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Original poster

I had to do cpr on someone today :(

117 replies

LandCleve · 19/11/2021 20:41

I won’t give too many details but it’s left me feeling really sad and I just wanted to write it down :(.

I was pretty sure the person had gone by the time I found them - I was on the phone to the person’s adult child as I discovered them so had to break the news. And then as I was doing cpr I could hear bones breaking :(.

Next week would’ve been my late dh’s birthday so my emotions are a bit raw anyway, and today hasn’t helped.

OP posts:
UhOhOops · 19/11/2021 21:04

Oh love, well done and thankyou for attempting to give the gift of life.

In a medical/hospital environment cpr alone has a shockingly low success rate, even with trained staff, to have begun it with no other means of support must have been a huge challenge.

Take comfort in the action that you took. The feeling of inflicting further damage is incredibly unsettling, it's very hard to forget that.

Original poster
LandCleve · 19/11/2021 21:06

You are all so kind and understanding, I really do thank you.

@ChatterMonkey I’m so sorry you’ve been left feeling so traumatised, it must have been terrible hearing those noises.

I know it’s very selfish of me to think of my own distress when a family have just lost a loved one but I keep hearing the noise of bones going :(.

OP posts:
Stopsnowing · 19/11/2021 21:09

The fact that you tried will mean everything to the family.

Stopsnowing · 19/11/2021 21:10

E m d r can be helpful for post traumatic stress disorder.

A580Hojas · 19/11/2021 21:11

You did a wonderful thing in trying OP.

My very dear friend was, against all the odds, resuscitated by cpr at the roadside having suffered cardiac arrest on his bike. He knows how amazingly lucky he is and how lucky he was to have someone nearby who did their best for him.

My dh works with the man who resuscitated Glen Hoddle in the TV studio. I think the general public have no idea how low the "success" rates are.

So sorry you are traumatised.

Camembear · 19/11/2021 21:12

Well done for giving them a shot op. If it was my relative I’d be thankful that you tried.

Aubree17 · 19/11/2021 21:12

Well done, your very brave 💐

Be proud you tried. I think in the long run you would feel worse if you hadn't.

Worried234 · 19/11/2021 21:13

Oh God, that sounds super hard. I hope you're ok.

I once had to do CPR on someone who collapsed at my gym. It's quite traumatic.

Be kind to yourself Flowers

ablutiions · 19/11/2021 21:14

I did cpr a few years back on a man who had collapsed in the loos at the supermarket.

At the time it was autopilot , but afterwards I thought about it a lot. He lasted long enough to get to hospital for stents but had another heart attack and died. It was so sad, but I had to think that I gave him the best shot of survival, and talked to him throughout (though panting a lot as cpr is very physical).

Best advice I can give is to talk about it and get your feelings out. Think about the person too, and that you gave them help when they needed it most. That's the very best you can give another person, you should be proud.

It's been a few years now and I still think about him every now and then.

Well done OP, seriously.

Sebastianthecoo · 19/11/2021 21:16

Well done for doing something so brave. You will be physically exhausted too as well as mentally. Be kind to yourself and know that you did your best. What you heard was normal and not something you did wrong. Take care.

TheMadGardener · 19/11/2021 21:17

Thank you for trying to help and not just walking away or panicking.

I've been first aid qualified for most of my adult life and taught children/teens how to do CPR. I really hope that if one day they ever have to use those skills I'll have contributed a bit by teaching them.

My DSis is a paramedic and when they get to a cardiac arrest quite often the 999 operator has tried to coach someone through CPR over the phone. Many people will have a go but others will just cry and say "oh, I can't". Which is bad luck for the person who's in cardiac arrest...

shreddednips · 19/11/2021 21:17

Oh OP, I'm so sorry you had that experience. You were so brave to do what you did and give them the best chance of surviving. Please take care of yourself Thanks

ohfourfoxache · 19/11/2021 21:20

The last thing anyone could call you is selfish x

Dancingbugbadge · 19/11/2021 21:20

That sounds really awful. You did an amazing thing though by trying CPR, not everyone would and the bones breaking is normal. You did everything you could for that individual and you should be proud of that. Unfortunately CPR does not solve all issues. Be kind to yourself tonight.

TheVanguardSix · 19/11/2021 21:20

I had CPR performed on me. I embraced the pain of my fractured ribs, OP. It was life-affirming. Smile
Someone might say, "What a horrible experience," and I can understand how traumatic it is. I really hope you don't feel that it was horrible though. From someone who is alive because time and a kind soul were both on my side, I can say, what a beautiful ending to this person's life. They may have been gone, but they left this world in the hands of somebody giving, somebody loving, someone who cared. They were gone, but not alone. You're a wonderful soul, OP.

Emanchego · 19/11/2021 21:23

Many people will have a go but others will just cry and say "oh, I can't"

Fuck me that's poor.

exitlight · 19/11/2021 21:25

You did a good thing Flowers

Clevs · 19/11/2021 21:26

I've been a paramedic for 21 years and even now the feeling of ribs breaking isn't pleasant.

Well done for having a go though. Bystander CPR is really important and gives people the best chance. I've been to hundreds of cardiac arrests but to my knowledge only three of them have resulted in the patient going home from hospital.

EvenRosesHaveThorns · 19/11/2021 21:26

What a horrible shock. But you stepped up to the plate in that small timeframe you had to react and you should be proud of yourself for acting. There is always hope. I expect you'll be getting lots of flashbacks and sleep troubles for at least a few days (seen a stranger suicide myself), so just take it easy, talk to people, talk online, take your feelings seriously and treat them and don't bottle it up x

saltontoast · 19/11/2021 21:26

This is one of my fears. I hope you're ok OP Thanks

MrsFoxyplease · 19/11/2021 21:26

You did your very best and you are very brave. A lot of people couldn't have done what you did.
Sadly it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes these things are out of our hands.Flowers

ChatterMonkey · 19/11/2021 21:27

@emanchego i dont think its fair to say that its poor to not be able to do it.

A persons reaction when suddenly faced with a traumatic situation may not always be the 'best' or the 'right' one but i dont its fair to make any sort of negative judgment on this to anyone that may have had that reaction and is reading this thread.

DontKeepTheFaith · 19/11/2021 21:28

You have been through an awfully traumatic experience, please don’t underestimate the impact this will have on you.

You did an incredible and very difficult thing and you should take comfort in the fact you did everything possible. It is normal to be affected and you may need some support in the coming days, weeks, months….

I’m an RMN and I am still haunted by having to do CPR on a patient following a suicide attempt many years ago now. It doesn’t leave you, we are human and it is an upsetting experience.

My experience was in a professional capacity and I am trained to do it ILS but it’s still not easy and for lots of reasons, it is something I still think about.

Original poster
LandCleve · 19/11/2021 21:28

You have all made me cry, you’re so kind.

@TheVanguardSix I’m sorry you went through that, but your positive take on it is incredible.

I will say I am glad it was me who found them - they were sometimes tricky to deal with but, although I’d only met them twice before today, we seemed to hit it off :(.

OP posts:
GoGoGretaDoll · 19/11/2021 21:28

Sweetheart, you're probably in shock - you've had a horrible experience.

Is someone with you? Can you put on a daft movie and grab a hot water bottle, cup of tea and something sweet?

You did absolutely amazingly well and should be so proud of yourself.