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Relentless demands for money at primary school

127 replies

WildWombat · 11/11/2021 21:38

DS hasn't started school yet, but so many of my friends with older kids have been telling me about this. Expect constant requests for contributions to this, that or the other. Non uniform days, bake sales, charity events etc etc. Normally money but also costumes/dress up, or things to donate for selling. Has anyone come up with a good way of managing all these requests? Do you give something every time it's asked for, or do you just select a few and not bother with the others? It sounds like a minefield and when DS starts reception I want to go in feeling prepared to start as I mean to go on, so any advice v welcome!

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 11/11/2021 21:46

Bake sales and charity events you don't have to participate in, often you only actually can spend money if you are able to be there for pick up time as they are often done during that time period.

Non uniform days are not that frequent and only ask for a £1 or so usually.

Costumes/dress up - if you have any parents online groups, an active PTA etc then often these items are swapped and passed around. You'll find older children will have done these events in previous years and have costumes that can be handed on.

The school should have a calendar of events so that you can see when the usual activities take place and be able to plan ahead.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 11/11/2021 21:55

Our school say we won't ask for more than £40 in a year towards trips and events - don't think that includes charity things like Children in need etc though.

Your child will be entitled to free school meals whilst in Key stage 1 so make the most of that while you can!

pjahsy · 11/11/2021 22:00

Mine started school this Sept and it has felt a little relentless with the requests, but the only thing we've had to do is 50p for a non uniform day. Everything else has been a choice. Schools are very underfunded and the only way they can offer anything beyond the basic is via fundraising so I'm happy to contribute to this.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

RIPWalter · 11/11/2021 22:10

Day before half term £2 for pumpkin carving competition (+cost to buy pumpkin £2ish)

Last week pajama day £2.50 not even sure why

Next week children in need £2 plus raffle tickets £1 each.

So in less than a month it will be over £8.50 for one child. It does seem excessive, and really tough for families in low income and families with more than one kid at the school.

Laquila · 11/11/2021 22:15

This has dropped quite a bit at our school since Covid. (It was more prevalent at preschool actually.)

I'd advise keeping a £1 coin in your child's bag for the times you forget it's needed, and maybe keep a store of unwanted gifts/random bits and pieces that you can donate for raffle prizes.

purpledagger · 11/11/2021 22:40

Keep some change handy at home for non uniform days, bake sales etc. Change/correct money is always welcome.

Some schools have old newsletters online, so check your allocate school as this may have give you an idea as to the type of events the school normally has.

Many schools will do the same type of events eg Christmas jumper day and World Book Day, so you know these events are coming well in advance.

Keep a small stash of craft items like kitchen roll tube, yoghurt pots, glue, paper etc, as the children often need to make something.

A mans t shirt can often be repurposed for many dress up days. My DN needed to go i dressed as a Celt, so I used one of my OHs brown t shirts as a tunic, with a belt. In fact, a brown t shirt will work for most historical eras.

If you can't bake, shop bought cup cakes or doughnuts etc are a much welcomed donation.

Any unwanted Xmas gifts eg toiletries can be donated for the school fayre, so keep them aside.

Some schools sell second hand uniform, so put aside any good condition uniform you no longer need.

batmanladybird · 11/11/2021 22:45

Also it's only a minefield if you want it to be.
I am always happy to contribute to things that will help the school - whether that's my time or money as I want my kids to have the best experience they can there.
Do not underestimate how excited they can get about those small 50p things here and there -
I find the xmas bazaar to be a freaking nightmare but they absolutely adore it and look forward to it all year. So I jolly along. and give some money to the school
Sometimes the bake sales etc it would be easier to just give the school a fiver than whip up some flapjack/nip to tesco only to buy your own contribution back but they kids adore all of the activity based stuff. The dress up stuff.
And so I am happy to plan world book day outfits months in advance by checking charity shops/ borrowing e.g I have a cloth cap I got off eBay years ago that works for all the world wars/victorian day stuff.

