cheese and wine at no 10, bags me the manchego.

ablutiions · 09/12/2021 07:48

@ssd

Can we check out toilet locations before setting off?

My bladders not as good as it was Blush

We could have she wees made with our party logo.

By the way what is our party logo ? Or should we have a flag instead Grin

Malibuismysecrethome · 09/12/2021 07:54

I’m in. I make a lovely cup of tea and coffee, and my sons swear I’m psychic which could come in handy

MarieVanGoethem · 09/12/2021 07:59

@loislovesstewie
Absolutely nothing wrong with (& indeed am all for, tbh) knowing & indeed using Latin. It’s when people abuse their 2.ii (funny we don’t hear so much about that bit, just the He Read Greats Don’t You Know) to try to assert authority & “superiority”. Euwurgh.

@camperqueen54
You realise that not everyone on MN is a parent, right? It expanded beyond “mums”… over a decade ago?
If you’re struggling to comprehend why, that would be, it includes: all the non-parenting-related boards; the fact we’re explicitly welcome to join according to MN; for some people other posters being mostly UK-based can be helpful when asking advice; & for lots of people, the dynamics of a[n online] conversation between a group comprised overwhelmingly of women feels more possible to engage in &/or with.
I’ve never even voted Tory in a mock election - as a wee girl in the run-up to one general election I’d not even take one of their stickers for avoidance all doubt, this is still true now.
What on earth made you try to inappropriately source a couple of Nativity donkeys over political inclinations of thread full of posters dreaming of actively overthrowing current government & “Tory voters”?

Double3xposure · 09/12/2021 08:30

@Plantsandpuddlesuits

as you can probably tell from my username I'm a gardener so shall I be in charge of setting up an allotment? If *@BackBackBack* sorts out the chicken for school meals ill sort the veg to go with it how does that sound?
Could we share the gardening remit please? You can do veg and I can can do ornamental .

I have a my first piece of legislation already drafted.

Total ban on large conifers in small urban / suburban gardens.

Large forest trees may be removed from such gardens but only if any issues can’t be resolved by lifting and thinning the crowns. If they are removed they must be replaced with several smaller trees.

New roads / estates must have proper street landscaping and tree lined streets.

No building of new homes on existing back gardens.

No paving over of front gardens. Even if they are urgently required for parking, this must be done with planting and suitable paving materials to allow proper draining of surface water.

Lower council taxes for people with a certain percentage of plants (preferably in the ground ) in their gardens compared to hard landscaping.

Free water butts and compost bins supplied by councils.

Gap sites in Residential areas must be turned into allotments and / or parks.

Free or subsidised short courses from colleges on gardening and allotments.

Schools / offices/ shopping centres / commercial buildings in cities must have green spaces for the users and parking (if required ) must be underground.

These measures will improve air quality in towns, light to domestic dwellings, the quality of the urban landscape, better community spirit and reduce flash flooding. And of course less waste to landfill.

Plantsandpuddlesuits · 09/12/2021 08:39

An excellent manifesto @Double3xposure and more than happy to share the load I can't grow anything pretty 🤣

We used to get a compost bin from our council but they scrapped the scheme due to underuse 😱

We do have an old compost bin at the bottom of the garden from the previous owners I really need to get it going again!

IWasWillingToGoWassailing · 09/12/2021 08:40

I'm in. Not quite 50 yet, but I can supply a yappy terrier to hassle the ankles of the current incumbents, and four extremely politically-engaged teens who all have Points They Wish To Make. I will also bring the Big Bad No I have been honing for 30 years and which can stop people in their tracks including the bastards vadalising our fence.

I don't think I want a cabinet position, but I'm extremely good at lists and prioritising other people so I'm happy to be a background Angry Female.

Oh, and can I suggest we use snail mail for important communications, once we've renationalised the Post Office and sorted out deliveries? The govt is so hung up on catching our cybercomms they'd never notice actual letters.

ArabellaScott · 09/12/2021 08:44

We need a Ministry of Compost.

loislovesstewie · 09/12/2021 08:52

What are we doing about the decorations at Number 10?

HeronLanyon · 09/12/2021 09:08

arabella if (presumptuous I know and this will not be ‘jobs for the girls’ obv) I am Agriculture and Fisheries (based on The Archers listening only) perhaps I could keep an eye on this ?

I will be interested to ban farmers use of fish waste to fertilise inland fields - gull, smell and noise nuisance. Key manifesto item surely ?

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 09/12/2021 09:20

By the way what is our party logo ? Or should we have a flag instead

Vipers, obvs.

Dies viperarum iracundarum

ArabellaScott · 09/12/2021 09:23

Heron, may I propose we keep any issues related to fishing completely out of any manifesto? I mean, maybe we can make some noise about the goodliness of fishfingers. But anything more complicated risks flotillas of Faragists floating up the Thames and getting in the way.

Hearting the vipers logo. What is our strapline?

ArabellaScott · 09/12/2021 09:24

Oh, sorry, the Latin. Very good! No idea what it means probably for the best, but that's sort of the point of Latin, as I understand it!