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Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

698 replies

Youngatheart00 · 07/11/2021 15:44

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 07/11/2021 20:13

"I don't want a pamper session. I just want a happy weekend with good food, good wine and my mates."

This ^^ is the best answer so far. It is to the point and not rude in the least.

Tanith · 07/11/2021 20:13

"Dude, I love you like a sister but if you bring MLM to my first holiday in yonks I’ll put extra tannins in your red wine and hog the loo in the morning, give it a rest please xx”

Love this one from Hotmeatymilk Grin

toolazytothinkofausername · 07/11/2021 20:13

@RampantIvy

"I don't want a pamper session. I just want a happy weekend with good food, good wine and my mates."

This ^^ is the best answer so far. It is to the point and not rude in the least.

Agreed.
TheBareNecessitiesOfLife · 07/11/2021 20:16

Something like "Hmm, a pamper evening sounds nice but if it's a selling thing then I'm probably going to vote no. I'd prefer to do that sort of thing another time, not while we're on holiday as it really changes the atmosphere.". (Then of course don't actually go 'another time').

Muchtoomuchtodo · 07/11/2021 20:17

You and the others need to stop sitting on the fence and tell her that this is not the right time or place for this.
It’s a weekend away to relax and catch up with everyone who’s there.

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 07/11/2021 20:19

@TheBareNecessitiesOfLife

Something like "Hmm, a pamper evening sounds nice but if it's a selling thing then I'm probably going to vote no. I'd prefer to do that sort of thing another time, not while we're on holiday as it really changes the atmosphere.". (Then of course don't actually go 'another time').
This is what I was going to say. You wouldnt mind a relaxing pamper evening, but not a sales evening.
Mustreadabook · 07/11/2021 20:20

Seems a waste of an evening when you are away. You could do that anytime!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/11/2021 20:23

This is what I was going to say. You wouldnt mind a relaxing pamper evening, but not a sales evening.

She'll say 'no pressure to buy, hun!' then pressure you on the day.

Honestly I understand people don't want to be rude, but you have to be painfully blunt to MLMers especially the type who have the nerve to try and turn one evening of a weekend away into a bloody sales opportunity!

HumourReplacementTherapy · 07/11/2021 20:23

Just tell her "Ahh, it's a no from me, cheers but maybe another timeSmile really looking forward to seeing you all, who's bringing XYZ and how many bottles of vino shall we get?"

ChargingBuck · 07/11/2021 20:25

"Pam, can you not do your pamper evening another time? We haven't all been away together for so long - I want to catch up with friends, not buy toiletries. Besides, there won't be enough time: we get back to the cottage at 6, & are eating at 8.30 & sorting the kids out inbetween. You'd be much better off scheduling something after we're back, so you can make enough time & space to do it properly."

(Then don't go to any event she schedules later.)

KateyKontent · 07/11/2021 20:28

Saying no is an option, I do not think it's impolite to refuse. Your friend has taken over one night of your holiday to sell stuff. Her and her supportive can crack on. I'll bet he'll be off with the menfolk doing something less boring instead, CF.

I would not attend an MLM event, certainly not one I was paying to attend on a long awaited weekend away. "Not for me, thanks." No point in making any excuses, they will try to counter them. Then grey rock, "no thanks". I wouldn't agree to attend this on another night either.

I'd probably ask her for coffee to tell her. You have at least 5 people that don't want this. If I was feeling especially kind, I raise this separately so they didn't feel ganged up on. If they continued to be obnoxious, i'd call in reinforcements.

I'm sticking to our original plans and won't be going in with your spa night.

I have a truly lovely friend that has just got involved with Younique. As much as I love her, I just can't deal with the hard sell nonsense. I'm hoping it doesn't impact our friendship. I guess that's up to them.

KateyKontent · 07/11/2021 20:28

@ChargingBuck

"Pam, can you not do your pamper evening another time? We haven't all been away together for so long - I want to catch up with friends, not buy toiletries. Besides, there won't be enough time: we get back to the cottage at 6, & are eating at 8.30 & sorting the kids out inbetween. You'd be much better off scheduling something after we're back, so you can make enough time & space to do it properly."

(Then don't go to any event she schedules later.)

Perfect
Newbabynewhouse · 07/11/2021 20:31

Urgh its not exactly a pamper evening when its forcing you to buy expensive products is it.... unless she is just bringing the products for you all to use and enjoy yourself..on her..... which i doubt!

H1Drangea · 07/11/2021 20:31

Pam , I’m a bit disappointed that you want to make money out of us , your so called friends , on what I thought was going to be a long awaited weekend away

But , I wouldn’t buy Body Shop tat anyway

TimeToSay · 07/11/2021 20:34

Go full honesty but polite.

I'm lucky in that my friends know my stance on MLMs.

