Relentless demands for money at primary school

[WildWombat]

DS hasn't started school yet, but so many of my friends with older kids have been telling me about this. Expect constant requests for contributions to this, that or the other. Non uniform days, bake sales, charity events etc etc. Normally money but also costumes/dress up, or things to donate for selling. Has anyone come up with a good way of managing all these requests? Do you give something every time it's asked for, or do you just select a few and not bother with the others? It sounds like a minefield and when DS starts reception I want to go in feeling prepared to start as I mean to go on, so any advice v welcome!

Lots of parents don’t participate/ I think it’s important to participate where one can, these things raise money for the school: learning subscriptions, trips etc.
It does hit you though that school is not a place you send your kid off from 9-3 and they come home knowing everything. There’s a lot of parent participation from the learning to the social side.

Oh and our school is cashless so everything is on parent pay, and there’s a school app for updates. It’s not hunting a letter at the bottom of a book bag and rummaging for a £1

@Sparklespangle

Today I spend 66pounds on young voices, 18pounds on school photos and 50pounds in school dinners. I can't afford it, I will have to find the money from somewhere. It is relentless.

I ditched school photos last year when they couldn’t do sibling photos because of covid (the most illogical rule ever) and to get the separate photos was going to cost £45 for a single photo of each of them. Sod that.

We had bake sales once a month and each year group took a turn running it, so you did it twice a year. If we had time at pick up I got DD a cupcake or similar for £0.50/£1, it basically replaced the. snack I would give her anyway.

Raffles were only done for the Summer fair, once a year and while obviously the PTA wanted everyone to donate. something I do know that not all of the parents did.

Charity evens - noone can force you. We had a bucket in the playground where you. just dropped your coin in (or. not). As DD was dropped off by a childminder it depended if DD remembered that she needed to do it.

Dress up - I found that this is the thing I didn't want DD to miss. I normally tried to get something second hand, borrowed from a friend and especially for book day tried to steer DD to a book which matched an outfit easy to do or we already have. And we had odd themes like Stone Age.

The PTA publishes what they do with the raised funds. Over the 7 years DD was there they bought laptops and ipads, furnitured a relaxing room (the school had a SEN provision as well), toys for wet play, equipment for forest school, playground equipment, paid towards renovation of the. library.

Schools are underfunded and can only pay for the minimum needed. I did't mind the odd £1 to ensure DD had a great school time.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Lots of parents don’t participate/ I think it’s important to participate where one can, these things raise money for the school: learning subscriptions, trips etc. It does hit you though that school is not a place you send your kid off from 9-3 and they come home knowing everything. There’s a lot of parent participation from the learning to the social side.

Yes, it's like another part time job in itself dealing with school-related stuff. I sometimes envied my parents who just sent me off to school and never got involved with anything.

@ElftonWednesday

At least schools mostly do this electronically now. It was an ocean-going pain in the arse to always have the right amount of cash in the house at short notice.

The flip side of that is text messages and emails demanding "voluntary" donations making them far less voluntary than they were before. Especially when you go to pay the lunch money and the "voluntary" donation is in red and "overdue"

We recently had a sponsored activity event. The only people who give a toss about donating to my beloved offspring is us, so no bulking up from doting grandparents etc (I've never even gone through the awkwardness of asking), and I put in a token gesture because the thing they're being sponsored to do is rarely challenging. School set the default value on the sponsorship payment at £50 per child... so £100 for this family. Yes that could be changed and was duely amended to £5 per child, but that is a huge psycological pressure to put onto families.

Yes, that can cause issues. But it's also easy to ignore that charity donation request or just give a pound when you get used to the system. Everything is set at £1 for such things at DDs' schools so it depends how the schools set it up.

I've worked in various primaries and never do all children pay. It's always a casual 'hand your pound to the teacher' situation so I never count who has or hasn't done it. Also, when 20 kids hand me a pound I have plenty of change so can easily make change for someone with a note. I appreciate you might not want to send your child in with a fiver of tenner though, although if the change was more than £4 I'd just offer to look after it all day for the child (lower KS2).

I can’t think of anything that has been asked for this school year other than a poppy donation.

We got asked for £50 voluntary donation at the beginning of term, £1 no uniform day and 1 dress up day so far!

@Sparklespangle But the majority of that was optional - nobody is forcing you to buy school photos or school dinners, I'm sure you take plenty of pictures of your child and you could always send them in with packed lunch. Young Voices does involve some cost but that amount suggests you've bought tickets/clothing - again, that's a choice.

We’ve had £15 for trips for the yr- bargain
£3 disco
£3 for an in school Xmas fair
£1 poppy

Honestly unless you can’t afford it I think it’s a bargain, your child is educated for free !

