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Original poster

would you cancel your long-awaited holiday?

72 replies

seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 19:51

I live in the UK with my American husband and our two sons. dS1 is 19 and at uni. DS2 is 16.

American husband has bought a ticket to go see his mum (hasn't seen her for two years for obvious reasons) in Florida. He leaves Boxing Day for two weeks.

I have booked to join him 2nd January for a week. Needless to say I've been looking forward to a holiday without kids in sunny climes. The 19 year old is happy to be the adult in the house for the week I'm away.

My problem is that (as I understand it) we'll have to take a test two days before returning home and if we are both positive then we won't be able to fly. Which my 19 year old is not going to be happy about.

I can cancel my trip and get a refund so long as there are 3 weeks to go. DH will have to go (to see parent).

it's a bit depressing but given the situation with the children am I pretty much morally obliged to cancel at this point? :(.

OP posts:
gingercat02 · 07/12/2021 23:19

Does the 16yo have a friend with parents you know well enough to have as backup?

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 07/12/2021 23:31

Not really.... some neighbours he grew up with......but it’s a foreseeable problem not an emergency.....

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 08/12/2021 00:18

Well in that case I would try and agency like universal aunts - or one of the agencies that provides undergrad tutors. They'd provide a responsible adult to be in the house with him.

Stompythedinosaur · 08/12/2021 01:05

I would cancel in this situation - being away from a 16yo for a planned week is different from potentially being stuck and unable to reach them in an emergency for a longer period without reasonable care in place.

AmIgoinghomeforXmas · 08/12/2021 01:13

Currently is there more risk of picking up COVID in the UK than the USA, particularly the new variant ?

Traveling is stressful though, we are doing the reverse trip and I have minor nightmares about picking up the virus in the UK and getting stuck for weeks.

But we are going because everyone hasn't seen family for 2.5 years now.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 08/12/2021 07:33

OP, have you had a look at the proportions of people who do actually test positive in this situation? Getting some stats might help you to make a decision on the basis of probabilities rather than worry alone. Last time I checked it was below 1 in 500.
Your 19 year old might well be perfectly happy to take such a tiny chance of needing to study online for a few days at the start of term. In fact, the chances of him needing to do that for other reasons are far higher.
I have kids the same age as yours, and a couple of years older, nd I've seen them handle a few unexpected events - it helps them to become responsible adults. You're talking about a tiny chance here that they'll have to deal with something that's inconvenient, but not awful. Have you talked to both of them about it and asked how they feel?

Totalwasteofpaper · 08/12/2021 07:35

Controversially? I would go...

Summersdreaming · 08/12/2021 07:59

I would go! And have been abroad twice during covid.

rookiemere · 08/12/2021 08:02

Chances of actually catching covid may be relatively small ( although likely to rise as Omicron grows exponentially), chances of someone else on the plane having it either way and having to isolate as a result is fairly high - how many people generally are on one of those transatlantic jets, usually at least 500 Hmm?

Chances of either country coming up with new rules or stopping travel in the period, well based on the last two weeks ,pretty darn high.

It may be a growth opportunity for the 16 year old home alone, but as a DP it would suck all enjoyment from a one week holiday.

Switch82 · 08/12/2021 08:06

We went away over the summer with the same issue hanging over us but we were careful and managed to do a week with no problems. However we were all dreading the return LfT wondering what would happen if we tested positive! If you do decide to go book your return test in advance! we learned most people do that as it gets busy.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/12/2021 08:07

I dont understand why the 16yp cannot stay home without you all in the (very unlikely) situation that you have to stay in the US longer, does he have additional needs?

bluejelly · 08/12/2021 08:09

Sorry to hear. Can you not bring the 16 yo to Florida with you?

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 08/12/2021 08:42

No additional needs just very shy.

“It may be a growth opportunity for the 16 year old home alone, but as a DP it would suck all enjoyment from a one week holiday.”
Yes - and my mum would be stoking the flames of that too :(

OP posts:
Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 08/12/2021 08:44

Agree better if we all went or at least 16 year old went....

