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Original poster

I had to do cpr on someone today :(

117 replies

LandCleve · 19/11/2021 20:41

I won’t give too many details but it’s left me feeling really sad and I just wanted to write it down :(.

I was pretty sure the person had gone by the time I found them - I was on the phone to the person’s adult child as I discovered them so had to break the news. And then as I was doing cpr I could hear bones breaking :(.

Next week would’ve been my late dh’s birthday so my emotions are a bit raw anyway, and today hasn’t helped.

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 19/11/2021 20:42

Thank sounds awful. I’m so sorry.

Solasum · 19/11/2021 20:43

Well done for doing it. A horrible experience, but you can be proud that you did everything you could

suckingonchillidogs · 19/11/2021 20:44

What an amazing thing to do though, well done - I'm sure you did all you could Thanks

Sparkletastic · 19/11/2021 20:44

You did the right thing to try and you should feel proud of yourself. Treat yourself gently this weekend.

Pinkspecs · 19/11/2021 20:45

What a horrible experience for you.
Well done for doing it though.Flowers
You should be proud of yourself.

NiceTwin · 19/11/2021 20:45

Well done on giving it a go, although there are many people that would, there are as many again who would walk on by.
I am sure their children will be very grateful for your efforts, even if it was futile Sad

Mummytotwonow · 19/11/2021 20:45

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You done your best and that is what you have to keep reminding yourself. Take care of yourself and I hope you have loved ones to support you as it must have been really distressing x

HelloCanYouHearMe · 19/11/2021 20:47
Flowers

Im sorry OP.

I was in this situation once - at a party of all places. The person in question had an undiagnosed heart defect. They were on the dancefloor and just hit the deck.

At first we all thought that they had fallen.... but they didnt get up and we went from there.

I dont know if it will help or how true it is, but ive been told that if you can hear/feel ribs breaking then you are doing CPR correctly (whatever that means)

Original poster
LandCleve · 19/11/2021 20:49

Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate them.

OP posts:
BobbieT1999 · 19/11/2021 20:50

@HelloCanYouHearMe Is right, it's quite normal to for the ribs to break during cpr. Horrible though.

I'm sorry, op, you did the right thing. Flowers

checkedroses · 19/11/2021 20:51

I’m a dr so have done it lots in my time in a controlled environment but the one time I’ve done it on my own with no equipment etc left me really shaken up for days. You did a brilliant thing, CPR especially in older people does cause ribs breaking and it’s a horrible feeling. Well done and take it easy for a few days Flowers

PigeonPigPie · 19/11/2021 20:51

I'm so sorry you were in this situation but well done for giving them a chance by doing what you could. It really isn't a nice experience but you should be proud of what you did for them.

Wombat46 · 19/11/2021 20:52

And even if you'd got there the instant they collapsed, it's only a few people that survive. Every minute is vital but it's often already too late.

You did your best, be proud of yourself.

ShirleyPhallus · 19/11/2021 20:52

I’m so sorry OP. You did the best you could and gave them the best chance. Have you got some RL support?

ohfourfoxache · 19/11/2021 20:52

You are absolutely incredible, huge well done. Loads of people wouldn’t have been able to do what you did

You gave the person the best possible chance. I’m so sorry you feel so crap

Cheshirewife · 19/11/2021 20:54

Absolutely well done. You clearly gave them the best chance and that’s all anyone can ask for.

mommybear1 · 19/11/2021 20:55

You are amazing - regardless of the outcome the comfort you have given to that family is indescribable- thank you 💐

Twospaniels · 19/11/2021 20:56

I’m sorry you had to do this and sorry the person died.

I was going to ask why bones were breaking, but have read the replies further up. I never knew ribs would break while doing CPR.

💐

RandomMess · 19/11/2021 20:57
Thanks

Such a tough day.

TwoPaperAirplanes · 19/11/2021 20:57

OP this is so close to home atm and I just want to say thank you. You gave that person a chance. It might not have had the outcome you wanted but they had a chance because of you.

Sending you huge unmumsnetty hugs Thanks

ChatterMonkey · 19/11/2021 20:58

Myself and do were in a similar situation, and if im honest are both struggling with it nearly a year on.

It was dp's mum that we found, i think she had already passed, but 999 directed dp to do cpr. While doing it there was a horrific gurgling bubbling noise coming from the chest/mouth which still haunts me. No idea what that was as cant find a reason for what this noise would have been?

But dp is haunted by the worry that he did something wrong which is why it didnt work, or even worse, that something he did killed her. Not rational thought but in the circumstance its hard to tell your brain to be rational.

To be honest, our experience of it would put me off doing cpr in the future which is a shame, but have found it so traumatising that i dont think i could do it again.

Sending my love to you op and hope you are doing ok.

altforvarmt · 19/11/2021 20:59

You did everything you could and I think that will bring comfort to the person's child; they won't hold lingering thoughts about their parent dying alone and how things might have been different if they'd been found.

tintodeverano2 · 19/11/2021 21:00

It's one of the hardest things I've ever seen. My dad had to do it on my mum. It was heartbreaking for me to see it. Don't know how he actually did it.

You tried. That's the best thing that you could do. Please don't punish yourself. You did an amazing thing. Be kind to yourself.

claymodels · 19/11/2021 21:02

https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/support/support-if-youve-given-cpr

Have a look at the BHF site here, there is some advice further down the page for people who have given cpr.

Thank you for doing this Thanks

Dogshark · 19/11/2021 21:03

I just want to say that if it was my parent I’d be so grateful for you for trying. I can’t comprehend the effect this will be having on you, but you are an extremely courageous and caring person to have put yourself through this. I hope that somewhere down the line you will come to realise this.

A big unmumsnetty hug x

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