Sparklespangle · 11/11/2021 22:49

Today I spend 66pounds on young voices, 18pounds on school photos and 50pounds in school dinners. I can't afford it, I will have to find the money from somewhere. It is relentless.

Piccalino3 · 11/11/2021 22:58

I agree, it is relentless. Our school has written to parents to ask for a standing order for £10 per child per month as they are so hard up. We do that along with, this week alone, odd sock day (£1), break the rules day (£2.50) and poppy donation (fair enough. Then there's gin for the class hamper, a themed non uniform day every month - millions of various donations for the school fairs, bake sales, Christmas jumper (which they get 9 days wear out of!!). It's just endless and a lot to sort out.

41sunnydays · 11/11/2021 23:39

Not all schools are the same, ours doesn't ask for many donations except for harvest. We have non uniform days almost weekly but these are a an attendance award so not really an issue

Lockdownbear · 12/11/2021 01:23

Our new head cut a lot of the charity stuff out. I remember when my eldest started the first term was constant money requests.
Moved the sponsor to spring, cut out Children in need day, Christmas jumper day was renamed a dress down day. World book day is acknowledged but cost free.

WildWombat · 12/11/2021 06:55

Oh God, it's sounding like a barrel of laughs. Does anyone just not do some of these things? I mean, just opt out of sending cakes for the bake sale or giving gin for the hamper? I get that some things would have to be done for the sake of the kids, because they want to be part of it or are afraid of being left out, but honestly with working full time I can't imagine having the brain space to deal with all the constant demands. Not to mention the budgeting nightmare. How about the school just asks for a £50 (or whatever) one off payment and then cuts the crap for the year?!

OP posts:
WildWombat · 12/11/2021 06:59

@Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin

Our school say we won't ask for more than £40 in a year towards trips and events - don't think that includes charity things like Children in need etc though.

Your child will be entitled to free school meals whilst in Key stage 1 so make the most of that while you can!

I did not know that about free meals in KS1 - good tip, thanks!
OP posts:
RampantIvy · 12/11/2021 07:03

Schools are so desperately underfunded these days. Requests for donations when DD was at primary school weren't as frequent as some of the ones on this thread, but this is something that everyone needs to bear in mind when deciding to have a large family.

I would be selective about the donations and choose the ones that are the most fun for the children because you wouldn't want them to feel left out.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/11/2021 07:03

Today I spend 66pounds on young voices, 18pounds on school photos and 50pounds in school dinners. I can't afford it

Why are you buying school photos if its unaffordable? We've never bought a single one.

Have you priced up packed lunches instead of school meals?

WorriedMillie · 12/11/2021 07:10

Ours isn’t too bad. The Head was selling poppies yesterday, but there was no obligation to buy/donate. Next week is Children in Need (wear something with spots on (we’ve painted spots on DD’s face in the past). Suggested donation £1
There’s a Christmas jumper day, but the school organises a jumper swap/donation thing, for those who don’t have one
The younger ones do a nativity, but we swap costumes around (although I did once have to buy a camel onesie due to being disorganised)
There are the usual PTA events, but they’re generally easy enough to dodge if you don’t want to participate.
There usually one trio a year that requires payment and residential in year 4, but I’m not sure what the cost of this is (it might be a good idea to look into possible trips and residentials ahead of time, so they don’t come as a surprise)
There haven’t been any cake sales due to covid, but it’s usually a 50p/£1 a cake affair
My problem at the mo is getting loose chance, when so many businesses are asking for card payment, I was scrambling around for poppy money yesterday

badlydrawnbear · 12/11/2021 07:15

Well, I didn’t send my DC dressed in something green with some money for charity yesterday because I forgot. No one complains except possibly your child if they are the only one not dressed up. My other DC had to go dressed as an evacuee yesterday. That cost £9.99 from Amazon prime because we don’t own any suitable clothes and I couldn’t make anything with only 2 days notice. Again, not all the DC in the class dressed up.

