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I want to live in a rural village and be a primary school teacher

309 replies

MrsCremuel · 21/11/2021 11:52

Or something of that ilk? I have a DH, baby and toddler and want to overhaul our lives. I’ve never really done anything drastic in life, mainly because family (parents etc) circs but I’ve always hankered after a different sort of life.

I hate the southeast. So busy and over priced. I desperately want to live somewhere rural. DH could take redundancy, sell a flat he owns and we could live mortgage free. I’m planning on retraining anyway so could get a job so could do anywhere. We recently had 6 weeks off together with the new baby and it was bliss. After wfh stops DH will be back to being out of the house from 7.30-7.30 4 days a week with one day wfh. I don’t want to go back to that, it’s been so good for our toddler and me to have him around more!

Anyone done something drastic to overhaul their lives? Am I being a whimsical fool?

OP posts:
StolenAwayOn55thand3rd · 23/11/2021 08:09

Oh no @Kanaloa I wouldn’t call Drymen really rural either! They’re outside Drymen and surrounded by forest so it feels very rural… I suppose that’s also what a lot of others have highlighted, that you can get a rural feel without being far from amenities. Agree that there is a difference of opinion on it and I suppose if you’re used to the SE garden counties then a lot of the UK will feel wonderfully rural.

MCamp10 · 23/11/2021 08:48

Not true at all. My children grew up in a rural village and there was always plenty to do. They had freedom to play and roam without the constant worry of traffic, plenty of friends. They learned independence and confidence. There were plenty of extra curricular activities and opportunities.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 23/11/2021 10:19

@MCamp10

Not true at all. My children grew up in a rural village and there was always plenty to do. They had freedom to play and roam without the constant worry of traffic, plenty of friends. They learned independence and confidence. There were plenty of extra curricular activities and opportunities.
“Plenty of friends” “Plenty of extra curricular activities and opportunities”

I’m guessing that your version of “rural” may be somewhat different to others

MdNdD · 23/11/2021 10:37

I live in a rural area - the north east and hate it. I feel so cut off from the rest of the world, there are no jobs that fit in with raising a family, very little childcare. You still have to pay for food, petrol, utilities and council tax - none of these things are cheaper than London but you warn maybe a quarter of what you can earn in the south. There is no fun. Everything revolves around preparing for bad weather, surviving bad weather and recovering from bad weather. Never been so bored and frustrated in my life. But, some people love it…

speakout · 23/11/2021 10:47

MdNdD

I suppose there are bad rural areas, mmuch like there are good and bad city areas too.

I live in a rural-ish area, I have lived in a more remote place but moved a little closer to civilisation when my kids became teenagers.
I live 7 miles from the heart of a beautiful cosmopolitan city, 15 minutes from unspoit coastline where I can see seals and puffins.
I am surrouded by forest, see deer, woodpeckers and miles of rees in every direction- I have a large international airport 20 minutes away.
I can be in the heart of the city in 17 minutes by train.
Unemployment is low ,jobs are abundant and crime rates low too.
Although I am in "The North"- and I suspect further North than you I never feel "cut off".

I adore where I live.

MammaMacgill87 · 23/11/2021 10:51

To be brutal here if you 'crave community' a small rural village is not the way to go. Having come from a small village and then went on to live in a few others, rural life is weird and cliquey. The whole 'not local' vibe lasts for years. As soon as your kids get to school the lack of activities or anything to do is painful and as soon as they hit their teens they will be trapped and miserable. It's very very rarely picture perfect. Nice thought and I understand the need to get away, but definitely don't go head long and buy a property, rent for at least a year before spending alot of time and cash

Ahardyfool · 23/11/2021 10:56

It’s hard to truly define rural. I’ve lived on the side of a fell with no mains anything (electric, gas or water) and been 26 mile round trip to supermarket. I live now rurally where it’s 30 mins to a decent sized supermarket but also 15-20 mins to a train station, proper bus service or secondary school. Both equally rural but in slightly different ways. Both strongly farming communities.
Rural communities can be smaller but have better function - people looking out for one another etc. it can be difficult dealing with difference in such communities (we have autistic children and stepdaughter who is trans gender).
My teen children dislike the problems of access to friends and transport and fewer job opportunities (they are there if you’re flexible and go looking but the variety is less).
Trips to GP and dentist are easy (though car is vital) but hospital appointments are almost a whole day out - and costly.
Make sure to truly crunch the numbers as it’s not necessarily ‘cheap’ to live in areas where rent and wages can both be low and access to services costs more due to distance.

