Hit me up with your dad jokes

[BabyRace]

DFIL starts chemo next week. It's shit. We're trying to keep spirits up (but really just burst into tears at any moment).

I wanna send him a dad joke daily. He's the king of dad jokes and I know it'll bring a smile, even if it's temporary.

It's gonna be a long road, so as many as you can please!

What do you call a chicken with lettuce on its face?

chicken Caesar salad

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

I went into a shop and asked to buy a wasp. The man said, "Sorry, we don't seel wasps." I was outraged, I said, "Well why have you got one in tour window display?"

Did you know that when Charles Dickens wrote A Tale of Two Cities, he published it in two different newspapers?
It was the Bicester Times and the Worcester Times.

I just went to Tesco and saw a woman crying at the help desk because she’d lost her holiday money. I asked her if she was ok and gave her £100 out of my pocket. I wouldn’t normally, but I’d just found two grand in the car park.

sell
your

A giy goes into the doctors and drops his pants to find a steering wheel on thecend if his todger.

Doctors sas "howvdid that get there?"

Guy says " Don't know but its driving me nuts."

I'm so sorry for your loss OP 💐

Someone broke into my house last night and stole all my shiny purple suits. The police are dusting for Prince.

What do Spanish carpet fitters put down to reduce wear?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why are mountains so funny?
they are hill areas

@BabyRace thank you for the update and so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Babyrace.

What do you call a man with no shins

Tony

Just seen the update. So sorry OP

💐Sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss. I've been watching this post and enjoying it so I hope it brought you all some light relief in the hard times