58 yo woman plots to overthrow the government

[shakingmytambourineatyou]

Right. I am now so sick of just about everything, the plots, the lies, the policies, that I am thinking of nipping down south (if there are any trains/tubes) and overthrowing the government. What will I need? Should I take sandwiches?

Ooh lovely. We will have the country sorted within weeks. Covid will beat a swift retreat in the face of Mumsnet management.

I’d like to offer my services as Agriculture Secretary. Used to be married to a farmer.

Or failing that Transport, since I recently did the Speed Awareness course.

Hell's Teeth, I wish this was real and we were off to storm the barricades

ArabellaScott

Also we could have a bake sale“

Patronising, much?

Perhaps you’re confusing OP with Sandi Toksvig?

What ever happened to her lot?

Ooh yes artisnal slippers @BackBackBack. They'll be a must.

Once we're in, we mustn't forget to fit a Ring doorbell, just in case Boris and his band try to come back - and of course this being MN we mustn't answer the door to anyone anyway

I will dig out my comfy waterproof boots, and find my camping gear. See you all outside No.10. What time is the rendezvous?

About bloody time

this being MN we mustn't answer the door to anyone anyway

We will have a written construction and the first amendment shall be, "no poppers in, this means you, no... not even just five minutes." Punishable by death stares and a stern talking to.

Once we are ensconced in number 10 does anyone mind if I listen to the archers ? Happy to use headphones. Thank you. This may in fact determine whether I join the uk group or maybe the international brigade who may be more understanding (through ignorance of the archers)

I've just come home after yet another short staffed NHS shift so any jobs going holding the ponies of people sorting out healthcare count me in.
I'm also ex army but don't ask me to shoot anyone I used to practice with my eyes shut.
@mumsnet this is definitely a classic.

@Camdenish

Wear your comfy shoes but we will have a basket of visitor slippers by the door of no. 10. I’ll do the washing up rota. If we all reuse our mugs it should simplify things.

How kind and thoughtful.

I have a Death Stare that can freeze stone and a Kill Voice that has stopped arsey teenagers in their tracks at 60 paces. I also have weaponised PMS so could be deployed to replace our entire armed forces (but only for one week per month).

@HeronLanyon

Once we are ensconced in number 10 does anyone mind if I listen to the archers ? Happy to use headphones. Thank you. This may in fact determine whether I join the uk group or maybe the international brigade who may be more understanding (through ignorance of the archers)

If you listen to the Archers you're well qualified for Minister of Agriculture.

I also have weaponised PMS so could be deployed to replace our entire armed forces (but only for one week per month).

Armed Forces will be entirely powered by Weapons of Menopausal Defence, including the Perimenopausal Forces of Fury and flanked by PMS territorials in shifts. We may be entering the opposite of the Cold War and moving into Hot Flush Hostility.

Oh atabellaof course! ive thrown my hat in the ring for lord chancellor as I’m a criminal barrister but I see others also want that (great gowns).
Ok agriculture (and fisheries?) it is then. Better listen back to episodes I glazed over a bit dealing with ‘the Mingus’ and subsidies and re wilding etc. Sure I’ll get to grips with it all.

I can't be the only one that's surprised that nobody has yet volunteered to sort out school meals with the fabled Mumsnet chicken?

I'm also presuming that someone will take on the 5pm burning of the tea towels (germ infested) and doing the rounds to make sure nobody has snuck in a toilet brush?

Right lads I've admitted defeat and cracked open the Christmas chocolates, shall I bring some tomorrow? Would go well with cheese and wine

as you can probably tell from my username I'm a gardener so shall I be in charge of setting up an allotment? If @BackBackBack sorts out the chicken for school meals ill sort the veg to go with it how does that sound?

Are they particularly revolutionary chocolates, Plants? Have they got those little crunchy bits of orangey sugar in them or something? Kirsch liqueurs?

@Plantsandpuddlesuits

as you can probably tell from my username I'm a gardener so shall I be in charge of setting up an allotment? If *@BackBackBack* sorts out the chicken for school meals ill sort the veg to go with it how does that sound?