SWeeks123 · 23/11/2021 11:03

We did this - moved from south london to Wiltshire. Now in a little village with a pub and a school, and three other children of my sons age all in the village.
Might not be loads of paid activities for the children to do, but there will be summer jobs at the farm, and hanging out on the hills and dog walking and playing in the amazing village park.
Me and my husband both work full time, and the best part of covid has been me moving to home based and being able to walk my son to school each day. I rejoice in it - the playground chat, the meeting other parents, saying hello to the children in his class, seeing the costumes for children in need…
And I keep looking at teaching and would love to do it as the flex is there for holiday time child care - any teachers out there, please think first before shouting about the time you work. I get 25 days holiday per year to spend with my family, the rest of the time I have to pay for holiday time childrens clubs, so it’s a huge cost, and I would love to spend more time with my son, but can’t. Teaching is a way I could.
It’s a great adventure and has been every bit as picture postcard as I imagined. The thing I miss about london is the night life - drinks after work, cheap theatre tickets for that night, comedy and music for when you feel like it… but with a child, all that has to be booked in advance anyway, so not terribly different to booking a night in Bath or Bristol.

nocciola · 23/11/2021 11:39

I live in a rural village and I am a primary school teacher. I work until 6pm most days at school. When my son was younger, I used to pick him up at 6pm, get his dinner and spend time with him and dh then carry on working after he had gone to bed until 11pm typically and at the weekends. This is pretty much the norm, so if you want to spend more time as a family do not become a primary school teacher, may be a classroom assistant.

TheMarzipanDildo · 23/11/2021 11:43

“MCamp10
Not true at all. My children grew up in a rural village and there was always plenty to do. They had freedom to play and roam without the constant worry of traffic, plenty of friends. They learned independence and confidence. There were plenty of extra curricular activities and opportunities.”

“Plenty of friends”
“Plenty of extra curricular activities and opportunities”

I’m guessing that your version of “rural” may be somewhat different to others”

I would say it’s a reasonable description of what rural looks like in most of Britain. Confused Certainly England. This isn’t Siberia, nothing is ever really that far away.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 23/11/2021 11:54

I'm sorry posters are being so negative about your dreams.

In my view it's much better to try than live a half-life too afraid to break out.

I mean, you can always move back.

I had family who wanted to relocate to the in-law's home country. They talked about it for literally years. Eventually they sold their house, gave up their jobs and moved to Europe, only to find they hated it. They were back within 6 weeks!
But they were so much happier. They had taken a risk and answered some long-held questions about their lives.

They realised London was their home and got on with their lives with new energy.

When we moved across the world, we did leave a property rented out and give ourselves a year to try out the new country. For us it went better than we could have imagined, I think in part because we had set a time limit. At the end of the year we were very settled and sold our place back home.

So my point is, your dreams deserve attention. You could give it a trial run or you could open your mind to the possibility that it's OK to move back one day.

Either way, you've taken the risk and found out for yourselves what sort of lifestyle you're best suited to. You'll gain so much confidence.

Ignore the naysayers. For what is life if not to live?

Kikkomam · 23/11/2021 11:55

I don't know why people are sucking their teeth about this. Most rural villages are full of young couples who have relocated from cities for a nicer life. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.

AllOfMyLove · 23/11/2021 12:59

I did this - exactly. I left London with my two kids (now 5 and 2.5) after complaining about the cost and work life balance etc. wanted to be nearer family, have a nice house and garden, more disposable income etc. I moved during the pandemic. I work in a very rural school as a reception teacher, it’s a good job but I hate the drive. I hate it here. Turns out I’m a city girl at heart! We see our family less than ever, have less money, the house and garden are a headache and I struggle to spend any quality time with my kids. I actually called in sick today to have a breather as I’m sinking, and to spend a day with my youngest because she gets 0% of my time.

The grass is always greener I guess.

EnidSpyton · 23/11/2021 14:25

@SWeeks123

We did this - moved from south london to Wiltshire. Now in a little village with a pub and a school, and three other children of my sons age all in the village. Might not be loads of paid activities for the children to do, but there will be summer jobs at the farm, and hanging out on the hills and dog walking and playing in the amazing village park. Me and my husband both work full time, and the best part of covid has been me moving to home based and being able to walk my son to school each day. I rejoice in it - the playground chat, the meeting other parents, saying hello to the children in his class, seeing the costumes for children in need… And I keep looking at teaching and would love to do it as the flex is there for holiday time child care - any teachers out there, please think first before shouting about the time you work. I get 25 days holiday per year to spend with my family, the rest of the time I have to pay for holiday time childrens clubs, so it’s a huge cost, and I would love to spend more time with my son, but can’t. Teaching is a way I could. It’s a great adventure and has been every bit as picture postcard as I imagined. The thing I miss about london is the night life - drinks after work, cheap theatre tickets for that night, comedy and music for when you feel like it… but with a child, all that has to be booked in advance anyway, so not terribly different to booking a night in Bath or Bristol.
But you're not listening to what we're saying.