He wasn’t bothered about going - focus is more on developing social life inc. football team at home. As you would expect at that age.

OP posts:
Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 08/12/2021 08:45

I appreciate people talking this through with me btw.

OP posts:
oneglassandpuzzled · 08/12/2021 08:47

I missed if you’d had a booster? They seem to be very effective. Have one if you haven’t already and go.

DoThePropeller · 08/12/2021 08:53

I would absolutely go, risk is very small and 19yo can work remotely worst case scenario.

This is what travel is going to be like for at least the next year or two I would imagine, I’m sure your in-laws will be looking forward to seeing you and I’m sure you deserve the break too.

Roselilly36 · 08/12/2021 08:55

I would cancel, tbh, things are just so uncertain, Gov implementation of travel rule changes are so swift, It would stop me relaxing, but do what’s right for you. I would just say to DH go alone, obviously he needs to see his parent. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

ZenNudist · 08/12/2021 09:00

No way would I cancel this. 16 is old enough to be home alone in the unlikely circumstances you have to stay in America. Do you not have any friends who can check in on him or help out if the extreme happens?

I've known others go on holiday with restrictions like this and been nervous about getting stuck and then the cost of hotel etc. They were all fine. Would you be able to stay with MIL if you did have to stay or what would happen would it be a quarantine hotel?

ZenNudist · 08/12/2021 09:03

Actually your travel insurance should cover the cost of having to stay for another 10 days or whatever?

DivorcedAndDelighted · 08/12/2021 09:07

@rookiemere

Chances of actually catching covid may be relatively small ( although likely to rise as Omicron grows exponentially), chances of someone else on the plane having it either way and having to isolate as a result is fairly high - how many people generally are on one of those transatlantic jets, usually at least 500 Hmm?

Chances of either country coming up with new rules or stopping travel in the period, well based on the last two weeks ,pretty darn high.

It may be a growth opportunity for the 16 year old home alone, but as a DP it would suck all enjoyment from a one week holiday.

Let's break this down a bit. I work in health research and there's lots of great info out there to help people make choices now. If you are identified as a close contact of a positive case on the outward flight, you might be contacted by the US authorities and told to isolate there. You'd need to check their definitions of a close contact on a flight, eg many countries first check if the positive passenger was likely to be infectious, then trace others within either 2 seats, in any direction eg ECDC guidance . The UK is more cautious than most on this if there are multiple cases within one section, but it's the rules of the destination country that affect you. I don't know the general rules for the USA, but the CDC's Investigating Contagious Diseases on Flights explanation is helpful. All passengers on your flight to the USA will have been tested before boarding. So if you were identified as a close contact on the outward journey, your return journey would be delayed by a few days - you'd need to check US rules. If you were identified as a close contact on the return journey, you'd have to self isolate at home, so you'd be there for your 16yo. Chances travel rules changing during the week you're away - well, that's a judgement call. I'd be surprised if either the UK or the USA stuck each other on a red list in that short a time frame, but it's your call. I understand that many, like you @rookiemere, may find the worry would ruin the holiday, but thought it might be helpful for OP to weigh up her options.
DivorcedAndDelighted · 08/12/2021 09:09

Nb when travelling during Covid, I've taken extra LFTs with me to check during the holiday. That way, if I was positive I could self isolate earlier to protect others, and also be out of the isolation period sooner.

zafferana · 08/12/2021 09:11

If you were all going, I'd say go. We did last summer and it was amazing, but we were all together, so whatever happened we wouldn't have been stressing about one of our DC an ocean away from us.

In your situation, I would cancel, because I'd know that I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy it with that pre-return test hanging over my head.

Original poster
seethesuninwintertime · 08/12/2021 18:05

thank you both.

divorcedanddelighted that's really helpful. Everything is just so vague isn't it?

it's a short break but a long way..... and it would be the first time the two boys were completely alone in Uk.

I'll see what Boris says.....

I feel like a wuss because dh would like me to come - he was really pleased that I went for it.

OP posts:
MarmitesMyMate · 08/12/2021 18:13

No I wouldn't cancel.

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