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Original poster

I want to live in a rural village and be a primary school teacher

309 replies

MrsCremuel · 21/11/2021 11:52

Or something of that ilk? I have a DH, baby and toddler and want to overhaul our lives. I’ve never really done anything drastic in life, mainly because family (parents etc) circs but I’ve always hankered after a different sort of life.

I hate the southeast. So busy and over priced. I desperately want to live somewhere rural. DH could take redundancy, sell a flat he owns and we could live mortgage free. I’m planning on retraining anyway so could get a job so could do anywhere. We recently had 6 weeks off together with the new baby and it was bliss. After wfh stops DH will be back to being out of the house from 7.30-7.30 4 days a week with one day wfh. I don’t want to go back to that, it’s been so good for our toddler and me to have him around more!

Anyone done something drastic to overhaul their lives? Am I being a whimsical fool?

OP posts:
Kikkomam · 21/11/2021 15:25

Everyone I know who lives here (rural) loves it.

I'd absolutely hate to move back to London. Nice for a visit though.

Kanaloa · 21/11/2021 15:31

@TatianaBis

I’m glad you like the countryside. As I said in my post, it’s great for some people.

However, in op’s case it doesn’t sound like she’s really prepared to live rurally - as she said a rural village - and is basing it off her ideas of visiting the countryside on holiday. I think if you’re going into it with the idea it will be a rural fantasy you’ll be disappointed.

Also, op isn’t a writer, doctor, or architect. Yes there are jobs in the countryside but her plan is to become a teacher, a job she has no experience of, so she can work in a rural primary school. Again, not thought out.

makelovenotpetrol · 21/11/2021 15:32

@Suprima

Why do you want to be a primary school teacher? Confused

From a primary school teacher

That was going to be my response.

Fyi OP ; moving to the countryside and being a primary teacher isn't going to be like being Miss Honey in Matilda. You're still subject to all the usual teaching bullshit and you'll be as pissed off as the rest of us in no time. Now I'm very much stuck in my career as it's all I've ever done and I don't know what else I'd do, but I wouldn't ever recommend it as a career overhaul!

Oftenithinkaboutit · 21/11/2021 15:32

Grew up rural

Absolute pain in the arse from tween onwards for a decade. For everyone in family.

Consequently my siblings and I… all live in cities or towns with amazing transport links. Surrounded my beautiful green spaces and woodland. No way was I putting my very sociable and sporty children (or me!!) through thag!

Veeveeoxox · 21/11/2021 15:33

Please don't for selfish reasons really Grin prices have shot up , up here due to South east /London moving here with their money. I really hope people get told to go back to the office so they stop!

Another note I live semi rural so I have access to super markets our local town is 15 minutes away if we want to have a proper day out I have to drive at least 25- 40 minutes to do activities with DD like the trampoline park soft play when she was younger that is the pain in the bum bit. Lack of food and takeaway choices we just have curry really and have to go out and drive far to sample different cuisines. Broadband also isn't the best and I'm semi rural so not that bad you need to do your research lots of people dream of living in the country but it doesn't suit quite a lot of people.

Dontgetyerknicksinatwist · 21/11/2021 15:34

Go for it OP but bear in mind that lots of other people have thought of the exact same thing. A lot of people from the south east have moved to my area. In the nearby village two big luxury housing estates have been sprung up to meet the extra accommodate the extra demand. It very much feels like a commuter village now.

Veeveeoxox · 21/11/2021 15:39

Also there isn't necessarily a community feel I maybe speak to my neighbour in my village possibly 3 times a year. I moved to the country as a teen aged 15 this was fully rural area and started binge drinking with friends as that's what all the teens did as there was nothing to do .

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/11/2021 15:39

Are you actually qualified as a primary school teacher?

And what does your DH think of your plans?

irregularegular · 21/11/2021 15:43

I think people dismissing the idea of moving to a village for a community feel, countryside etc are being a bit unreasonable. Just because they don't like the idea of village-life, or some villages are not particularly attractive, friendly places to live, doesn't mean it can't be a better option for the OP than living in a city. The primary school teacher idea, however, may need more thought.

We live in a largish village (3000). It is beautiful, with an incredibly strong and active community, and uplifting in every way. Our kids (now 18/19) have always loved it. It is, however, easily commutable to London/Oxford and therefore very expensive! However, there must be similar lively, friendly (and less expensive, though not dirt cheap) villages near to places like York, Manchester, Leeds etc.

I think however the starting point must be to consider jobs that OP and husband could do, that do not require commuting to London (but maybe with a shorter commuter to a cheaper, smaller, more accessibly city), and could perhaps could be done on a more flexible/wfh/part-time basis.

Lots of options to explore, I'm sure! Very exciting to feel so open minded and untied down!

icedcoffees · 21/11/2021 15:46

I think people dismissing the idea of moving to a village for a community feel, countryside etc are being a bit unreasonable. Just because they don't like the idea of village-life, or some villages are not particularly attractive, friendly places to live, doesn't mean it can't be a better option for the OP than living in a city.

It seems very popular on MN to hate rural living at the moment Wink

I mean, of course it's not for everyone but people saying OP will hate it because they hated it are being a bit daft, really.