TEACHING DOES NOT GIVE YOU MORE TIME TO SPEND WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

Yes maybe you'll be around more during the holidays so won't have to pay for childcare. But you don't get the same holidays as your kids - you'll lose at least two weeks of the summer for inset days and classroom tidying/moving etc. You'll also need to spend a lot of time during the holidays getting ahead for the next term. You don't down tools on the last day of term and then get to spend six blissful weeks cavorting around.

And what you gain in holidays you'll lose during the week. You won't get evenings or weekends with your kids during term time.

I know you want to believe that you'd be different and it'd all work out fine for you and you'd be better organised than the rest of us etc (all the arguments I hear from people when I try to dissuade them), but trust me, you won't.

Read my earlier posts. You have no time during the day at school to do anything other than teach. So all the prep for the following day and all the marking from that day's teaching has to be done after the kids go home, which means you're taking it home with you to do. Unlike in an office job, you can't just say 'oh well, what doesn't get done doesn't get done', or 'I'll do it tomorrow', because you can't not have something to teach the kids in front of you the next day. It is relentless. There is always something that needs planning or marking. Primary school teachers get one or two hours a week in planning time scheduled into their timetables. That's it. And even then you're likely to get taken for cover or interrupted to sort out a crisis anyway, so you can forget managing to get anything done at school.

Teaching is a lovely thing to do. It really is. But the workload as things currently stand in schools is unmanageable around a family life. If you want to see and spend time with your children then don't become a teacher. You will spend more time with and thinking about other people's children than your own. That is the reality. You can ignore it if you like and go ahead and try it for yourself but at least please do go in with your eyes open.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 23/11/2021 15:28

@AllOfMyLove

I did this - exactly. I left London with my two kids (now 5 and 2.5) after complaining about the cost and work life balance etc. wanted to be nearer family, have a nice house and garden, more disposable income etc. I moved during the pandemic. I work in a very rural school as a reception teacher, it’s a good job but I hate the drive. I hate it here. Turns out I’m a city girl at heart! We see our family less than ever, have less money, the house and garden are a headache and I struggle to spend any quality time with my kids. I actually called in sick today to have a breather as I’m sinking, and to spend a day with my youngest because she gets 0% of my time.

The grass is always greener I guess.

No judgement

But another reason why your children attending a very rural school….
Nigh on impossible to get in subs at last minute

So children with teachers off often spend the day colouring in

LowlandLucky · 23/11/2021 16:54

Kanola South Ayrshire

AllOfMyLove · 23/11/2021 18:41

@Oftenithinkaboutit
Yes! Luckily it’s nativity season, and my class joins on to another so the cover work was nativity practice and just their usual reading/phonics. I knew that they wouldn’t get a sun in, but I chose a less busy day to be ‘ill’.
I always feel guilty taking a day off, but I’ve worked through all my illness this year, even when I’ve been dead on my feet (especially through our inspection when I could happily have fainted away I felt so awful) and I just can’t shake them off because I never stop and rest. Today was bliss, I took my little look girl to the park, painted with her and read her stories.

To the PP who is saying that teachers don’t get a break, even in the holidays, I would agree, however I still love it, and during the pandemic when we moved and I didn’t have a job for three months, I was miserable. I hated being a SAHM!

mibbelucieachwell · 23/11/2021 19:07

Have you considered being a foster carer? There's a shortage. You'd be working from home obviously.

HarrisMcCoo · 24/11/2021 11:26

My son is in a class where the primary school teacher has an unruly pupil disrupting the class. All class pupils have to leave the classroom if unruly pupil decides he doesn't want to leave. It's ridiculous. They have enough to deal with as mentioned above.

Nice to hear from a teacher who paints the realities of the job.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 24/11/2021 12:42

@HarrisMcCoo

Wtf?
Where do they all go?
A school pandering like this, is surely a school not in control?

OhMaria · 24/11/2021 12:55

Don't become a primary school teacher if you want to spend any time with your family. It's a shame the tes forums are gone or you could've read all about the horrors of it all.
Also large schools with loads of staff are much better, I've taught in a small village school and it was insular and terrible

HarrisMcCoo · 24/11/2021 14:02

[quote Oftenithinkaboutit]@HarrisMcCoo

Wtf?
Where do they all go?
A school pandering like this, is surely a school not in control?[/quote]
Well, the kids go out into the corridor area, until said child calms down. I am not happy hearing about this from DS, really.

Very disruptive to a teacher who wants to teach children willing to learn each day. DS's previous teacher had two unruly children in her class, couldn't cope, so one got moved to the other class.

I love the idea of teaching but not to put up with children like that. No way.

GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 24/11/2021 14:03

I live semi rurally and live it. Our local primary school is lovely 😊

OhMaria · 24/11/2021 14:54

This isn't even uncommon. Then you get into trouble when the children don't make expected progress because you can't get anything done.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 24/11/2021 14:55

@HarrisMcCoo

The wasted teaching time, appalling

Presumably you’ve (and others) have spoken with the school re how alternative solution needs to be found. And soon. As In- immediately