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Original poster

would you cancel your long-awaited holiday?

72 replies

seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 19:51

I live in the UK with my American husband and our two sons. dS1 is 19 and at uni. DS2 is 16.

American husband has bought a ticket to go see his mum (hasn't seen her for two years for obvious reasons) in Florida. He leaves Boxing Day for two weeks.

I have booked to join him 2nd January for a week. Needless to say I've been looking forward to a holiday without kids in sunny climes. The 19 year old is happy to be the adult in the house for the week I'm away.

My problem is that (as I understand it) we'll have to take a test two days before returning home and if we are both positive then we won't be able to fly. Which my 19 year old is not going to be happy about.

I can cancel my trip and get a refund so long as there are 3 weeks to go. DH will have to go (to see parent).

it's a bit depressing but given the situation with the children am I pretty much morally obliged to cancel at this point? :(.

OP posts:
happytoday73 · 07/12/2021 19:55

You are going to cancel your trip on the possibility something happens because your 19 year old won't be happy?
Erm... OK....
Surely if they can cope for a week they can for longer

Serenschintte · 07/12/2021 20:05

I live away from my home country
I absolutely would go. For the following reasons: you have the opportunity to go, it’s important to see family, you will have a great time in the US.
Covid is here to stay - maybe this I now travel will look from now on.
Your 19 yo will be totally fine if you come back a bit later. Unless he has unmentioned additional needs? It’s not that you won’t be coming back if you get Covid. You’ll just come back a bit later.

Chewbecca · 07/12/2021 20:09

I wouldn’t cancel, am going to the US myself soon and leaving 18yo home alone. He’ll manage.

Faircastle · 07/12/2021 20:12

If your return is delayed, and the 19 year old has to go back to university for the spring term, is there a relative nearby that your 16 year old could stay with for a while? Or will he be living at home on his own? Is the 16 year old in Y11?

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 20:18

«If your return is delayed, and the 19 year old has to go back to university for the spring term, is there a relative nearby that your 16 year old could stay with for a while? Or will he be living at home on his own? Is the 16 year old in Y11?»

You’ve put your finger on the problem. The 19 year old isn’t the 16 year old’s parent.....and will need to back to Uni.
One of my brothers would probably come stay with the 16 year old but if I ask him he’ll tell my mum who has generalised anxiety disorder and will be a nightmare....

OP posts:
EinsteinaGogo · 07/12/2021 20:19

It's a really uncertain situation, OP.

What are the local US rules right now, if you did test positive before your return flight?

Things won't improve in the next month or so, so use those as a baseline for your decision?

Personally - I wouldn't take both parents out of the country right now with so much uncertainly.

DBI78 · 07/12/2021 20:22

If 19 year old can't stay longer than the week you will need a back up person a relative or friend just incase. The likelihood is it will be fine.

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 20:24

It’s Florida Einstein - they are pretty lax (to the point of being anti-vax).

It would be pretty disconcerting for me and kids if dh and I couldn’t return....

I respect that dh needs to go but it does get me down....I know it’s what I signed up for when I married someone with parents abroad plus had two kids....

OP posts:
GreenClock · 07/12/2021 20:25

I wouldn’t leave a 16yo home alone for more than a couple of nights OP so I see your dilemma. I’d feel the same.

Fretting about the return trip may spoil your holiday. I’d cancel, and promise MiL that I’d make every effort to go in the summer.

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 20:26

“If 19 year old can't stay longer than the week you will need a back up person a relative or friend just incase. The likelihood is it will be fine.”

He could but I guess I feel he comes first. He had a rubbishsummer but has now had a fab first term at Uni and will want to see the new friends...

They get on well, that isn’t a problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 20:27

“Fretting about the return trip may spoil your holiday. ‘

You’ve nailed it :(. Plus dealing with my own mother’s anxiety....

OP posts:
HairyToity · 07/12/2021 20:27

I personally would cancel, as the what if, would hang over me. Other people are more relaxed about such things.