Iggly · 12/11/2021 07:18

@WildWombat

DS hasn't started school yet, but so many of my friends with older kids have been telling me about this. Expect constant requests for contributions to this, that or the other. Non uniform days, bake sales, charity events etc etc. Normally money but also costumes/dress up, or things to donate for selling. Has anyone come up with a good way of managing all these requests? Do you give something every time it's asked for, or do you just select a few and not bother with the others? It sounds like a minefield and when DS starts reception I want to go in feeling prepared to start as I mean to go on, so any advice v welcome!
Well first of all, what do you expect when schools don’t have enough money?

Second of all, it isn’t that bad, not at least in my school. This term so far, we’ve had one non-uniform day with a donation for the PTA fair. One for poppies (optional).
Plus a Christmas raffle (optional).

makelovenotpetrol · 12/11/2021 07:25

We probably pay about 300 in extras a year. Maybe more. I just pay it

camelfinger · 12/11/2021 07:26

It does feel pretty relentless. If I was organised enough I would have a separate place to put pound coins so they are ready when needed. Also same for keeping hold of old things - unfortunately our school ask for things just after the recycling has been taken. We all live in pretty small houses so we don’t have lots of clutter lying around like old sheets and T-shirts.

The costumes are a right pita - most of the parents find it easier to get something off Amazon rather than making a costume. And you may not want your kid standing there in a draped sheet all day when the rest of the class are in proper fancy dress.

I’m a fan of uniforms - it makes washing and the mornings much easier. My boys aren’t really fussed about wearing other clothes and dressing up but I don’t want them to feel left out.

We can afford the constant stream of requests but it does feel relentless. I think school would be supportive of low income families but if you don’t quite meet that category and have more than one child then it would seem like a lot. Definitely the one thing that was good about the school closures last year.

WildWombat · 12/11/2021 07:28

@Iggly I would expect them to make it as straightforward as possible. I have no problem paying for the odd thing to make my child's time at school enjoyable or rewarding, but it does seem like such a rigmarole. Hardly any notice to provide a costume or cash or cakes that you might not have in the house. Something extra to think about almost every week aging to a parent's mental load. I'm a planner and this story of thing would drive me round the twist! Something that happens every year like harvest or Christmas jumper day is doable, but random dress your child in green day...🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
ElftonWednesday · 12/11/2021 07:29

At least schools mostly do this electronically now. It was an ocean-going pain in the arse to always have the right amount of cash in the house at short notice.

WildWombat · 12/11/2021 07:30

@makelovenotpetrol

We probably pay about 300 in extras a year. Maybe more. I just pay it
300!?! Bloody hell. Is that typical??
OP posts:
ElftonWednesday · 12/11/2021 07:31

Well first of all, what do you expect when schools don’t have enough money?

The constant requests don't happen at secondary school. I wonder how they manage?

Lockdownbear · 12/11/2021 07:31

@RampantIvy
Schools are under funded I admit but under our previous head there was a number of charity events they tried to raise money for on top of the money they raised for the school, things like Children in Need, wear something spotty and donation, Harvest Festival for the food bank, clothing appeal I think it was for overseas kids, poppy day collection, charity collection at Christmas service.

And that was on top of a sports sponsored for school, bring and buy sale for the school, money for dress down day, Halloween disco, Christmas jumper day, ££ Christmas cards, clothes for Christmas party and money for pantomime. All in one term!

The so first term was relentless I felt I was constantly giving money for something.
I really don't think Schools should be trying to raise money for other charities, it just puts extra pressure on families.

The new head cut out Children in need, the clothing appeal, poppy day collection, this year they skipped harvest but that might be covid related, moved the sponsor, and swapped Christmas jumper day for a dress down day - no jumper required.
Made it a whole lot more tolerable.