I don't take part In most of it tbh. I'm far too busy she will go in non uniform on those days and I'll participate if my 10
Year old seems interested. I near on killed myself keeping up with the Jones when they girls were smaller.

My school asks for a fair amount of contributions from parents, but most of it is optional.

I don’t think parents should feel bad if they don’t want to buy poppies or donate to CIN or do whatever sponsored event for some other charity. It seems wrong to me that charity is pushed on school children or they are left out if they don’t donate. We wouldn’t ever leave a child out of something for not donating though.

The contributions that are for the school or are for something that will directly benefit your own child are fine though, and I think those should be expected. Having children isn’t free, providing education doesn’t come free and we all know how strapped schools are for cash atm, so parents should expect to contribute.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Today I spend 66pounds on young voices, 18pounds on school photos and 50pounds in school dinners. I can't afford it

Why are you buying school photos if its unaffordable? We've never bought a single one.

Have you priced up packed lunches instead of school meals?

I was wondering the exact same. All of those are optional surely? Even school dinners can be changed to sandwiches.

Mine are now in sixth form but yes I do remember it being money all of the time, our PTA did a fabulous job and raised thousands a year but it is tough when you are struggling.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

We’ve had £15 for trips for the yr- bargain £3 disco £3 for an in school Xmas fair £1 poppy

Honestly unless you can’t afford it I think it’s a bargain, your child is educated for free !

Not really free though is it as a tax payer.

You know that it is voluntary? I've never heard of kids being singled out or sent home to change into uniform if they don't bring money for a non-uniform day, that would be potentially discriminatory against those from poorer backgrounds, and no school wants that. No one is making you buy or make cakes for the bake sale either. And no one will know what you do or don't participate in so don't worry about being judged.

I do agree though, it's relentless. I don't mind the money so much as the frequency of the requests. I just ask DS if he wants to participate or buy whatever is being sold and go with what he says.

I've heard some horror stories about pushy PTAs. Really hoping DS's is a nice one that doesn't get stroppy if you can't contribute. Nobody needs a guilt trip on top of everything else.

@ElftonWednesday

Well first of all, what do you expect when schools don’t have enough money?

The constant requests don't happen at secondary school. I wonder how they manage?

Some secondary schools ask for a contribution to the school fund at the start of each year. They will also do the non uniform days, as well as charity days, trips, PTA events and so on.

I find it relentless, our standard week at school costs

Dinner Money £23
After school club £28
Swimming £3
Hockey £3

Then we have non uniform days/charity days/odd sock days

children in need next week where they are asked to dress head to toe in yellow and make a donation of £2 (my kids don’t have anything yellow so I’ll have to go out and get something)

It’s adds up and to be honest I find it annoying especially as it’s a decent school and we still have to provide stationery including wraps of paper on a monthly basis!

I skip school photos, cheaper to go to max speilman in school uniforms and get a picture together, then print off copies if wanting to give to family. Another thing I do is shop ahead, so once children in need is over, go to asda and get next year's t-shirt for half the price, same for after Xmas with Xmas jumper/t-shirt. Keep an eye on fb Market Place for a costume that could fit world book day. Being prepared saves a fortune, especially with more than one. I keep a small stash of change in my car, all different coins in case there's a cake sale or something I forget about.

Not really free though is it as a tax payer well think how tax payers without kids feel- ridiculous argument like those people who shout at the nhs like it’s their own private medical

IME (youngest child is in her last year at primary) this term is the worst, with Harvest Festival, Halloween, Children in Need, Christmas….

I don’t do everything. In fact this term I’ve done nothing, largely because I’ve forgotten. Nothing bad has happened.

Maybe just see how it goes when you are there?
No point in worrying about how te pta operates until you are at the school and can suss it out.
Is your child at nursery? I disnt find it much different apart from the occasional trips
Our school is good at giving a fair bit of notice as lots of the teachers are parents so presume see it from both sides.costumes for plays are mostly provided by the school or lots of advance notice
Things likely to happen will be world book day and something for christmas maybe a jumper.
Most of the time it will be £1 for children in need and wear your own clothes, bring in something for the food bank

Dd doesnt like dressing up so always goes in uniform. We add a £1 in anyway but non of its compulsory.

@Mixitupalot

I find it relentless, our standard week at school costs

Dinner Money £23
After school club £28
Swimming £3
Hockey £3

Then we have non uniform days/charity days/odd sock days

children in need next week where they are asked to dress head to toe in yellow and make a donation of £2 (my kids don’t have anything yellow so I’ll have to go out and get something)

It’s adds up and to be honest I find it annoying especially as it’s a decent school and we still have to provide stationery including wraps of paper on a monthly basis!

Yes you have to pay for your child to eat…shocking isn’t it?!