I had to do cpr on someone today :(

[LandCleve]

I won’t give too many details but it’s left me feeling really sad and I just wanted to write it down :(.

I was pretty sure the person had gone by the time I found them - I was on the phone to the person’s adult child as I discovered them so had to break the news. And then as I was doing cpr I could hear bones breaking :(.

Next week would’ve been my late dh’s birthday so my emotions are a bit raw anyway, and today hasn’t helped.

I'm so sorry OP.

I had to give my DH CPR and it was the worst thing I have ever, ever been through. It still haunts me. Feeling and hearing his ribs break is something I'll never get over.

For all those who have done CPR on this thread and feel guilty that it wasn't successful - CPR hardly ever is outside of a clinical setting. Even in a clinical setting it's more likely to not work than it is to work. TV and movies give us false ideas about how effective it is.

Well done on trying. It's not an easy thing to do. I had to do it on a family member and even now, years down the line, just thinking still reduces me to tears. I didn't get any councilling as I couldn't find any specific, only for NHS workers. Things looked to have changed reading this thread. I definitely advise you to get some. Also, take time to reflect on the caring act you did for this person in their last moments, work through it and don't bottle it up (like I had to to save other family members grief.)
Be prepared to ache too. But most of all, be kind to yourself and do not blame yourself, you tried.

@peachgreen and everyone else who's brave,y done CPR to each and every one of you

You did an amazing thing. I’m so grateful for people like you. Not the same but my DS was out celebrating it was cold and raining he was pissed as a newt one night fell over on a dark common whilst walking home alone after 2am. Thankfully a stranger saw this and called 999, I got a call from a paramedic and they told me someone had called and stayed with him until he’d arrived. God knows what could have happened. To all those that stay and talk and help a massive thank you

It didn't hit me when I did it until a while later. I was meant to be food shopping but decided to buy foundation instead and went into town
Got a coffee and then went into a shop that I never ever go in to see someone on the floor
Everyone was stood around him, they were on the phone to 999 but nobody was doing anything

At the time I was an ambulance call handler and as I walked over he changed colour and stopped breathing. Did CPR for maybe 10 mins, the crew arrived (and said "er nobody is usually doing anything when we get here, can you carry on?") I carried on compressions, and the paramedic said "stop - he has a pulse"
Nearly fell over hearing that. I had body fluids all over me, blood/vomit etc and he was conscious as they took him into hospital. Don't know what the diagnosis was but I found out from a paramedic he recovered and was discharged

Afterwards I was stood in the car park with my free coffee they got me (mine went cold!) going WTAF just happened. I remember staring at his lanyard the whole time doing compressions and afterwards I couldn't have told you what it said

Thank you for further comments.

I keep remembering little details and I keep hearing bones breaking :(. I’m wondering if they knew they were going to die as they were lying flat on their back with their arms crossed over their chest :(.

@LandCleve You did a wonderful thing. It's not just the cpr, though, your compassion for the person comes through with your comments about saying goodbye, etc. Their children couldn't be there, but they'll be glad that there was some present who cared.

There's some good advice on here from people who know what it's like, and take care of yourself, you deserve it.

I know how to do cpr, but have never yet been in a position where I needed to perform it. I hope I can do as well as you if I ever get called on to help.

Hi OP, I performed CPR on a neighbour. Like many are saying there were other people there, but no one was acting. I had DC with me as we were leaving the house for school!

I don't think anything prepares you for the sound of ribs breaking. I had no idea that happened, I made a comment about bible wrap popping and the dispatcher said "that's the ribs, you're doing it right". I could hear the sirens approaching, but it was the longest 10 minutes ever and ultimately futile.

I'd do it again without thinking though. DC thought I was marvellous, bless them.

OP I posted earlier (nc) about the success rate of cpr even in a hospital setting, and to thank you for trying.

A friend of mine is a lead on the cpr training for schools, and I've accompanied her a few times. I don't recall the children being told that their actions may not work, and the impact this could have - the certificate my ds received was lots of bells and whistles but he was super confident when he came home from school the day they did it.

The only child I've ever heard of who attempted cpr was trained as a St John cadet, and fortunately she managed to keep her mum going until the ambulance arrived and paramedics with their expertise, equipment and medication could take over.

Your post has made me really think about the impact on 11 year olds that attempting cpr would have, and the chances that it would likely be in the home, on a parent/carer, without other adults around to step in.

A real sobering thought.

That is certainly food for thought @Fuuuuuckit. Performing cpr in your own home and on a loved one would be such a traumatic experience for anyone, let alone a child.

I don’t know what cpr training for children involves but a realistic expectation of the whole process could be a good thing if it could be done without distressing them too much. I had no idea that breaking bones was a good thing, and I as an adult, found the noise and sensation of that happening very distressing. If I also found it very difficult to get the person onto the floor. And of course the whole process is very tiring.

Yes, it's very tiring indeed. Clinicians take turns doing it for short periods only.
If you can't get the casualty on the floor, just leave them where they are, turn them onto their back and do the best you can.
Carrying out CPR unaided until assistance arrives is nothing short of heroic.

Awwww bless. Be kind to yourself.

I did CPR on someone I also know was dead when I found them for 40 minutes until an ambulance arrived.

It's so hard for people to understand how you feel bad you couldn't save them despite knowing you couldn't save them iyswim?

I then had to sit with the body for 3 hours whilst I waited for police and coroner to turn up.

Then I had to tell his wife who had no idea the whole time anything was wrong.

What's important to remember is you were the person who have them a chance - however unlikely. You didn't give up. You did what you could.

Oh lovely, I really, really feel for you. Broken bones mean that you were doing right. You need to talk this out, have you a friend? Talk it over, then again, Then some more, it helps you deal with it.

Be kind to yourself x

You cared enough to do everything possible for that person. Their adult child knows how much you about their parent in that moment. And, it may well be that the person knew you were trying too, and that they knew you cared. You can not do anything better than that. You are amazing for trying OP

I so, so agree @Fuuuuuckit. I am a bit of an evangelist about telling people how rarely CPR works nowadays because I beat myself up so much and for so long after my husband died as I felt like it must have been my fault, I must have just done it wrong etc etc. When I found out how rarely CPR is successful it was as if a huge weight had been lifted from me. Of course I'm glad I tried and I always, always would (although I pray I never have to do it again, it's the most traumatising experience of my life) but I wish I had known immediately that the chances of saving him were so small and it's not my fault that it didn't work.

It's good you tried. As a young medical student I remember being told you'll pretty much always break the ribs of an elderly person if doing cpr correctly and that it's better to be alive with broken ribs than dead with intact ribs because you didn't really try properly. I can empathise with you. I remember that horrible feeling of a broken rib scratching my hand when i first did cpr. But you were their only chance and you tried. That's amazing.

You were very brave to try. My DH miraculously survived a cardiac arrest outside hospital due to people doing exactly the same as you - the difference being that they were actually with him as he collapsed so he had the best chance. He's now back to work a very busy hospital manager.
Be kind to yourself and know you did the best you could, many people might not have even tried.