I want to live in a rural village and be a primary school teacher

[MrsCremuel]

Or something of that ilk? I have a DH, baby and toddler and want to overhaul our lives. I’ve never really done anything drastic in life, mainly because family (parents etc) circs but I’ve always hankered after a different sort of life.

I hate the southeast. So busy and over priced. I desperately want to live somewhere rural. DH could take redundancy, sell a flat he owns and we could live mortgage free. I’m planning on retraining anyway so could get a job so could do anywhere. We recently had 6 weeks off together with the new baby and it was bliss. After wfh stops DH will be back to being out of the house from 7.30-7.30 4 days a week with one day wfh. I don’t want to go back to that, it’s been so good for our toddler and me to have him around more!

Anyone done something drastic to overhaul their lives? Am I being a whimsical fool?

Teaching is HARD, in fact I would go as far as saying it can be brutal. The training is hard and the first 2/3 years are like an endurance test.

And you have a young family. So balancing that with teaching sounds rough to me.

But- what about something else like a speech therapist, a physio, a counsellor?

What’s your degree in?

We live in the SW on the edge of a large village, I drive 15 mins to my workplace. I drive my youngest to school. Eldest can walk.
We have to drive a lot but I don’t mind that. Our kids are very sporty so I spend 3 nights a week driving 1 hour round trip for dds activity. Dh does the same for son at a different place.
We love our vibrant village life and are lucky to have a large home with a big garden. But it takes work. I work part time and dh full time. Dh works long hours and travels alot for work (worldwide) but I work in education and only 25 hours so it works for us.
We have a big group of friends lots who grew up here, moved away and returned to bring up families.
We live in a very pretty place with lots of nature al around. We kayak and walk, and wild swim and enjoy lots of stuff like that. We are about and 1 hour from a city.

I would never move.

I grew up in a proper, chocolate box-pretty rural village and attended a quaint old red brick schoolhouse. The headteacher was very progressive, lots of guitar playing and singalongs etc. He was clearly in his dream job and put a lot of work into it. Still didn't stop him getting absolutely shafted by Ofsted and then having a breakdown. This was over 20 years ago so I hate to think what the job's like now.

The countryside lifts my soul and DHs, we feel so happy there rather than a albeit lovely SE town.

This is exactly what I meant by Rose tinted glasses. The country side is a novelty which is probably why you find it uplifting because you're only ever in it when you're on a break away frim the daily grind. Day to day the countryside and rural living is unlikely to be as idyllic as you're imagining.

More family time in the week. DH has a very specific set of skills in a dying industry so will likely need to reinvent himself in the next 10 years anyway.

Surely it would be easier opportunity wise for him to reinvent himself in a larger town or city than somewhere rural?

I crave community.

So did my family when they moved us to the countryside as kids. The reality was we found to suffocating and I hated the feeling that everyone knew each others business. You can have community anywhere as long as you're open to making friends and being part of where you live.

I crave community.

I know people who were isolated and miserable when they lived in a small rural village. I'm sure some have a great community, but I think a lot of people idealise living in rural areas. It's not always a lovely welcoming environment.

You’ll regret being in a rural village once your children are older. There’ll be nothing for them to do.

That very much depends on how rural you are and the public transport links.

We live rurally (about 3 miles from nearest town) and yes, you do need to 'plan' more but it's definitely doable for us. I have a 17 and a 15 year old and they love it here.

Care in the community type job might suit?

I was just about to write the same thing 😂

Just as a counter to some of the negativity re rural living and teenagers. Not all rural teenagers are depressed and bored. We live rurally and of course teenagers complain occasionally, it's part of the job description. But they still do normal things like hang out with friends, go to the cinema, go shopping etc. Mine have also grown up with a fantastic outdoor lifestyle and appreciate fresh air and nature. Not all teenagers want wall to wall stimulation and city life. Just saying.

As a caveat you do have to drive them quite regularly but they can and do get the bus too - just takes a bit more planning.

I grew up in a village and now live in London. I'd never go back to village life.

I stayed with my parents recently with my two kids (4 and 2) and we spent so long in the car. I really missed the ability here to just walk to shops, cafes, parks, school etc.

I crave community.

That's funny. I crave the anonymity of a big city!!!

I live in a small town, do volunteering in a village, in a region where "Everyone knows everyone."

People gossip about you. People assume you know everyone they know & are beffuddled when they say "Barry's mum" and you don't know who that is. If you fall out with X, sure enough X will be (unknown to you) auntie to Y who is in your child's class and therefore Y falls out with your DC.

You could try one of those "Live on a remote Scottish island as a crofter or lighthouse maintenance person in a community of 200 people" live-in jobs.

Don't feel disheartened, it's not a wild dream, it's all possible. We love living in a rural village, I feel more connected to the community than I did living in towns. We don't have light pollution and last night the moon shone so bright it was magical. There is so much for children to gain from nature and fresh air, though you do need a good torch to walk back from the pub at night! The main downsides are no public transport, deliveroo or Uber! Upsides are that really nice homes can be much cheaper.

@MrsCremuel do it! We’ve just sold our house, spent three months on the coast in one country, booked a couple of months in the Peak District and then will be off to France for a while. Life is too short and time with those you love too precious. We lost a youngish family member to Covid and it’s made us completely reevaluate our lives and we’ve never been happier. You can always make more money to buy more stuff but you can’t make more time!