Plenty of people DO love living rurally or else nobody would do it.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 21/11/2021 15:48

Haddenham?

TatianaBis · 21/11/2021 15:50

@Kanaloa

I don't get that impression at all. OP just said she & her DH are happier in the countryside - same as a couple of my siblings which is why there live there an not in London.

OP also says she's very much a "realist and a planner".

Kanaloa · 21/11/2021 15:54

[quote TatianaBis]@Kanaloa

I don't get that impression at all. OP just said she & her DH are happier in the countryside - same as a couple of my siblings which is why there live there an not in London.

OP also says she's very much a "realist and a planner".[/quote]
Yes I suppose if she’s a realist and a planner she’ll have thought all the is through and will already have weighed up all the pros and cons of moving to a rural village and becoming a primary school teacher.

DraggedUpnotBroughtUp · 21/11/2021 15:56

Village life is all very well if you are the sort to join in!

It depends on your personality.

I am introverted and after 25 years here don't know a lot of people as I don't like pubs, don't use the social/ sports club, don't go to church or the WI, and my kids are adults who have moved away.

People are friendly. It's normal to greet anyone even if you have no idea who they are. Equally, it's obvious who the 'townies' are who move here as they don't know the country code of saying good morning to anyone and everyone!

My advice OP is you think about a career change first.
Then the location comes next.
And bear in mind your kids' needs change as they get older.
We had to have 3 cars at one point- for me and DH and DCs.

DraggedUpnotBroughtUp · 21/11/2021 15:57

[quote TatianaBis]@Kanaloa

I don't get that impression at all. OP just said she & her DH are happier in the countryside - same as a couple of my siblings which is why there live there an not in London.

OP also says she's very much a "realist and a planner".[/quote]
But it's not a case of a village OR London!

Most people do not live in a village or London.

There are many small towns and large villages that are a world away from London life.

Sleepinghyena · 21/11/2021 15:57

I moved from semi rural (what other posters are calling rural, 3 miles from a town) to mega rural. Verging on non existent public transport, 10 miles to high school, 25 miles to town/cinema/shopping centre.
My 3 teens hate it and never miss an excuse to tell me so.
Wifi is dire (no fibre available) which they also hate. We are permanently taxi ing them about in different directions at different times day and night.
I wouldn't move rurally with kids if I knew what I know now.

DraggedUpnotBroughtUp · 21/11/2021 15:58

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Are you actually qualified as a primary school teacher?

And what does your DH think of your plans?

She's not or why would she talk about retraining.
TatianaBis · 21/11/2021 15:58

@DraggedUpnotBroughtUp

No-one has said it was.

The reference to London in my posts is because the siblings I mentioned were originally Londoners.

Bideshi · 21/11/2021 16:02

@Gwenhwyfar

"But they still do normal things like hang out with friends, go to the cinema, go shopping etc. "

They're not that rural if they're within easy distance of a cinema and shopping and if they can take the bus.
OP said rural village so I imagined somewhere quite some miles away from a small town and further away again from a medium-sized town with cinemas and clothes shops. Obviously, if she means a suburban village, it's quite different.

I live at the back of beyond, not even in a village. My kids and grandkids have been fine and have always done 'normal' things. It's an hour on the bus to 2 major cities where they go to the same gigs and they might in London. Cinemas are closer and still reachable on the bus. Social media works for rural kids too, although, yes, they do tend to learn to drive at 17! My daughter moved away to London, but moved back here after her marriage for the quality of life.

The point though is that it is a lifestyle. Despite what I say above it's not possible to graft an urban lifestyle onto a rural one. You have to be totally up for immersion in the rural one. Don't let the negativity here put you off. It sounds to me as if you have exactly the mindset to make a success of it.

ColinTheKoala · 21/11/2021 16:04

The countryside lifts my soul and DHs, we feel so happy there rather than a albeit lovely SE town. More family time in the week

the problem is unless you move to very rural Wales or Scotland, they are building new houses everywhere, you won't find a rural idyll. I actually think there are parts of the south-east which are much less busy than eg Devon and Cornwall.

As your kids get older they don't want "family time", they want to be able to see their friends.

OneWildNightWithJBJ · 21/11/2021 16:05

I’m a primary school teacher in a small village school. I’ve just quit.

ColinTheKoala · 21/11/2021 16:06

Another issue is that villages can be very claustrophobic and everyone knows your business. You may love that but think carefully if it's the right thing for you if you don't.

Brainwave89 · 21/11/2021 16:08

@FrancescaContini

You’ll regret being in a rural village once your children are older. There’ll be nothing for them to do.
Disagree. My kids loved living in a village, and there was plenty of things to do. It does put more pressure on parents to drive teenagers to places, but my kids enjoyed and benefitted from a rural life.
Kanaloa · 21/11/2021 16:11

@OneWildNightWithJBJ

Sorry to hear you’ve quit - unless it’s a happy occasion of course!

Can you share any of the pros and cons of the village school lifestyle? I imagine it’s not all Miss Read! Of course if you’re not comfortable doing so that’s all the same.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 21/11/2021 16:11

* my kids enjoyed and benefitted from a rural life.*

How so? Genuine question.

And presumably you were very available to collect and drop etc and friends, after school activities, matches etc