I'm up for that. I have plenty of compost (many trees in garden) and a flourishing herb garden so can bring cuttings. Am vegan though so someone else will need to sort the meat and dairy 🤣

@ArabellaScott

Are they particularly revolutionary chocolates, Plants? Have they got those little crunchy bits of orangey sugar in them or something? Kirsch liqueurs?

hmm, these are not just revolutionary chocolates @ArabellaScott they are M&S revolutionary chocolates

@Plantsandpuddlesuits
Do you sign? If so maybe you should be in charge of selecting the interpreters for live press conferences. (Am not meaning to be rude/disrespectful, sorry: I’ve a friend who mostly lipreads & if it’s INSANELY loud around her might use some SSE - even just fingerspelling; but she also, depending on who she’s with/what she’s doing, signs, as do [most of] her friends from school as that was the ethos there.)

Seriously, Stormont cannot keep itself together over the very idea of an Irish Language Act; but COVID briefings had not only a BSL interpreter but there was an Irish Sign Language [ISL] Interpreter too; & now they are trying it out at Question Time too. About 4,500 BSL users in NI & 1,500 ISL users. And Westminster just kept ON with “it’s not necessary” - while d/Deaf people begged them to “it’s not possible” - while interpreters were suddenly out of work & even made it known they were available; & even the absurd “it’s not possible” when NI, Scotland & Wales were all doing it. (I’m not sure how many of the 87,000 deaf BSL users the RNID estimates are in the UK are in England, but… Have realised that I’m not sure if the numbers given for BSL/ISL users in NI are total users rather than just those who are d/Deaf, in the same way that there are 151,000 total users in the UK.)

@ArabellaScott

Are they particularly revolutionary chocolates, Plants? Have they got those little crunchy bits of orangey sugar in them or something? Kirsch liqueurs?

I think you might be thinking of York Fruits?

[quote MarieVanGoethem]@Plantsandpuddlesuits
Do you sign? If so maybe you should be in charge of selecting the interpreters for live press conferences. (Am not meaning to be rude/disrespectful, sorry: I’ve a friend who mostly lipreads & if it’s INSANELY loud around her might use some SSE - even just fingerspelling; but she also, depending on who she’s with/what she’s doing, signs, as do [most of] her friends from school as that was the ethos there.)

Seriously, Stormont cannot keep itself together over the very idea of an Irish Language Act; but COVID briefings had not only a BSL interpreter but there was an Irish Sign Language [ISL] Interpreter too; & now they are trying it out at Question Time too. About 4,500 BSL users in NI & 1,500 ISL users. And Westminster just kept ON with “it’s not necessary” - while d/Deaf people begged them to “it’s not possible” - while interpreters were suddenly out of work & even made it known they were available; & even the absurd “it’s not possible” when NI, Scotland & Wales were all doing it. (I’m not sure how many of the 87,000 deaf BSL users the RNID estimates are in the UK are in England, but… Have realised that I’m not sure if the numbers given for BSL/ISL users in NI are total users rather than just those who are d/Deaf, in the same way that there are 151,000 total users in the UK.)[/quote]
Hi, no I don't sign im afraid but would like to learn as they are expecting my residual hearing to get worse.

I rely on subtitles on the TV so maybe when we get settled in number 10 aka the mumsnet revolution HQ we can make it our mission to get all programmes subtitled.

@Puppymania

Chancellor of the exchequer for me please. I have a mean spreadsheet for family expenses and know my debits and credits. We can do this

Can I help? I can do pivot tables to show at a glance where the money is going.

Ooh, on the subject of chocolates, if we're all going to be forming a government, surely we get big piles of Ferrero Rochers on shiny trays all the time? And the pink wafer biscuits. I think they are definitely very revolutionary.

@Plantsandpuddlesuits
Definitely. Making BSL available in schools would be good too… I got to do one term of once a week after school classes in… I think it was Y12… I remember about as much of it as I do of the tiny bits I learned as a very wee child due to my aunt working at the RNID. (I hope you’re able to access classes soon btw, but also that you won’t need what you learn in them for as long as possible iyswim?)

@ArabellaScott
The subversiveness of the Pink Panther perhaps? (Have just discovered they are no longer vegan due to Brexit. Evil new manufacturers. )

If we are open to —bribes-- sponsorship we should look higher than Ferraro Rocher. Some chaise longues with wheels for example - essential for the barricades