@Suprima

Before you answer, I would see if you actually like the job in an urban area for a bit.

Rural schools often don’t have posts, unless someone retires or dies. They also might not have the infrastructure to support ECTs.

I also, and I apologise to my rural colleagues (I know it’s not all schools), believe that if you acquired a post- they might not be the most dynamic place to start your career. I have colleagues who have moved to tiny schools in Cornwall who can’t believe that an out of date SLT advise them to use worksheets from Twinkl (a generic resource website) and lazy ‘make a poster!’ type activities for foundation subjects. No thought to curriculum design- do what you want. If you are an experienced teacher, you’ll be able to craft lessons that are low workload for you, but with brilliant outcomes for the kids. If you start work in a place with low expectations, you would have a huge shock if things were overhauled or you move locations.

Again, not all rural schools- but I think the city is the best place to train.

Appalling generalisation.

I live quite rurally and one of my school mum friends is training to be a teacher. She’s on some sort of placement an hour away at the moment. I don’t know how it all works, but it sounds like you can be sent miles away for training. Also, you aren’t guaranteed vacancies in local village when you are qualified.

Small rural village sounds idyllic but it can be tough. Small towns tend to be a nice compromise. I live about an hour by train to London, yet it feels quite out of the way, we have a nice community, lots of parent clubs and town events etc. Of course, there are downsides. Rural crime, feeling a bit cut off at times, not a great deal of facilities like gyms or cultural things going on.

If you’re determined to live rurally long term, you and DH should consider retraining in jobs that are mostly remote. You can get a bit more work life balance, as no commute, and you have fewer worries about finding a job in the middle of nowhere.

Research research research.
Honestly there is nothing wrong with your dream at all. We have left the city and moved to middle of nowhere in Aberdeenshire. Well worth it. Completely different life. It’s taken a year to make the move with a stop in rental in between but it was another year before that making the decision.
Don’t rush but also don’t be put off by negative comments.

Yes it's funny when people talk about deliveroo and uber. Having lived very rurally for 20 years I don't miss these because I've never had them. I can't really imagine being able to get meals delivered as it's never been an option here. Even if we want a takeaway it's a 30 minute round trip to collect it so we rarely bother. But it doesn't feel like a hardship. We go out for a meal occasionally but it honestly doesn't bother us. Our waistlines and bank balance are probably healthier for it too

If you love the work you do with the samaritans, what about counselling?

Don't be put off with all the comments about teaching, I understand you were floating the idea and maybe use that as a launching off point for a discussion.
Hopefully the thread will move on from that.
I think you can ask for your thread title to be changed if you want.

@Bunce1 honestly that sounds amazing

@Sundance5 thank you . The current set up isn’t working for us so we need something else. It sounds lovely where you are.

@Athomewiththehales89 you are my inspiration! Honestly this is how I feel. I’d rather have less stuff and more time with the family.

Totally understand everyone’s comments in rural and thank you for a reality check. I think a village outside the SE connected to a town/city would work. I don’t like the vibe of the SE, never have really. Happy to drive places and yes, I would miss cafes and shops so village near city or town might be an idea.

I

a speech therapist I beg your pardon?

I'm not saying you need to move all the up here, but I live in a town on the coast just outside Newcastle.
Well connected but with a lovely community feel. And just big enough to not be totally incestuous and can still be pretty anonymous.

Worth considering there's rural and rural.

Rural where you have to plan your visit to the supermarket because it's a 40 minute drive might be charming, but could also be an absolute pain.

Rural where you're ten minutes from the supermarket and 15 from the city centre, much less so.

Obviously, real country types will say the second one isn't really rural, but it might suit you. Where we are, we're surrounded by countryside and beautiful walks, and everyone knows everyone, but it's actually not difficult to nip to the shops.

@OhMyCrump

I'm not saying you need to move all the up here, but I live in a town on the coast just outside Newcastle. Well connected but with a lovely community feel. And just big enough to not be totally incestuous and can still be pretty anonymous.

Sorry, forgot to finish my post!! So how about trying to find something like that?

Have you been reading the Miss Read books?

It's not crazy to consider a move to a quieter area where you could have a better work-life balance. And although the Mumsnet consensus is that teaching is a brutally hard job, I have friends who are teachers, and this is not their reality at all. Certainly they work hard, and 30 kids all day is not something I could cope with, but they are fully on top of their jobs, and don't work excessively long hours.

But...do you WANT to be a teacher? And what will your husband do? Presumably not take redundancy and then never work again. I agree that remote work for both of you is your best bet, although it may not fit in with your village daydream.

Hmmmm

I went to a tiny very rural primary school (2 year groups per class) in the 90s, quite a few of the teachers had problems with alcohol & seemed to hate kids

I was a primary school teacher in a village for a few years.
Pluses were that you knew the children and their families very well, you were part of the community in a lovely area. Fresh air and space.
Minuses were that everyone in the village knew you, your business and the privacy levels were minimum for everyone in the family. Some parents felt you were available 24/7.
I was responsible for my class, Science, DT, Humanities, Arts and Crafts, Environmental education and random stuff. Tiny staff meant no breathing space if there were clashes of any sort.