Do you ever come across someone "everyone" loves but you don't?

[QualityChecked]

This is a woman in her 30s, very beautiful and very lively. Good fun, accomplished in her career, got lots of nice things to say to people.

People don't just like her, they think she's absolutely wonderful. People (men and women) are always telling me what an amazing person she is.

I find her manipulative. She can get anyone to do anything for her, hardly ever pays for a drink or a meal, agrees to go to everything but often doesn't show or leaves very early because she has some other thing on the same night.

It's just me though, everyone else seems to think it's fine for the opportunity to bask in her light. Probably I sound jealous, but it's not that, I'm just baffled why others see her so differently to I do.

Amanda in Motherland plays this character, when it's obvious someone like Liz (think she's a brilliant character very funnily played) would be a much better mate although rougher round the edges etc. I do find Julia the main character, although not in the Amanda entourage, very irritating to watch though and very manipulative herself. I bloody hate that false quick smile she does after a sentence sometimes too, which she (or the actress) actually did when playing the police commander role in a serious drama later. I couldn't watch anymore 😂

Yes! I have a finely-honed judgment that comes from being the daughter of a woman everyone saw as amazing but who terrorised me behind closed doors.

I knew a woman like this who I found hard work. I didn't exactly dislike her, in fact, I admired her a great deal as she was/is very successful and hardworking and has a lot of very positive qualities. But I just didn't have the adoration and I don't tend to fawn over people or be breathlessly delighted that they have breezed into a party to hog the limelight for an hour. I was trying to work out what (apart from envy) made me uncomfortable around her and realised everything had to be on her terms. I once disagreed with her in public and she was quite brisk that anyone dared do anything other than coo in adoration.

@Iamthemaid

You could be descrbing a narcisst

Agree

I know a guy like this at work. Everyone loves him but I find him to be a smarmy snake who has tried to get me in trouble before. He is very two faced.

Yes I know one of these, a work colleague. Men (in the main) think the sun shines out of her arse, though some women do too. Theyre all usually quite reasonable bpeople which is why I find the fangirling over her so odd. She seems to generate massive of sympathy over a sad (but not remarkable) background, lots of others in work have far sadder back stories. She's incredibly ambitious but lacking in experience and ability, and has been promoted twice to roles she can't really cope with. I find her sly and smug, and I know that given she'd sell her own grandmother to get ahead, she would absolutely trample over other colleagues to get there. She has in the past tried to tell me how to do my job, despite the fact I've got 20 years more experience, and she's never dealt with any of the technical stuff I'm involved in. She's currently on secondment to another business area and I'm hoping she stays there.

Oh and he was like that because he tried to get me to hate someone else and I really like her so it didn't work

Sit it out OP. After a while people will see it too.

@TwilightSkies

I see straight through people like that. And they can tell I can, and therefore don’t like me because I don’t play along.

Me too

Because humans are primitve animals and make lots of snap judgements based on first impressions. Trust me they'll see through it as well.
I can spot these a mile away and the more 'charming' someone is the more likely it's fake!

I have come across several people like this. The first was at university, a girl who was incredibly friendly with men and not interested in other women as friends. She was very good at hiding it, some other women would have thought she was their best friend, and I never really discussed it with anyone as she was so popular and considered bubbly and charismatic. I was always pleasant to her, but always had the feeling that she was wary of me and knew that I saw through her.

I lived with someone like this at uni in a house share. She was confident and beautiful, very used to lots of make attention, but once you got to know her she had a weird / not nice side - classic example: she didn't like it once when a man turned her down and she said to me (in all seriousness and not as a joke) "but I never lose!" She also took a particular shine to one housemate and suddenly it was like the rest of us didn't matter. I once answered the door to her and she didn't even say hello, just immediately said "where's [girl's name?]?!" It was weird.

I used to know an awful relative. No contact now but lots of people thought she was great as she did some kind deeds but underneath she was a manipulative bitch and one of her key traits was she always made sure everyone knew how wonderful she was, absolutely zero modesty. E.g. she was a child-minder and would occasionally do stuff like iron for the parents but not out of the goodness of her heart, only so she could boast about it in cringey depth later. Other people seemed to lap it up but I always found it very embarrassing. Also if anyone did anything 'not good enough' for her she'd lose her temper. I once sent her a Christmas card she didn't like and she was genuinely furious for 4 whole weeks. Very glad to no longer have to deal with that shit!

Male attention not make!

Some of these are wild!

I'm also dying to know who the Mumsnetters are who have been mentioned on here...I think I can guess one.

Oh come on we all know who the famous mumsnetter is 🤣

My old team lead was like this. Everyone (who didn't work directly under her) still sings her praises 6 months after her leaving. There was even talk of her being headhunted back.

She made mine and my colleagues life miserable. Lots of low level things (indirect threats "you wouldn't want senior management to pick up on that" / picking apart emails that we sent (or worse still jumping in on them to point out 'errors') / taking credit for things we did well and passing the buck for errors she made / micromanaging us to the extent we'd have to let her know if we were going to be away from our desk for more than 10 minutes / overinflating her responsibilities to us (telling us she'd been tasked with XYZ when we'd never see any evidence) / making us pass holiday requests through herself even though she didn't approve our leave. The list goes on.

With her it may have been more down to how she treated her underlings versus her superiors.

@ICanSeeARainbow123

Oh come on we all know who the famous mumsnetter is 🤣

I've been on MN for about 15 years and didn't know there even was a famous MN-er.

I know someone like this;she's achieved what she has professionally because she's very popular,she was the girl at school the girls wanted to be friends with and the boys wanted to date.This hasn't changed and she uses it to her advantage,she's manipulative and uses other people for her own personal and professional gain.I have personally seen her stepping on other people at work to get where she wants to be.

@lunarlandscape, The only famous one I can think of has never been beloved on here. She's just very straight talking and never seems to name change.

I'll never be mumsnet famous because I change names at least once a week!

I used to know some one like this.....but she was so self entitled and dominant that I dont think anyone wanted to say how they really felt about her in public or to other friends as they would be on the receiving end of her criticisms etc

I remember a guy at uni who everyone thought was hilarious and was ok to me but I noticed his quips at some people's expense, and people who'd never done him or anyone any harm, could be quite nasty and bullying. I never trusted him.

Oh come on we all know who the famous mumsnetter is 🤣

Do we?! I have no idea. How far back do we need to go for this?

Ooh God this thread makes me feel vindicated !! I know a couple of people like this who everyone gravitated to but as a PP said I could see flashes of slyness or meanness when they thought no one was looking.

I used to feel bad thinking I was bitchy or jealous but that really is not it. I know other bubbly chatty people who amuse me. Who have me in stitches. And even quiet, introverted people who are incredibly charismatic when you get to know them.

But they are not the ones who people flock around...

My mother (I’m nc)

She glides though life picking up and dropping people as she goes

People fawn over her and kiss her arse all the time-if only they heard what she says behind their backs

Her word is law to whoever she meets

She’s a narcissist and underneath it all she’s sly,nasty,will bad mouth anyone who gets in her way and will screw you over but in a way that you’ll thank her for doing it

Her job is to help old people stay in their homes

She bitches about them,steals from them and does the bare minimum

They all (apart from one bloke who knew,tried to speak out but got hushed up then died) think the sun shines out of her arse

I got sick of seeing/hearing the grateful families thanking her for everything she did when the oldie died-and she really doesn’t deserve the thanks-she deserves locking up

She gets away with so much

It’s maddening to watch

My neurodiverse brain sees right through anyone like that. They also take an instant dislike to me lol