Feeling sad living in London

[halloweenie13]

I've been in London about a year now, and I'm still not feeling connected or settled. I just feel abit lost. I've tried everything to make friends bumble, meet up groups, Facebook groups and yet I have a number of casual friends I could count on one hand. Everything is ridiculously expensive and people are just quite hostile in general, never saying please or thankyou, shoving past you in supermarkets and in public spaces. It sound silly but the other night I cried looking at the moon because it was the first time I had seen it in 3 months (where I'm from up north we have big open spaces,see the moon every night and have a community feeling). I've been trying to hint to my family I'm miserable down here and I don't think they're taking me seriously, they just think "oh wow you have everything on your doorstep" my rent contract is up in spring so in theory I don't have long but I wish it was much sooner, has anyone else ever felt like this?

I grew up in Ireland and I can say with confidence that people in London are not "hostile and spiteful". I love it here!

Honestly OP, it is just time to leave - you don't need any other reason than not liking it. And when you are starting to believe that an entire city is spiteful and hostile, it is very much time to move somewhere you are surrounded by friends and family.

Sorry OP but you are being ridiculous and catastrophising

Muggings are a rare occurrence, and even the worst parts of London for crime have a lower rate than some parts of Manchester

Many PPs, myself included, have given examples of the brilliant community spirit in lots of parts of London

But the truth of it is you’ve picked a stupid area to live in for your stage of life and won’t take responsibility for it so instead want to blame MILLIONS of people having the wrong attitude

And if you’re as snippy in person as you’re being on this thread, that might also answer a few questions about how friendly and accommodating you find other people

I've lived in London for my whole adult life. Never been mugged and neither has anyone I know. Our neighbourhood is friendly, we have a whatsapp group for our road, loads of friends and we are busy every weekend. People in the shops are chatty and when we walk in the local woods people say 'morning' just like they do when we visit the country. 😂

So, your claim that everyone is rude and muggings are going on everywhere is untrue. But, I suspect you're making these claims because you are unhappy and looking to blame. Brent and Tottenham aren't the best areas for a single 20 something. So maybe move, or just leave London because perhaps it's not for you. My Dsis would hate living in London , wherever it was. I'd hate living in the countryside where she lives. Horses for courses. No need to be talking crap about where other people choose to love though.

Am Londoner family are Londoners. We not spiteful. Londoners traditionally friendly. I experienced spiteful unwelcome attitude in the north when in refuge. Not the other women staying there and not everyone and was some very kind ones but was some including the manager like original poster.

Other stuff though what origin poster says is true. Is very bad in London for vulnerable. Is very bad for support. Is very bad for disabled cos not allowed safe home. Is very bad for domestic violence cos bad support and is borough postcode lottery for help and some are closed waiting lists. In north, there was adult safeguarding and support for domestic violence and for disabled. In London no adult safeguarding cos they ignore referrals they don't care even if risk of murder. No empathy they are cold and hard and nasty. Their solution to risk of murder to violence and rape is to be homeless instead. They say if homeless then no longer risk from abuser but then you at risk from other violent people and is also worse than death being homeless but they don't care in London.

Is true what she says about very bad housing not safe dangerous bad places. London is cruel hard place if you not in good situation. Maybe original poster tried London mental health help. Is none. In north, crisis team come out to see you and are kind. In London you lucky if they answer phone and if they do is aggressive sounding nurse saying what do you want me me to do. London is bad place if you vulnerable but is cos no one cares about Londoners. Is not Londoners who are bad. Is people not helping us or caring about vulnerable in London that is the problem.

@Animood

Move somewhere else.

London isn't the be all and end all and life's too short to feel unhappy.

Absolutely. London can be heart scaldingly lonely when you’re on your own. It’s not a failure to leave. And Sheffield is lovely. Fab shops and friendly folk.

London can chew you up and spit you out, it's true.

Though your assertion that we're all spiteful and hostile could really piss me off I'm going to prove you wrong by saying you're obviously not feeling ok within yourself or you would never ascribe 2 mean adjectives to 14million people (or whatever the number is). I'm afraid it's you.

But it's ok and it's not uncommon, you just need to go home. You can always try again later when the circumstances are better, if you want to.

I live in London and love it. If I didn't I'd move. I honestly think that you are over thinking this.

@SW1amp

Sorry OP but you are being ridiculous and catastrophising

Muggings are a rare occurrence, and even the worst parts of London for crime have a lower rate than some parts of Manchester

Many PPs, myself included, have given examples of the brilliant community spirit in lots of parts of London

But the truth of it is you’ve picked a stupid area to live in for your stage of life and won’t take responsibility for it so instead want to blame MILLIONS of people having the wrong attitude

And if you’re as snippy in person as you’re being on this thread, that might also answer a few questions about how friendly and accommodating you find other people

Yes I agree with this

It's simply not true that all 10 million people in London are rude and spiteful. If you are seeing things in such all or nothing terms, it's probably time to go.

OP I can understand how annoying it is when you post here about how much you hate London and all you get here is 99% of people saying ' I love it, you're just doing it wrong' or 'why don't you just do X,Y, Z and you'll love it'? You just wanted people who can commiserate, and reassure you that you're not wrong to hate London when everyone else looooves it. And your family thinks it's great!

However that's no excuse to be rude to posters and pp were only trying to be helpful.

Honestly you're only going to get more London defenders on this thread so it's of no use. I suggest you stop following it, focus on what you want to do and do it. You can always move back.

U.K. nobody said every single Londoner is unfriendly. That would be stupid, I'd be calling myself unfriendly then.

Out of 10 million there will be lots of friendly and interesting people and also many who aren't. It's generally agreed that cities are faster paced and people come across as hostile or unfriendly. It's not like a small town or suburbs where people say hi and chat to you.

Most people are alright when you get to know them. But London can seem unwelcoming especially if you don't know many people. Or if you're on a packed train and getting pushed and shoved, or pregnant and everyone pretends they can't see you so they don't have to get up.

In other words: common sense. Obviously not everyone's a dick. It's just typical cold, self-absorbed city life