I'd say something like:

"Can't wait to see you all, but I'll give the Body Shop hour a miss. I'm glad if it's working out for you, but I know of too many people hurt by MLMs to support them so I won't be taking part."

Cheeky mare with the "bring your wallets"

SpookyScarySkeletons · 07/11/2021 20:41

Sign up to Temple Spa and have a sell-off!!! 😂

Dullardmullard · 07/11/2021 20:41

Fuck sake Pam you do know this is a scam, you normally google the shit out of everything. Also haven’t you heard what they did to JKR?

This is what I’d say to her.

RampantIvy · 07/11/2021 20:46

I often wonder when I read threads like this on MN why people pussy foot around people like this. Not just MLMers, but bridezillas and chief bridesmaidzillas, MILs, other family members and friendzillas.

Being politely honest is not rude at all. There are ways of assertively saying "no" or "it doesn't work for me" where it doesn't come across as rude. I don't have people like this in my life because they know better than to ask anything unreasonable of me, or more likely I choose not to make friends with people who would do this.

The key is being assertive and confident and sound like you mean no when you say it.

10yearwarranty · 07/11/2021 20:48

You're joking aren't you Pam? First time we've all been together since lockdown - it will be good food, plenty of wine and treats and a massive catching up session. We won't have time to talk about buying Body Shop stuff from you.

10yearwarranty · 07/11/2021 20:49

@RampantIvy

I often wonder when I read threads like this on MN why people pussy foot around people like this. Not just MLMers, but bridezillas and chief bridesmaidzillas, MILs, other family members and friendzillas.

Being politely honest is not rude at all. There are ways of assertively saying "no" or "it doesn't work for me" where it doesn't come across as rude. I don't have people like this in my life because they know better than to ask anything unreasonable of me, or more likely I choose not to make friends with people who would do this.

The key is being assertive and confident and sound like you mean no when you say it.

I agree. I had a friend who, in the most lovely voice would say "Oh sorry lovely, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes". She was so charming and gentle when she said it Grin
bananabuddy3 · 07/11/2021 20:55

Oh god OP you have my sympathy. I know 5 people doing this (two I see maybe once a year and two that I don’t really see anymore) and Facebook is currently going insane with all their Christmas order pushing. And they’re all just “so excited” about the Christmas range.

The one I know the most (still not a best friend by any stretch) I supported at the start. Ordered a bit of make up as I was low anyway. More than I would normally spend and it was no better, felt the same, looked the same as my usual £3.99 base. Couple of months later I bought a body butter. Thing it takes me ages to get through things like that because they aren’t a daily use item to me at all. But the pestering to “restock” got very awkward. As has the pressure from a couple of others.

The thing is, I’m sure like a lot of people on here, I don’t spend that much on items like bubble bath and shampoo. I buy Herbal Essences and stock up when it’s on offer. I buy bubble bath for a quid. I don’t want to spend ten pounds on a bottle a quarter of the size that isn’t even that amazing.
I don’t give smellies as gifts either because to be frank we all know no one really wants the,. Most people have set products that they use. Body lotions. Hand creams etc sit in my bathroom unopened for months. I would feel really awkward giving someone moisturiser or facial scrub. The only toiletries I might gift is a really luxury bubble bath like from The White Company. That is divine.

Don’t get me started on the friend who’s just began a MLM for wax melts. God help me.

My immediate response to her request would have been “Great! I’ll bring face masks, someone bring cucumber for eyes, a couple of us could be in charge of cocktails and maybe we can source something for our feet or just make foot baths and chill!”

The line “bring your wallet” is equally out of order. What it does mean though is that she’s demonstrated her true purpose for attending, so you be brutally honest back. Like everybody above has said.
“I might be up for an actual pamper eve inning where we all bring something and actually all get a chance to get pampered, I’m really not up for a evening with tiny dollops of product being placed on my arm and my friend spending the evening trying to sell. I’m rather upset by the “bring your wallet” comment. I’m offended that basically the only reason you are on this weekend is to make money from us rather than enjoy our company. This was meant to be a social time to finally catch up after a long couple of years. I won’t be attending, and I, to the only one who feels like this”

A bit of blunt and a bit of offence.

Newbabynewhouse · 07/11/2021 20:55

@Tanith is that you? ..i only know one Tanith.. 🤣

BeefSupreme · 07/11/2021 20:58

@PussyCatEatingPigsInBlankets

Oh, and your skin has an adverse reaction to Body Shop products. Halo
This. Tell all the women in the group the products gave you hives and then leave and go to the pub.
thetemptationofchocolate · 07/11/2021 21:00

I wish I could remember where I read this response, so I could credit the writer of it. If it's someone on here, please take a bow as since I read this I have found it so useful as a response to many things.
You just say, "I don't think I would enjoy that", and then say no more.

ChargingBuck · 07/11/2021 21:02

That is brilliant @thetemptationofchocolate!