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 20:28

“the what if, would hang over me”

Yes. It wasn’t cheap either (otherwise I’d have paid for all four of us....)

OP posts:
DivorcedAndDelighted · 07/12/2021 20:31

I wouldn't cancel. Assuming you're double vaccinated, the chances of you testing positive are low, especially if you are cautious while you are away.
In the unlikely event of your return being delayed, your DD is 16. Is she a fairly capable 16? I think the main thing is how you feel she would be - rather than your mum, whose nerves surely can't be allowed to limit the whole family. But only you know the individuals involved and how they'd react.
I'd have had no qualms about leaving any of the 4 of mine who are over 16 at that age, supervised by a friend or sibling of mine. At that age I was regularly holding the fort while my parents and younger siblings were away, and looking after their animals too. I'm planning to travel in January myself and have also travelled recently. International travel is not going to suddenly become much easier for a while yet - the situation varies so much in different countries and of course there will always be new variants. My personal view is that I am getting on with life responsibly and seizing opportunities, because we never know what's round the corner.

rookiemere · 07/12/2021 20:31

I'm so sorry OP but I wouldn't go.

DH and I went to Barcelona two weekends ago without DS15 - his adult cousin came to our house. Fine except that was the weekend Omicron hit and all the rules started changing. Once Boris made his announcement on the Saturday,all I wanted was to get home, couldn't believe how stupid we had been to go abroad with the risk of being stuck there.

I'd cancel whilst you can still get a refund. I predict the airfares tumbling so if it does calm down over the next couple of weeks, I'm sure you'd be able to get flights.

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 21:12

Thank you rookie, it does sound like the trip was spoiled for you.

OP posts:
bert3400 · 07/12/2021 21:29

We are away on the 8th January to Barbados . Its been cancelled 2 times already and there is no way I'm cancelling again. But I can't get excited cause I just feel it going to be taken away from me again. Once i'm on that plane then I will get excited.

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/12/2021 21:32

Could you arrange a back up where your 16 year old stays w your brother?

I’d do all I could not to cancel, but agree you need a plan in place.

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 21:39

Thank you.
My brothers aren’t 100% reliable tbh. One is but gets stressed plus works full time. The other will tell my mum.

So basically the 19-year old is the backup plan.

OP posts:
WashableVelvet · 07/12/2021 21:44

Surely the 16yo can cope living with someone who works ft for a week or so? Safe familiar adult whose house includes a toaster and a fridge?

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/12/2021 21:47

Aha - could the 16 year old stay w a mate??

Fuuuuuckit · 07/12/2021 21:52

Does your 16yo have a school friend that would be happy to be on-call in the event of you needing to stay on?

My 16yo basically only surfaces for school, food, and if the WiFi goes down and loves a sleepover. I would absolutely volunteer for his friends to stay in your potential circumstances.

Bbub · 07/12/2021 22:31

I would cancel in your shoes I'm afraid op. Your 16 year old is your responsibility, I don't think it's appropriate to be lining people up as potential back ups. would be a different matter if something happened out of the blue, but not like this. I guess it depends on your rship with your brother though. And I don't really have experience of 16 year olds (can't remember what I was like at that age!) so maybe he would be fine, but I don't know it doesn't seem responsible of you...
I feel your pain though I really do, I'm also considering cancelling a holiday and I'm absolutely gutted that it's come to this!!

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 23:14

Bbub I think you are probably right.

“ Your 16 year old is your responsibility, I don't think it's appropriate to be lining people up as potential back ups”
yes and we don’t have fit grandparents to fall back on.... it’s only really parents and grandparents I could ask....

He’s too shy to stay at a friend’s - he would feel he was imposing.

Have reached the point of discussing cancelling with dh.

Dammit.

OP posts:
Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 23:15

Thanks for all the sympathy & thoughtful answers....

OP posts: